It is what it is.

Thank you Dr. Seuss

2012-02-15T09:24:00.004-06:00

At first I thought I couldn't come up with a cohesive post and planned on throwing out a lot of random thoughts. Then, right before my very eyes, an entire post was born out of my first random thought. I've read quite a bit lately about people hitting this wall with social media. Some have acknowledged they're completely addicted (while I simply consider it a "minor problem"), some feel like they've become hesitant, others feel a need to censor their messages. Whatever it may be it seems like there's a somewhat collective hesitation. Maybe it's because for so long this was all so new no one had put much thought into it before jumping into it with both feet. Maybe it's blown up so quickly we didn't anticipate it being such a big deal. Whatever the cause may be, I've found myself feeling some of the same things.

When I first joined Twitter I had a public account, then went private for the last couple years. And while I approved strangers all the time, I still felt like I controlled who saw what I said. (Including forbidding almost all coworkers who requested to see my tweets.) Plus, then I could freely tweet about ex-boyfriends full knowing they weren't reading it. For the most part Twitter was like a new world for me. Most of the people I engaged with were strangers. The majority of my close friends aren't big on it. So it felt like a clean slate. A fresh place to post whatever I was thinking and felt very free of judgement (strange, but true. Probably because I didn't care if anyone judged, I hardly knew them.)

I started a blog but didn't tell ANYONE about it. I told myself it was for me and if people asked or found it on their own, so be it. But I wouldn't openly promote it or tell people about it. I like knowing that my friends all over can be updated (and hopefully sometimes entertained) by my blog. That strangers who stop by might engage in conversation and I can meet someone new. That my mom checks in daily to read what she already knows about. So I became a little more open with it. Posted the link on my Twitter profile, occasionally tweeted about a post, etc.

Slowly over the course of the last year I realized that was kind of defeating the purpose. I had experienced so many great opportunities via social media. I found a book club, signed up for a half marathon, talked to the author of my favorite book, all because of it. Why not fully embrace it?

Yesterday in a meeting my team asked what my Twitter handle was and for some reason I felt really strange telling them. It's not like I'm saying horrible things or crazy off the wall shit I wouldn't say in front of them, but I felt a little exposed. And lately because of this not knowing who's reading what I find myself somewhat reluctant to be as actively engaged with it. I'm having a hard time figuring out what my revised voice is. I absolutely refuse to be one of those people who just tweets safe, self-promoting, or work-promoting things (or heaven forbid only tweets about what they think people want to hear). That's not my style, I have a very hard time being someone I'm not. I want to do as I have done and say what I think. Sometimes that'll be safe, sometimes it'll be funny. Other times it might downright piss people off. But I like that that is what social media has been for me.

On one hand it's a little silly - this whole train of thought. By no means do I live any sort of double life and I'm almost exactly the same person at work as I am at play. Realistically, there's no one I can think of who would read anything I've put "out there" and be shocked by it. They've probably heard a similar version of it all already. While I'm really good at not saying fuck in front of parents and grandparents (not mine, but other people's) it slips out literally every where else. I've got pictures of my dog dressed up like a Bumble Bee on my desk at work so it's not like my craziness about her is a big secret. Fairly certain everyone and their mother has heard me talk about Friday Night Lights so I'm not doing all that well at keeping that under wraps...

I think I've just talked myself full circle into realizing as long as I'm true to who I am those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter. Oh, writing. Sometimes you just make everything easier to understand.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2012-02-14T15:05:00.002-06:00

I haven't blogged in a while...but I'm not sure what I want to say yet. So in the mean time, I am reposting this post from Rachel because I not only own a dog, but am a little crazy about owning one. And I love being in love. So it seemed fitting.

Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog

First of all, it’s a big responsibility,
especially in a city like New York.
So think long and hard before deciding on love.
On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security:
when you’re walking down the street late at night
and you have a leash on love
ain’t no one going to mess with you.
Because crooks and muggers think love is unpredictable.
Who knows what love could do in its own defense?
On cold winter nights, love is warm.
It lies between you and lives and breathes
and makes funny noises.
Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.
It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.
Love doesn’t like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.
Is love good all the time? No! No!
Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love.
Love makes messes.
Love leaves you little surprises here and there.
Love needs lots of cleaning up after.
Sometimes you just want to get love fixed.
Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper
and swat love on the nose,
not so much to cause pain,
just to let love know Don’t you ever do that again!
Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.
Because love loves exercise.
It runs you around the block and leaves you panting.
It pulls you in several different directions at once,
or winds around and around you
until you’re all wound up and can’t move.
But love makes you meet people wherever you go.
People who have nothing in common but love
stop and talk to each other on the street.
Throw things away and love will bring them back,
again, and again, and again.
But most of all, love needs love, lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and never stops.

To duvet is to be.

2012-02-09T10:44:00.004-06:00

At first I wasn't going to write this post because I've already included FAR too many people in my epic search for a new duvet cover and I didn't think anyone else needed to be aware of just how ridiculous I had gotten. But then I realized, if I can't be ridiculous here then where could I be?

So now you all get to be included in the madness. Or as I've taken to calling it, you get to be a part of the Focus Group. See after the Great Breakup of 2011 I sort of renovated my bedroom. Decided to make it my space. (Which led me to a greater understanding of how the guy who owned it before me landed upon all the renovating he did after a broken engagement.) So I painted the walls (well, my dad painted the walls, I'm not to be trusted with paint and brushes, which is fair) and got new bedding. I knew when I bought the bedding it wouldn't be the final result but it was a "in the mean time" band-aid to prevent me from having a room that clashed. So there wasn't the pressure last time of finding THE perfect bedding.

I've been casually looking at various places for the perfect duvet cover for nearly a year. Sometimes thinking I had found it but it was the wrong color, a gross texture, too expensive, etc. I've learned from my current bedding that with two dark haired furkids having anything lighter than their fur means I'll be washing the bedding at least once a week to keep from feeling filthy. (Which, if you're following along at home, really just means to keep from LOOKING filthy as I'm really just saying I need a duvet cover that doesn't SHOW all the pet hair. I KNOW, I already said, this whole thing is ridiculous.)

So now that I had a little surplus income in the form of my first income tax return in 6 years, I got down to business. The business of finding the perfect duvet cover. One that would conceal pet fur (so I could at least get a couple weeks out of it before needing to wash it), not give me the risk of cardiac arrest at the cost, and that would compliment both my gray walls and affinity for all things gray & yellow. And after hours (literally) of research and consulting with my focus group (Thanks Mom, Gina, Sae, Kyle, Sukie and the Twitter!) I picked one. And I loved it.

Then, because all talent I previously had when it comes to spending money I've since lost, I panicked. Too expensive? Not the right color? Too hard to match sheets with? What if I want purple? What if they change their return policy in the next week? Is that yellow to light? Is the gray too brown? And so on and so forth. Until this morning when my mother told me to put on my big girl pants and buy the damn duvet cover (I'm pretty sure she was over being a part of the focus group.) And so I did. I bought it. Only after I told myself if I didn't like it I could always return it. And that realistically, it's just bedding. I can change it next week if I decide to. And the world will keep spinning.

So without further ado*, I give you the newest addition to my space.

Thank you focus group for your participation. In return if you come and visit my house I'll let you roll around on the new purchase. It is 820 count...so it could be worth it.

*Because seriously, it's already been far too much ado about nothing. Really.

13.1

2012-02-06T10:35:00.005-06:00

Last Friday I rather quietly signed up for a half marathon. I've been thinking about signing up for quite some time, over a year actually. Some of my friends from the Twitter have participated in this event before and have had amazing things to say about it when they've returned. Since their initial event, some of them have moved up and are now coaches and mentors.

So when I learned that two of the most inspiring women I have met through Twitter were not only participating but also attending as a coach and a mentor, I knew this time was THE time for me to sign up. I am officially a registered member of the Southeastern Wisconsin chapter of Team Challenge. I will complete the 13.1-mile Napa to Sonoma Wine Country Half Marathon on July 15, 2012, to raise funds and awareness for research leading to improved treatment options and a cure for Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis.

As a member of Team Challenge, I have a coach, a mentor (Hi Nicole!!), a training program, and teammates to support me. I have committed to a training schedule with additional trainings with my team on the weekends, and I’ve promised to raise $3,900 in donations to The Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of America.

I have never done anything like this. I'm excited and scared and nervous and bouncing up and down from all of it. I want to scream from a mountain top that I'm doing this...and then pee my pants a little because, well, I'm DOING this. It's a HUGE goal to raise and it's going to be work. And after I raise that money, it's a LARGE amount of miles to move. I haven't yet decided if I'll be running or walking, I'm planning on figuring that out with my coaches. Either way, I'll be moving my body 13.1 miles on July 15th after raising $3,900 (hopefully more!). It's a big undertaking but I'm thrilled to have such a good cause to be working for.

Should you be interested in supporting me on this journey, you can do so directly at my Donations Page. However, support will be appreciated in all forms including reminding me when I think I've gone officially crazy half way through what a great idea this is. :)

Free Jeans Friday

2012-02-03T12:33:00.002-06:00

It's kind of a big deal around these parts. Especially if you're me. I'm kind of notorious for having a deep love for Jeans Days at work. I consider it a really awesome benefit that's free for the employer to provide and the employees (at least here) get STOKED about it (especially me). This past year for our United Way campaign, when they announced the incentives to donate, NOTHING received more excitement than the promised 4 Fridays followed by an entire week of FREE jeans days. Seriously, the raffle included 2 airline tickets, a cruise, shopping sprees, and ipads and the biggest reaction came for the jeans days. It's insane.

See, during the summer months we get every other Friday for free. Then in the Winter various organizations sell stickers for $5, and the donations go to whatever non-profit is sponsoring the Jeans Day. So when the occasional (and rare) FREE jeans day shows up? It's a pretty big ordeal.

But I have a theory about why it is that way. At my last job, we were able to wear jeans every day. But if we had a big meeting or visitors to the office, we dressed up. And I remember those days always feeling a little more powerful, a little more successful. Dressing up became equated with a "big day." So now I'm noticing the opposite here. We dress up every day, so when we get to wear jeans you can actually feel it in the office. Everyone is just a little more laid back, a little more casual. I think that's why people love Jeans day, it's a more casual feeling all around. So I'm not sure which is better, the dress up = big day feeling or the dress down = laid back workplace. Hard to decide which is better as the rare occasion.

It's an interesting concept though. I know they always say, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." There is some truth to the fact that what you're wearing affects how you carry yourself and your overall demeanor. This may sound a little ridiculous, but I've been making a concentrated effort to actually put some effort into what I'm wearing when I could wear sweatpants. I LOVE my yoga pants and typically spend every spare moment I can in them on the weekends. But I know I feel better in a nice outfit, maybe even with non-tennis shoes and jewelery. (gasp!)

What do you wear when you want to feel great about yourself? Do you prefer dressing up at work or sticking to a casual setting? Are you too addicted to your black yoga pants?

Consumed.

2012-01-30T09:15:00.003-06:00

Back in high school when my parents had a really honest talk about drinking and the like, my dad offered me a piece of advice I have never forgotten.

"Don't let it consume you."

He shared stories of friends he had from high school and college and how consumption to various things had provided a pivotal point in their lives when things took a turn for the worse. And he further reinforced a message he had been giving to me for years, "Focus and balance. Balance and focus." We talked about how as long as you have balance in your life, a positive focus and never let anything totally consume you beyond your control, you're on the right track.

For the great majority of my life (save a handful of nights in college) I've followed quite closely to this advice. If you ask any of my friends nowadays, it's a rare occasion that I actually get drunk and even that only happens when I'm in a safe place, with people I know, and a guaranteed ride home. I've watched people very close to me become consumed by substances and this has only helped the message hit home even harder.

And now, at the ripe old age of 28 I've got a pretty good balance down. Until recently, I noticed I had maybe become a little consumed by something totally different. Something far less scary than booze or crack, but consumed nonetheless...Dating. Anyone who's single in the "grown-up" world can probably attest to this. It's not like college where you're just constantly meeting new people, and friends of friends are introducing you to new men like it's going out of style. Dating in the "real world" can become work. Like part time job, waste a bunch of time and don't get paid, WORK. It happens kind of quickly and you don't realize it at first. Then all of a sudden you realize you're juggling dates and staying up late texting someone who probably has a girlfriend anyways. (What's that? Oh, just me? Well then, carry on.) And like anything that consumes you, the high of it eventually wears off. You burn out. What was once fun and exciting becomes daunting. You feel pressure to keep up with it. Go out, meet people, put yourself "out there". And then, it's not fun and it's not exciting. It's stressful. It becomes all people ask about. You become sick of telling the same stories over and over again.

I realize this makes me sound just absolutely ridiculous. But it's true, and if you're in a similar situation you probably can relate. I still like dating, I'm still very open to dating people and I'm excited about the potential of meeting nice, quality men. But that's just a little sliver of what is going on in my life. There's so much more to do and get excited about and learn.

So I've made an effort in the last couple weeks to become unconsumed by dating. To not care about it, to not get wrapped up in how successful it is, to not let my happy or sad moments be hinging on someone else. And let me tell you something, this has been a fantastic decision. I've been doing all sorts of stuff for me and me alone. I've stepped outside of my comfort zone for no one else but myself. I've been to the gym more, read more books, cooked dinners, met strangers, joined a book club, gone to church, had sleepovers with my nephew, and spent more time with friends and family. All while not giving a fuck (to be quite blunt) about dating, or men, or if or when I'll ever get married.

It has been quite liberating. And before you get all your panties in a bundle, let's just cover some bases. While I've joked quite a bit lately about just picking up some more cats and calling it a day, I don't actually think I'll end up a crazy cat lady. I'm still confident I'll date someone at some point. But in the mean time, I'm going to make Single Angie's life the best damn life it can be. And so far I'm doing quite well. So take that dating, you consume me no longer!

That's So Random.

2012-01-25T10:36:00.002-06:00

There's been some wacky thoughts going through my brain lately. So naturally, I'll share.

I have to agree with Beyonce / Reba McEntire (depending on your genre preference), If I were a Boy, I would be a killer boyfriend. Sometimes I think about that and I think, it's really not that hard. I mean I could sweep girls off their feet with the best of 'em and it would require very little effort. Send flowers, be nice, say nice things, don't lie, etc. But then yesterday I thought to myself, I bet there's dudes who think, "I'd make the best girlfriend ever. I'd just wear low-cut shirts, and cook and clean without bitching, and let him play video games all the time." So I guess that goes both ways. Maybe it's not that simple.

I'm on a pizza kick lately. While some people worry their habits or certain sayings point to them turning into their father, being able to eat Pizza for 4 meals over the past week and still wanting more is what tells me I'm turning into my dad.

I watched the Notebook for the first time ever this weekend. (I know, what kind of girl am I?!) I tried watching it once in college when it first came out, but it was right after a break-up and I was NOT in the mood for cheesy love. I'm pretty sure I made a scene, threw a fit about love and stomped upstairs (ah, to be young again). So I went into it with a (somewhat more) open mind this time. And here's what I thought. I love that time period. It's so romantic to me. And I DID cry (like y'all warned I would), but not about the love story. I cried because Dementia is sad. When your brain makes you forget your life, that is very sad. The love story was so-so.

The movie also fueled another thought. In general, I do not, repeat DO NOT, appreciate love stories where there's someone who gets dicked. Lon got dicked hard in the Notebook. Dude was nice and wonderful and he lost. I don't find romance in situations where someone leaves another person, or cheats on another person because they're so passionate about a former love. Quite honestly, it pisses me off. Cheating is NEVER romantic. PERIOD. Even with Ryan Gossling.

Stop, take a moment and just think about Ryan Gossling for a moment. You're welcome.

If there was ever a tool to prove to men that they are correct about their assumption that all women think about is weddings and babies, Pinterest would be that tool. Let's get something straight here, I've got a sick wedding planned on Pinterest so I get it. And if I was actually planning a wedding, I'd be working that thing double time. But yesterday when I logged on to see the boards I follow, I nearly vomited. For crying out loud people, there's other things than 45 different ways to wear your hair down and curly. Also, pinning 35 somewhat different but mostly identical onesies for a kid you don't have is overkill, IN MY OPINION (of course). Things like ADORABLE animals (which you are free to judge me on because yes, 169 pins of cute animals IS a problem). That's why I pin things like this and this oh and of course this and this. Obviously you can just unfollow those boards too, I get that. I just like to bitch about things sometimes, k?

I don't like when people ask me if I like my phone. Because it's inappropriate how passionately I talk about how much I love it when I answer them.

I know the following thought makes me sound like a complete idiot, but I'm going to say it anyway. Because this is my blog, and if you don't like it you don't have to read it. But given that almost all my readers are my friends, chances are you won't. I'm over all this politic hoopla already...and you guys, it's only January. THIS GOES UNTIL NOVEMBER. And it's not that I hate it in a "twirling my bleach blond hair between my fingers, chomping my gum, furrowing my brows and stating, "I just don't get it" way. I hate it in a "since when did we allow a bunch of CHILDREN to run for president. Stop tattling on each other, put on your big boy pants and quit calling each other names. Tell me what you are going to do, not what the other person did." way. Also I don't like that Romney looks like a robot and Newt seems to have a twitch in his eye that says, "I may go postal at any given moment." But that's neither here nor there.

Yesterday while volunteering I helped with math homework...in Spanish. My three years & near fluency in sign language from college did nothing to help with this situation. I dug way back, I mean WAY back into my brain to call on high school Spanish. And I'll be dammed, it worked! Together, me and that 5 year old finished her Spanish math homework. I'm not sure who beamed harder with pride when we finished that worksheet and got to play, her or me.

The boys I watch while volunteering LOVE to play Old Maid. Turns out, it's a lot funnier to an 8 year old boy to be called the Old Maid than a 28 year old single girl. Stings in a whole different manner. I suggest Uno any chance I can.

Things I've learned...

2012-01-24T11:25:00.003-06:00

After spending four years coaching high school cheerleaders and being "friended" by many of them on the 'book, I can tell you there are some lessons I've learned from them. Because I know not all of you spend that much time with high school girls (nor should some of you) I've decided to share with you some of what I've learned.

First and foremost, the most important lesson I'll be taking away from all this time is that my daughter (probably my son too, but my experience is strictly with young women), will be allowed to have a facebook profile with ONE condition. I am allowed TOTAL access to any and all information. Her wall, her photos, her friends, EVERYTHING. I can't even tell you how many times I've been looking at the 'book and said to myself, "Woah, if her parents only knew." I can say this because I know most of their parents. I've met them and interacted with them and am pretty confident they'd DIE to see that picture of her wasted. To know she's not "sleeping at her friend's house" and instead is in the shortest skirt I've ever seen (they might have just been underwear) at some house party in Madison. So yes, future daughter, you can absolutely have facebook like all your friends. But you may not be a drunken whore (or at least look like one) in what can best be described as a bathing suit with some guy who looks no less than a decade older than you. At least not without me seeing it!

Did I do "naughty" things in high school? Of course, who didn't? (My mom, that's who. She's notoriously the goody two shoes of the family.) Fortunately for me, there was no facebook in high school. Unfortunately for me, my crafty parents let me get drunk when I was a junior in high school on our spring break trip and I spilled the beans. ALL THE BEANS. Then when I thought I was done, I spilled some more.

But I can honestly say a few things. One, my dad NEVER would have let me out of the house in what the "kids these days" are wearing. I'm 10 years older than most of them and even I don't own clothes that "grown up". Seriously, sometimes for fun I show him pictures of my cheerleaders to see his reaction. He'd have locked me in my room for the remainder of high school. Two, my mom taught me how to put on make-up and that the goal was to look natural. And by "natural" I don't mean "naturally a raccoon." There is such a thing as too much eyeliner. Just saying. T

I know I'm aging myself by saying all this "kids these days" stuff. But seriously, it's lessons I'll take if I ever have a teenage daughter (heaven help me). It makes me thankful dad told me put more clothes on. I'm glad mom told me to wear less make-up. Of course I hated it then, but I'm thankful now.

I know not all girls are like this. I have some former cheerleaders who are stand-up young women and I couldn't be more proud of who they've become. They are smart and respectful not only to others but to themselves. They give me hope that I can raise one of the "good ones." But seriously, is there anything scarier than a teenage daughter?

Besties Book Club

2012-01-20T09:57:00.002-06:00

Or "That time I went to a book club at a stranger's house with a bunch of strangers and had the BEST TIME EVER."

So I'm on the Twitter and have been for a while. And it is always surprising me with it's awesomeness. Via Twitter I heard about a little book club that was getting together and as I've been known to do, I weaseled my way into it! (Same as I did with my college friends and my work friends.) And, as it has in the past, it worked out better than I could have ever imagined.

And quite honestly, I'm probably a little bit too proud of myself about this one, but I'm going to stay that way. Right before we were supposed to meet I panicked a little bit. I knew NO ONE there. I mean, yes, I had spoke to a few of the ladies on Twitter before but I had never MET them, met them. I almost backed out. I thought of a few reasons I could give and they'd be totally believable. Instead I sucked it up and gave it a whirl.

It was SO much fun. Seriously, I laughed more than I ever have when talking about "books." By the end we called it "reading" for "book club". Most of us had just skimmed through the book and after we bitched about it for a while, we moved on to everything else in life. We talked work (the rest of the group all works at the same company but it's another large scale corporation in the area so we had a lot in common to talk about), relationships, kids, and everything else. All of a sudden I realized it felt like I was just hanging out with friends chatting it up.

I'm already looking forward to the next "book club" and hopefully getting to know this group of women even more! +5 points to me for not panicking and actually going! Sometimes ya gotta take a step or two outside of the comfort zone.

Update to the Haters.

2012-01-19T10:15:00.006-06:00

After talking to Kyle, who also grew up in Milwaukee, moved to Minneapolis for school and now lives in NYC, he admitted to me he occasionally talks bad about Milwaukee. My initial response of "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" was then following by probing to figure out just WHY someone would do such a thing.

And it was just as I suspected. People, if you moved away from Milwaukee before you were an adult to another city - you should not be allowed to give reviews of Milwaukee. OF COURSE your new city is more fun, more active, more intriguing. You were FIFTEEN when you were here. That's like me saying, "One time when I was 8, I visited Chicago. But if you ask me the bar scene is pretty lame, dating is tough, and really there's not a lot of quality adults in the area." You hardly had an experience with the city. And the few times a year you come back to visit family doesn't count. (Sukie, I'm looking at you and telling me that Duke's was full of less attractive people. DUH. Any Milwaukeean could have told you to avoid Dukes - and Water St. for that matter - like the plague if you're no longer 21 and / or are not a hood rat. FYI.)

There's a reason when you're taking a vacation to a new city you try and talk to people who have been there or even better LIVE there. They know the city, they've tested things and places out. They can tell you that really loud and fun looking restaurant near your hotel is actually just a tourist trap, the pizza sucks and if you really want a good meal you should hit up that little corner spot in that off-the-beaten path neighborhood. When I go and visit Minneapolis, I let my friends who live there tell me where we should grab dinner, which bar has the best beer. If I didn't do that it's likely I'd have spent my visits over the last 6 years at Blarney's. Not because it's the best place in the city - but because it's what I know. (Which I've learned over my 6 years of visits, is VERY little. I know Dinkytown and sometimes Uptown. My years in college didn't take me exploring very often.)

I love showing off my city. I have a group of visitors who has been coming down every summer for the last 8 years and I believe if you ask them, Milwaukee is a pretty great place. I thrive on finding new places to take them, new adventures to go on. I mean, they have been coming back for 8 years and I'm pretty sure it's not just for Debbie's cooking (although, that's probably their favorite Milwaukee attraction.)

So I guess I'm modifying my rant from yesterday - don't hate on Milwaukee unless you've given it a fair chance, as an adult. When you leave this city you are an ambassador to all that exists here. Unless you believe you've experienced enough to consider yourself an educated ambassador, let those of us who know it talk about it. And finally, if anyone ever wants to know more about this fair city, you now have an open invitation to ask me. I will gladly make recommendations or play tour guide any time you come to visit.

And you really should come and visit :)

My City

2012-01-18T11:14:00.003-06:00

"This city is my city
And I love it, yeah I love it
I was born and raised here
I got it made here
And if I have my way, I'm gonna stay"

I had an interesting conversation this morning with a friend. And now, a few hours later I can call it interesting. This morning I would have had other choice words for it. And I will make a little disclaimer that my friend & I agree it was nice to banter. I'm not mad at her and appreciate her viewpoint. (I always have appreciated a good chance to form an argument.) If you follow me on Twitter you may have seen the following tweet:

Really want to piss me off and turn me into a ranting and raving lunatic? Take a jab at Milwaukee. I love my city.

And this, my friends, is true. I love my dear city. My Twitter profile tells you, "My heart belongs to Milwaukee and my mind wanders everywhere else." It's the truth. And if there ever comes a time, I will always come to my fair city's defense. My frustration with someone dissing good old Milwaukee was heightened because this particular friend is FROM here. She grew up in the same small town I did. Since then she's bounced around for school, for grad school, for life. She's moving back across the globe soon.

I have a profound amount of respect for the well traveled. My parents instilled this in us from a young age and made sure that while we grew up in a small city we had all the experiences we could get from a large one. This is NOT a bitter post from someone who's never left her home town. I moved away for school, I've traveled around the world but I have chosen to make my life and plant my roots here in Milwaukee. I think Milwaukee is an amazing place. It's the biggest little town in the world. It's got a larger city feel while still feeling small enough to manage. There are communities within the City that are tight knit and friendly. There's fine dining, great social scenes and culture to boot. So you can imagine my frustration when we started talking about dating in Milwaukee and this was the comment she made...

"Milwaukee lacks a lot of large, prominent corporations that bring really sophisticated, grounded men there."

*face palm*

I'm sorry, what was that? Then I built my case. I sent her to this site. I listed as many corporations I could that have their headquarters in Milwaukee (including my own. A company with 136,000 employees globally whose sales reached $40 BILLION last fiscal year). She then pointed out that while she does love Midwestern men (and married one from Milwaukee), they aren't always the most cultured and sophisticated. That while Milwaukee does have it's benefits, it's not the same as Chicago or New York City.

Milwaukee Men, I stood up for you. I explained that while due to it's sheer size by comparison, no it absolutely does not have as many corporations. (Duh.) But that the men here are a quality bunch. They have as much exposure to culture as any city and quite frankly when compared to other cities its size, they've got MORE. And in case it wasn't clear, I reaffirmed that some of the biggest douchebags I've ever met have hailed from the mentioned pillars of culture that are New York City and Chicago (because that's how I roll). Eventually she admitted, while she grew up near here, she hadn't ever really dated IN Milwaukee. So she conceded she might not know much about the "dating culture".

Milwaukee may not be a huge city, but it's my home. It helped shaped me into who I have become and will continue to impress me into who I will be. There are so many wonderful cities all over the world. Minneapolis still holds 4 of the best years of my life and has pulled me back for many trips since then. I have a love for London I never imagined could exist for a city I've only been to once. Annually I feel a deep seeded need to visit Chicago for a weekend. Everyone is free to come and go as they please, explore the world, but don't forget about Milwaukee. And sure as hell don't bash it once you've left.

*steps off soapbox*

Snowmageddon 2012

2012-01-12T14:49:00.003-06:00

As per usual, in the Midwest and specifically Wisconsin, we like to throw big ol' "HOLY FUCK THE WORLD IS ENDING" fits when the first be snowfall happens each year. Weatherman get all crazy warning us of the feet of snow we're about to be pelted with and it's all everyone and their mother can talk about for DAYS leading up to it. As if it's the first time we've ever had it happen and we're all OMG WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!? (Answer: the same thing we've done since the beginning of Wisconsin time, we'll bitch about it, over exaggerate what's coming, talk about how it isn't nearly as bad as we expected, shovel a bunch and get on with it.)

Typically these snowmageddon type madness has already long come and gone by January and we're all settled in comfortably to remembering this is winter in Wisconsin and trucking along. Until March that is, when we all go bat shit stir crazy from being snowed into our houses and the snow is all black and gross and totally lost its appeal.

Well last night we were in SNOMG full force. (I know, all the names Snowpocolypse, Snowmageddon, SNOMG, they're terrible but I love them dearly.) I had a networking meeting after work that I needed to be at because I was helping run the thing. I spent pretty much all day looking out the window freaking out because of the snow coming down and the shit conditions of the road. Here's the thing, I don't mind snow. In fact, as long as I don't have to drive in it, I kind of like it. But ever since I damn near totaled my Jeep in college due to some rain that turned ice in a matter of 4 minutes and I slid across 3 lanes of freeway only to be stopped by a cement median at 6:00 in the morning, I'm a little skiddish to drive on bad roads (and little is an extreme understatement. I want to cry about it just thinking of it.)

But last night I ventured out for the treacherous drive home from Milwaukee to Waukesha at 7:00 p.m. My silver lining was that since it was later, the roads wouldn't be bumper to bumper and should have been pretty well cleared by the time I was on them. NOT the case. You know how when you know a snowfall is going to last a long time figure, "meh, might as well wait for it to finish so I don't have to shovel twice!"?* Yes, it is my understanding all plows in the ENTIRE city of Milwaukee had that thought process last night. It was as if the roads had been untouched by salt or the edge of a plow EVER. I basically slid all 20 miles home. BUT, I made it. I likely shaved 3 years off the end of my life from stress, but really, how much fun was I going to have in those last 3 years anyway?

*Let's be honest, I have heard people have this thought process. Save for the maybe the one time in college where snow fell on the unlikely date my name was on the calendar the last time I picked up a shovel was for fun when I was a kid "helping" my dad (and by "help" I of course mean "making a bigger mess and slowing down his progress.") I have snow elves (read: a landscaping company I pay for via my condo dues) who come and remove any and all snow on any pathways my feet or tires might hit between my front door and the road. And I intend to stay there until I have a husband who is required by vows to shovel for me. That's how it works, no?

Blogaversary!

2012-01-09T13:56:00.003-06:00

Last Friday marked a special date for this little blog of mine. January 6, 2009 I wrote my very first post. Which means, last Friday hit three years of me writing posts here. As I predicted there, it would be an interesting recap for me to look over come 2010. And has also done so in 2011 and 2012. At the start of each month I go back and look at what happened in that month in '09, '10 and '11. It's really interesting to go back and remember what was happening at that time one, two and three years ago.

It hasn't changed much. It hasn't exploded with readership. It's not a money maker. I'm certain I break a number of "rules" professional bloggers live by on a daily basis. But it lives just as it was intended to in its creation three years ago. A place to put my thoughts, document my life, remind me of the little details, the ins and outs of the hours of the days that some how wind up making an entire year of time that has passed. Friends keep updated on my life, strangers learn about me, mom hears a written version of the stories I've already told. It served and continues to serve exactly the purpose I wanted it to. Entertainment and remembering what the hell happened in my life. Even in the posts where I'd probably rather forget something that happened, it has helped to remind me where I was and how far I've come.

So thanks, dear readers, for making me feel like I tell an entertaining story, coming back from time to time to see what is happening in my life, and for letting me tell you about my life!

And Happy Blogaversary It is what it is.

Random Thoughts

2012-01-09T12:21:00.002-06:00

Seems like a good day for some random thoughts and things from my brain.

I finally caved and started reading the Hunger Games series. And...I can't even. I just can't. I was late to lunch with my dad on Saturday because I was reading. I spent pretty much ALL waking hours on Sunday reading. Occasionally I have to set the book down because I just can't handle it. It's a sickness and I can't fight it.

Last week, after I went to bed way past my bedtime because I was reading, I punished myself by making the rule that I could only read the book (that night) if I was working out. Which is also how I ended up on a recumbent bike for over an hour on a Thursday night.

I'm halfway through book 2 and have decided I can no longer read it in public. Given the frequency of me yelling out "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME."

I watched Twilight for the first time this weekend. (Related: why yes, I am in fact 15 years old). Gotta say, I've been in a very strong anti-Twilight stance since my coaching days (spend 4 years w/ 45+ high school girls when it first came out and you would be too.) So I went in with a bitter taste. I get why people like it (kinda). I do NOT think Edward (or anything about what he does) is sexy. I found most of it creepy. Oh and when he flies through the woods with Bella on his back like a monkey? Yeah, right. I kept a straight face.

I did promise to watch the second one as I believe I'll have a stronger liking for Jacob. But I don't have high hopes.

I'm on this John Mayer bender that just won't quit. I've got John pandora stations on both of my phones (in case one dies? I'm not sure why) and have listened to them pretty much the last 5 days. I hope it eases up soon, it makes me sad he's such a douche.

I really want to see Sherlock Holmes 2. And have had a craving to re-watch Ironman 2. I think I have a thing for Robert Downey Jr. I'm okay with this.

A friend and I are booking tickets this week to go and visit another friend down in Houston. Which means, I'm going to Texas y'all. I anticipate this will bring back a strong desire to re-watch all 5 seasons of FNL. I'm also okay with this.

I have really been wanting to go back and watch the entire series of the OC. But I'm a little afraid I'll be tragically disappointed in how bad it is. Like if I just leave those DVD's in their boxes I can go on pretending it was a masterpiece from my past. (plus I mean I did watch the whole thing like a million times back in college. We didn't have cable in our rooms ok?!)

Sometimes I wonder if posting things like this will come back to bite me when a future suitor finds this blog and is all, "woah, woah, woah. What do you mean you've seen the entire OC series more than once. And just what do you mean by 'obsessed' with Friday Night Lights? You use the recumbent bike at the gym? But you only had to walk up three stairs, how did you hit your head so hard? Why do you tell people you talk to your animals so often?"

Good for today, no?

Comfortable.

2012-01-06T14:09:00.003-06:00

I'm on a John Mayer kick lately (why, oh WHY did he have to turn so douchey?!). I have always loved his music, he's an amazing musician - seeing him live nearly blows your mind with how good he is. Plus there's a little nostalgic appeal to him because some of his songs provided the soundtrack to my high school and college years. I still rather vividly remember buying Room for Squares at Best Buy. (Side note: really brain? We can clearly remember that but there's no room for what I was talking about an hour ago?!)

So I'm sitting at my desk streaming my John Mayer station on Pandora (how did people make it through workdays before Pandora?) and the song "Comfortable" came on. First of all, this song breaks my friggin' heart. I can't even tell you. It actually hurts to listen to and if it wasn't so damn good and all romantical and such, I'd turn it off. It's like the most romantic song about a break-up ever. But I totally "get" it.

"Our love was comfortable,
so broken in."

I'm on a little bit of a negative kick about dating. (Unless you ask Kyle, Tori or my mom who I talked to yesterday when I was in a BIG negative pout-rant about dating. They'd probably dispute the "little bit of negative" claim.) I know all you people in relationships* will continue to tell me things like "Isn't it SO exciting that he's just out there somewhere? He could be anywhere?!" or "There's some awesome and super amazing man just WAITING for you!" or one of my other favorites, "You're so lucky to just be out there meeting all these people and going on all these fun dates!"

To which I say this, No it's not exciting. Where the fuck is he? and WHY THE HELL IS HE WAITING?! Finally, Lucky? Is that what we call being able to detail the most boring date in the world? Or how about the one with the married guy?! I get it, it takes time, you just have to wait, it'll happen when it's right, when I'm not looking, yup yup yup. GOT IT. And it's not that I'm DYING without a boyfriend. I actually kind of like the freedom and I love the shit out of living by myself. But dating? Not so much. I don't like it. I think that song is so romantic because I adore being in that kind of relationship. The comfortable place. Where you know the other person, like REALLY know the other person. And naturally, I like any place where you someone appreciates sweatpants.

I will LOVE dating when I'm dating one person. And we've been dating for a few months. And I know about them and their imperfections and their quirks that I think are absolute perfection. When I'm not waiting for the other shoe to drop about some stranger I know approximately 3 facts about. I love the first few dates, first kisses, meeting the friends, the families, etc. That is all beyond exciting and amazing and some of the most magical times in a relationship.

But dating strangers to find one acceptable for a second date with? Quite frankly, it blows a little bit.

*Regardless of how negative I am or what kind of pout-rant I am on, or how much I scream when "you people" say these things to me, I do appreciate them. They make me feel hope and even when I'm pissed off and angry, a little piece of me hopes you're all right!

2012: The year of Angie.

2012-01-05T12:14:00.003-06:00

Okay, maybe that's excessive. But I am feeling quite good about this year. I know people have varying opinions of resolutions and I do believe in setting goals for yourself throughout the year. I think waiting for the start of a new year to set a goal you're most likely going to give up on is setting yourself up for failure. However, because my birthday and the start of the new year have always been so close, it's a total clean slate feeling for me, so I like to reflect on the past year and figure out what kind of changes need to be made for the upcoming one.

Instead of setting one or two large lofty goals for myself I wanted to focus on some habitual changes that I'd like to incorporate over the course of the year. I am eventually going to set some fitness related goals, but since there was a little falling off the wagon happening in December, I'd like to get in the swing of things first and then set up some appropriate physical goals. In the mean time, I'll be going to the gym at least 3 times a week. (So far, so good.)

Originally my plan was to choose 12 habits I either wanted to break or pick up and focus on one each month. They said it takes about 30 days in a row of doing something for it to become a "habit." I was going to spend one month per habit and hopefully at the end of the year be a much improved version of Angie. But, in true Angie form, I couldn't wait. So I have started two habits for the month of January.

1) Make the bed every morning.
This makes me happy. Not in the morning so much when I'm rushing out the door and am trying to make the bed around a 20 pound lump of pug, but when I get home at night and I'm making my way to bed. I LOVE turning down the sheets and snuggling into a made bed. And it just looks nicer too.

2) Wash all dishes before bed each night.
Same idea here. I may not thoroughly enjoy going to bed with all the dishes done, but I can't tell you how happy it makes me to wake up in the morning and have a sink NOT full of dirty dishes. Actually, I can tell you it probably makes me an inappropriate level of happy. Maybe I talked to the animals this morning about how nice it was..maybe.

Here's some of the other habits I'll be working on over the course of the year. Some of them are more profound and impressive than others. (Actually most of them are the "others" but together they'll join forces to make a Super Angie.) This gets long...and it's mostly for me to reference later. I don't expect anyone to really care that I plan on picking flossing back up at some point.

Volunteer at least 3 times a month.
I already have a steady habit of 2-3 times a month since about May of last year, but I want to keep this up and up it to 3 steadily. Given that "volunteering" equals "playing games and play-doh with kids" for me, I think I can handle it.

Floss.
For about 6 months I KILLED it at flossing. Every single night before I went to bed I flossed. Then I bought shitty floss and it all just went to hell. So I'm going to buy new, better floss and pick this one back up.

Hang up clothes / keep closet floor clean.
I have a terrible habit. And if I knew my Dad read this blog I wouldn't even put this on here because he'd be so disappointed. (He actually removed my closet doors in high school because of this terrible habit.) I believe closet doors are there for a reason and that reason is to hide mess. So when I come home at night instead of putting my clothes somewhere, they're for the most part strewn about my closet. Some "hung" in some strange way, others thrown on the floor, some folded on a shelf. The ridiculous part is that I have HUGE closets. With organization things in them. So I have the space and tools to NOT be a closet slob. When I bought my house, my dad pointed out to me how clean the guy kept his closets.

Empty car.
This habit has vastly improved over the years. My dad used to ask every time he got in my car or looked in the trunk, "So where does the transient live?" as if to suggest I had enough shit in my car for a person to actually live there. To be fair, in high school, I actually did. So I don't have nearly as much shit in there now, but I'm guilty of just leaving random stuff in there out of laziness. I brought a different pair of shoes to change into, leave the first pair in there. That coffee mug? Nah, I'll just use a different one tomorrow. Oh THAT'S where that fleece is. Those kind of things. So my plan is to take EVERYTHING that doesn't belong in the car with me each night when I get home.

No snooze button.
Oh god. This one freaks me out. It's likely I'll save this for December because I'm too scared of it. I love my snooze button dearly. I've been known to snooze in 9 minute increments for over an hour. It's stupid and makes me even MORE tired than if I just would get up at the first alarm. I need to break this habit but I don't know how to quit my snooze button. It's a deeply rooted, long lasting love affair.

And that's what I've got for now. There's more that will come up over the course of the year I'm certain. And I've got some other general goals I'll talk about some other time, like "Don't date douchebags."

I'm a work in progress people.

Happy 2012! / Go to hell 2011.

2012-01-03T09:49:00.002-06:00

I have two posts kind of wrestling around in my mind for who gets to go first. Both of which are pretty much the same thing you've read everywhere else. A recap of 2011 and a looking forward for 2012. Except with my own personal twist on them, of course.

Now that 2011 is over I feel like I can finally talk about it without fear of repercussion. And with that confidence, I'd like to say loudly peace the F out 2011. Now before you get all "wow, she obviously doesn't appreciate what she has" on me. Let me explain. 2011 was not BAD. But it wasn't great. I had a TON of awesome things happen in 2011 including the most visits to MN I've ever had, more time with friends and family here than I have ever had and lots of ridiculously fun things happen in general. But I've been desperate for a clean slate. I know you can have one whenever, but there's nothing quite like a new calendar year to get a jump start on it. No matter how many awesome things happened in 2011 it was still the year of the Great Break-up of 2011. The year my life flipped around and changed on me. In general it felt like a year I wasn't really the driver of. I am proud as HELL of myself for what I've done for me. I've busted through that break-up like a champ, pulled myself up by the bootstraps and trucked on through what was left of 2011.

And good things did happen. I went to Vegas and killed it at my first major event I was responsible for. My beloved Packers won the Super Bowl and in doing so became World Champions. I got to watch the Royal Wedding, ridiculously early in the morning with one of my very best friends. Then we threw a Frat party. I spent a weekend in Chicago just me and my mom. I took part in the 8th Annual Summerfest Weekend. I got to see my future husband David Gray AND celebrate a Rodeo in one weekend. I suffered from a pretty serious obsession with FNL and one Tim Riggins. I went to adult summer camp...and lived to tell about it. I accidentally took an African Dance Class. The Brewers went farther into the season then they have since I was born. I got to celebrate Homecoming with my best friends from college. I fell and bonked my head the hardest I ever have. I had an all time high number of Saturdates with Siobhan at the Irish Pub and loved everyone of them. I met new friends, new men and new coworkers. I saw friends get married, engaged and have babies.

So now? I get to have 2012. No great break-up, no ridiculous Ex to have to deal with. Plus, it's an even number and I love even numbers. So given that it's 2012 and I just turned 28 you can imagine how pleased I am with this year so far. Given it's evenness. I get to have repeats of some of my "best ofs" from 2011. And new things from 2012. I'll keep meeting new people, having fun with the ones I've already got.

I am fully prepared to ROCK THE SHIT out of 2012.

Update.

2011-12-21T15:43:00.002-06:00

Aw, remember when I was really good about blogging super often? And then remember how I stopped blogging entirely for a week? Ah, good times, no?

It shouldn't come as a huge surprise but things are a little busy around these parts with it being the MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR. And despite the fact that I still don't see snow on the ground, I'm doing my best to make it feel like Christmas. And it's working. (I still want snow, but I'll survive). Let's do some recaps shall we?

Moving back in time. Yesterday we had a potluck lunch at work. Over 50 people brought various dishes to share. It was insane. My pants are tighter. I found out how many cookies is too many...and then ate three more. I went home and crashed...HELLOOO sugar coma.

On Sunday the fam was together at my parents house. My nephew pretty much blew up my heart with cuteness. He just learned about whispering which alone would be cute enough. But he takes it up a few notches by whispering directly into your mouth instead of your ear. Immediately after I told my brother I was jealous that he gets to live with that little bundle of cute, Jack shared a secret with me (and the rest of the dinner table). He told me that he pooped in the bathtub, that his poop got wet and then Daddy used a shovel to get it out. And he helped. I think I actually died of laughter. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by how awesome he is and I don't know how to deal with it. Heaven help us when I have one of my own.

Last weekend I celebrated my fake birthday. Usually the calendar graciously places a weekend between Christmas and New Year's Eve and I use that weekend to celebrate my birthday. Since most people have to work / are still with family on my actual birth date. This year since Christmas Eve is on a Saturday and then New Year's Eve is on a Saturday I was without said weekend. So instead, I bumped it up a weekend and celebrated early. I rocked a new outfit, had dinner with some lovely ladies (and laughed my ass off) then went to my beloved Irish Pub for drinks. Yes, that's right, the same bar I go nearly every Saturday. I like the familiar, alright?! Some wonderful boys came and met us for some more drinks. Then there were shots. Then some more drinks. Then I fell and skinned my knee. It was a really proud day for me, I definitely felt mature enough to be turning 28 (not.) On Sunday I thought I was suffering from the worst hangover in the world...turns out it wasn't a hangover at all, I'm just sick. Heyo! You're a shady bitch fake birthday.

Last week and the week before Mom & I pulled double time at the Women's Center. We did our usual nights in the child care center. On one of the nights I played Monopoly with two 7 year olds. I'm not even sure I understand how to play that game, let alone explain it to two kids who are just mastering basic math. I made up rules and they seemed to enjoy it. I didn't so much. They want to play again next week.

On top of those nights we also helped them with two different Christmas / Holiday events they had. It was awesome. I am so happy to have found somewhere I support so passionately that allows me to give back and play with kids all at once. I even did some face painting, which I was unaware I was capable of doing. I offered to paint candy canes, they asked for butterflies. And I drew some pretty killer butterflies if I do say so myself. Mom even promised some kid I could do Superman...and then I did. It was a Christmas Miracle.

I've got one more day of work left and then I'm off until 2012. That sounds fantastic. Lots of time with the family, tons of delicious food. Much relaxing planned. I've also requested that I get to take the nephew to see the Chipmunks...because with a 3 year old in tow it's much more acceptable for a 28 year old to be seen in the theater.

She (does not) got game.

2011-12-13T15:59:00.002-06:00

Seriously. It's tragically true.

At various points in the day today I have been conversing through different mediums with a handful of men. Co-workers, friends, gay friends, boys I like, men I like but not like that, etc. A good variety. As my day comes to a close I realized something that shook my little bitty world for a moment.

I'm not entirely certain I'm aware of when I'm flirting and when I'm not. This greatly affects the above referenced "game". See, I know by nature I am a flirty person. Maybe it's not even flirty, maybe it's just loud and friendly. However you want to call it, I like talking to people, I like to engage in conversation with people and I like being nice to people. I LOVE to schmooze (I get it from my mama). But I've learned recently that when it comes time to do this with people I like, people I WANT to be flirting with, I'm all "uhhhhhh...." and "well...kinda...yeah, sure." And just 100% NOT charming. Put me in front of the old guy at work who's kind of like a grandpa but also kind of like a creepy older man hitting on young girls and I'm all, "Hello Mr. So and So, how are you?! Hey did you ever sell your house??" I'm pretty sure a conversation I had today would 110% be interpreted by certain parties as flirting and I actually 110% DID NOT want to be flirting with that person. What gives?!

I mean, really I know what gives. If I don't see a threat from someone I can FLIRT UP A STORM. Seriously! Old guy from work last week was all, "you're always so cheerful and charming!" (which turns out, even from old guy who hits on young girls, was STILL somewhat flattering. Take note young non-creepy men, flattery goes a LONG way.) But I don't care about what he thinks of me! Tall attractive young man at the bar? Cue the "uhhhhs" and fumbling over my words. There goes the charm! So I think what might be happening is that I'm flirting with (and using up what charm and game I do have) on ALL THE WRONG MEN. And, subsequently, giving them all the wrong vibe. (Which is also probably how I end up on dates that I didn't know were dates. Just thinking out loud here. Also, true story.)

And when I think there's any sort of risk involved, I repeat, any risk at all I clam up, don't know what to say. In fact, there's this one guy, from the bar, who kind of swooped in without me realizing it and we were just chatting up a storm like we were friends from way back. Then all of a sudden I was all, "oh wait, he's cute. Wait we're talking and he's cute and what if maybe there's a chance I like him." CLAM UP. FREAK OUT. TURN OFF ALL CHARM.

Perfect plan, no? See also: "why I might be single" and "things to work on."

Bringing it back to 1996.

2011-12-12T11:43:00.002-06:00

In 1994 I was in 4th grade. Which seems next to impossible given that my memory feels like 1994 was like 10 years ago or something. Ridiculous that that was almost 18 years ago. Wowza. And now I feel old as dirt. But, regardless of those 18 years, sometimes it feels like time has stood still. One of those instances is dating. Okay, hold the phone. I know that there are a LOT of ways that dating has changed since I was 10 years old. Duh. But really, how much has actually changed?

In 4th grade you were typically attracted to the boys in your class. Well, here in the real world we don't have class anymore, but is a night at the bar that different? It's a gathering of people roughly your age, all there for the same reasons. Instead of consuming knowledge, it's booze.

When you decided you liked a boy, step 1 was to tell your friend. Still the same. Then you both check him out and talk about him. This process takes a little bit longer in the real world vs. 4th grade but still, pretty much the same. If a friend is not immediately near you, instead of writing a note (and folding it with the precision of an origami master) you send a text, gchat, e-mail, etc. You talk about said boy...to your friends, NOT YET to said boy. (and you thank heaven for gchat sounding boards! Hi Kyle!)

Then, and pay attention because this part is eerily similar, you hope and wish with every fiber of your being that by telling all your friends about him, this message somehow permeates into his brain without you ever actually saying anything to him. In the real world this is you sitting in your chair with your friends, HOPING he can feel you looking at him and hoping he comes over to talk to you. Because how scary is it to go and talk to him?! Let it be known that in my most recent research, it seems the "hes" that are out there single and looking, are doing the same as the "shes". We're all just sitting hoping that some how without every exchanging words, the other person will get the green light we're sending via Morse code with our eyelids and see that we're ready to mingle! (An epic fail on almost all accounts.)

The difference between 1994 and now is the next few steps. Back then, eventually, you'd send a note to him and it was pretty black and white (or pink and white depending on how fancy your pens were). You sent a note and it very plainly laid out, "Do you like me, check yes or no." It was still just as scary as it is today. Sending that note out (usually through a chain of your friends and then his friends) was terrifying. Thankfully it typically took a recess-worth of time and you had your answer. The yes usually meant you'd "go out" (for a week or two) and everyone would know about it by the end of the day. But what's surprising is that the no didn't seem all that traumatic.

In fact, I can hardly remember the times where the answer was no. Likely due in part to the fact that if you were both "single" (cute, 4th graders were "single"), the answer was almost always yes (made okay by the fact that at most you were "going out" for a month, MAX.) But really, if the no's weren't all that bad then, why are they so damn scary now? Obviously in the real world we're hoping the investment of dating someone will pay off for more than a maximum of a month, but when did we become so afraid of putting ourselves out there with a clear question, asking for a yes or no answer. And when did the pressure become so great that it can't just be for one date (the grown-up equivalent of dating for a month in 4th grade)?

In the grand scheme of things what does a "no" really mean? And when did it become so blatantly clear to us that a no directly correlated to our worth or attractiveness? With the passing of these 18 years a lot of experience has been given to us. For most of us, we've dated, lots. We've met, turned down & accepted dates, loved and lost with a number of different people. With this experiences comes knowledge of what we want and what we don't. It also graces upon us a whole set of predisposed opinions, premature judgements and our list of non-negotiables. Unfortunately, that influences our dating.

I had a boyfriend who always wore those beanie caps with the brim. I loved him and then he lied and cheated and broke my heart. Literally looking at that picture made me shudder a little bit (and we're talking shuddering after almost 10 years has passed). Regardless of my adult logic reminding me that not all men who wear that hat are him, I don't know that I would give someone wearing that hat a second glance. That has NOTHING to do with a man's looks, his personality or how great of a boyfriend he would make. I somehow equate that hat with lying and cheating. I always use this example (to myself) about how the no doesn't always reflect upon the receiver of the no. We all have baggage (whether we care to admit it or not) the best we can do is hope to find someone's baggage that fits with ours.

So join me singletons, and let's be a little more straight forward. A little more honest in what (and who) we want. Let's go get it (or them). And for the love of all things holy, let's remember that a no doesn't define us or determine our worth in any way shape or form. As I have in my notes from my new favorite book...

"A woman* is too precious to compromise her good time or her happiness because things haven't gone her way with a man." -Krissy Gasbarre

*Feel free to substitute man and woman, or woman and woman or man and man...you get the idea.

Outside the box.

2011-12-08T14:30:00.002-06:00

In spending the last year with myself and figuring out what it is I want, what makes me happy and who I want to be, I've discovered a lot of lessons. Some of them were big "a-ha" moments where I felt my Earth shake a little bit. Others have been less intense but important nonetheless. Ironically, as I've created a list of non-negotiables with men I'm also creating one for myself. Things I absolutely won't put up with me doing any more. Things I need to be happy that absolutely, positively (and quite frankly) cannot be fucked with by anyone, me included.

The list itself is really only important to me and not something that anyone else needs to read every word of. It's not something I'm even recording or writing down. I understand it's flexible, it'll mold and revise itself as time goes on. But the core values of it will remain the same.

One of these values is to travel outside of my comfort zone. I have admitted (many times on this very blog) my aversion to change. I'm not a big fan of large changes. I love traditions and repetition. Where others mind find this boring and vanilla, I thrive on knowing what's coming next.

However, my whole life can't be one large routine. I can't live in the comfort zone through all of it. My ex-boyfriend used to lightly chastise me for my love of routine. I like to order what I know when I eat a restaurant. I'm not always first in line to try something new. It upset him that I didn't want to try new things all the time. My routines occasionally bothered him. And while I do owe him credit for getting me to try things that I now love (namely Japanese and Indian food), for the most part I still hover around what I love. I do believe there is such a thing as too much time outside the comfort zone.

I don't think someone else can force you to live outside the box of your comfort zone. I think in doing so you end up associating animosity towards the place outside the box. You feel forced and anxious and hesitant. We need to push ourselves outside of what we're comfortable with, and I believe we do, when we're ready...or when life gives us no choice. This is when growth happens and strength is realized. There are sometimes where people in our life help us out a little bit. They see the strength and ability before we do and offer a gentle encouragement.

Last night I attended my favorite yoga class. I enjoy this class and I even look forward to it now. (A big change from yoga experiences of the past.) We were half way through class when Betsy (who had been pushing it a little harder than usual through the first half) said to us, "We're going to try a little circus trick." (This is a big part of why I love this particular yoga class, Betsy is not pretentious. She does not talk about some of the whackadoodle stuff I've heard in other Yoga classes. She says things like "circus tricks". However, she is extremely knowledgeable, explains the benefits of each pose without it sounding like she hit the bong on the way over. No offense, of course.)

The circus trick was hard, most of the class opted for the modified position without even giving it a go. That was my plan too after I tried one trick and failed miserably. But Betsy caught me out of the corner of her eye and came over to cheer me on to try again. She pushed me and helped me figure out what was going wrong. And when I tried again I did it! And then successfully completed three more tries of the circus trick. I felt strong and competent (two things I RARELY feel in yoga.) The challenge was presented and instead of convincing myself I couldn't do it - with Betsy's help - I did it. I thanked her after class for pushing me a little harder. And gave her permission to keep pushing me, although I have to say, it felt so good to accomplish something in Yoga, I might not need her help the next time.

Each time a little baby step like that happens it helps to reaffirm my belief in my abilities, my strength and my confidence. There's a whole lot I can do that I'll never know if I don't give it a try.

The Nice Guys.

2011-12-05T09:30:00.003-06:00

Last week after some lunch time yoga, I stood waiting for the elevator. Not the main elevator but one tucked back in the corner of the building that takes me right back up to where I sit. Rarely do people take this elevator (unless they too sit in the same area). So as the doors open I was first surprised to see someone getting out of it. Then you can imagine my surprise when I realize the person stepping out of it is someone I went to high school with. Not just any someone, but someone I had a relatively large crush on in high school. One of those big crushes, then he crushed back. But I had a boyfriend, then he had a girlfriend. We did this for most of high school. He's married now with two kids. It was so good to see him and I just had this big smile on my face thinking back to the innocent flirting we did throughout high school.

While I had a big crush on him I also (as my mother will remind me) never actually dated him. He was too nice. And in my high school mind, therefore probably too boring. I think what I really liked was the chase. I liked him when I couldn't have him but when I could have actually dated him, I was distracted by the bad boys. They were exciting and so different from what I was.

Even now, years later, I still have to actively remind myself that nice guys are TOTALLY where it's at. Bad boys bring drama and hurt (and usually joblessness). The excitement wears off when you realize you're more mom than girlfriend. Nice guys offer stability, commitment, respect. (I know, I know. I'm generalizing but it's pretty true.) I don't think I view those things as boring anymore. But I will say this, there is such a thing as too nice. (I know my mom is cringing reading those words right now.)

It's true though. Be respectful, be compassionate, be nice. But don't be a pushover. This is where I've found I have a problem with "nice guys" as an adult. You can tell me I'm wonderful (please do, in fact.) But also acknowledge when I'm not wonderful. I don't want someone to just blow smoke up my ass. You can't always think everything someone does is perfect. A partner in a relationship should help make you a better person and in doing so, occasionally they may have to point out a flaw or mistake. I'm okay with that as long as it's a true mistake / flaw and it's expressed in a constructive and least hurtful way possible. (As long as you'll take it in return without throwing a fit.)

And while I'm at it - a little side rant - you can't always be fooled by niceness. It's possible I am almost more comfortable with the bad boys because they're rather comfortable airing out all that dirty laundry (typically to a fault.) There are always those who are "nice". Typically, they come across as almost too nice. For these friends, do a little public records investigation. And as always, I'm happy to share my internet researching skills. In high school and college chances are when you meet someone, you can find someone who knows them to give you the back story or fill you in on them. Now that we're grown-ups in the real world, the chances of this are much more slim. So we have to rely on our good friend Google and CCAP (court records)*.

And while I don't have regrets, because I believe everything happens for a reason and brings you to where you're supposed to be in life, I wouldn't mind going back a few years and telling High School Angie to give some of those nice guys a chance. Or telling College Angie that there's nothing wrong with a normal, sweet man. (They probably don't stand on a roof and pee on your car. Or make up jobs with cable companies. Or live in your house unemployed for months at a a time. Ah, I do need to write a book.) But in the practice of finding the reasons behind why things happen, I do realize this much - they led me here. I've always been a big believer that relationships of your past don't teach you as much about what you do want but more about what you do not want. They help you create your list of non-negotiables. And let me tell you, I'm creating one hell of a non-negotiables list.

*Whenever I see stories on the news about women who married / traveled with these men who have a list a mile long of prior offenses I always think, "Didn't anyone tell them about CCAP?" I do a search before I go on a DATE with a guy, let alone heading to Aruba or down the aisle!

Friday Thoughts

2011-12-02T10:16:00.006-06:00

It's Friday...time for some random spewing from my brain.

1) I'm fairly certain (as I've already publicized on all social media outlets) that I sprained my pinky finger last night while I was sleeping. It felt fine when I went to bed, then I woke up around 2 a.m. and it hurt! I thought maybe I slept on it funny and went back to bed. This morning it's swollen and bruised. I wish this meant I do some crazy sleep exercising in the middle of the night, but I fear it's more likely I thrash a little and didn't know it.

2) I've put together a pretty comprehensive google doc that has my Christmas wish list on it. I like to make it as easy as possible for people to buy me things, so there's links, locations of where to get it and specifics when necessary. My mom likes to buy things people don't even know they need. So basically I'm making a list of a lot of things for my brother to pick one thing from. And for myself, I do love a good list.

3) I just added a case for my iphone to this list. I still can't pick a color (I left it up to the gifter). I have done more research on the case than I have any of my other presents. It's ridiculous how much I've contemplated which phone case I'll like best (including ripping open packages at Target and Best Buy to test them out).

4) This morning as I was getting ready the animals were taking Wrestlemania a little too far. There was yelping and hissing and barking (more than usual). I was in the middle of doing my hair and used the blow dryer to separate the fights. Scenes like this reaffirm my belief that it's going to take a special man to find comfort in this household.

5) I'm still so hung up on Marcel the Shell. It's like a little treat I give myself every week or so. Still laugh til I cry. If you haven't watched it you have no idea what you're missing. Though, do yourself a favor and make sure to watch Part 2. It's even funnier.

6) In the last week I was asked to be a part of two different weddings, this makes me very honored. I was also told I am eloquent and fricken hilarious in response to a post I put up this week. If I can be perceived as eloquent AND fricken hilarious in one post? I feel like I totally nailed it. My co-worker told me I should be a hand model. It's like compliment city up in here, and I'm the Mayor (this week.)

7) My annual review is next week and while I'm really confident in my performance and my boss tells me I do a good job all the time...I still feel like I could pee a little I'm so nervous.

8) Next Friday mom and I are doing Christmas Crafts and Cookies day. Because of this I've ramped up my Pinterest obsession to an all time high. We're going to make this and this and these and these, probably some of these. Annoyed with all the this this and these yet?

9) BTW, I'm sick and tired of hearing Pinterest is stupid. YOU'RE STUPID. Pinterst is freaking genius. It's a virtual bulletin board and if you think it's just for crafts you have no clue. Harsh? Maybe. But for real, it's genius and to insult it is to not understand it. *steps off soap box* (probably a really crafty & adorable DIY soap box I learned how to make on Pinterest. Just sayin'.)

10) Finally, I've saved the best for last. I'd like to take a moment to wish my future husband (or Brother-in-law, seriously have you seen his brothers? I'd be happy just to be Mrs. Rodgers) and best quarterback a girl could ask for Mr. Aaron Rodgers (Aar-bear as I call him) a very happy birthday. What I wouldn't do to give that man a birthday present. (All pictures from my other new obsession the blog titled "Fuck Yeah Aaron Rodgers".)

An American Man

2011-12-01T09:49:00.005-06:00

I already told you guys about the book "How to Love an American Man" in Monday's post.

Now my mom is reading the book and it's like I'm reliving it all over again when we talk about it. (FYI she cried through the beginning too - so it's possible it's actually that emotional of a beginning. That or I'm DEFINITELY her daughter and, as we agreed last night, neither of us has a solid grip on our ability to control tears.) I could go on and on about the book, but really you just need to read it. What I will go on about it the lessons it's struck in me and the things I'm noticing I think / observe since reading it. (Which, if you ask me, is truly the sign of a good book. One that sticks with you long after you've read the last words.)

Age = wisdom.
So often I think we're quick to disregard older generations. It's all "back in my day" and what do they know about today's world? They know a ton. They've LIVED in today's world AND yesterday's world. And they have lessons upon lessons of things they've experienced, learned, created, maintained, etc. We should be soaking up every little bit of knowledge they have. When my grandma passed away, her sister - my great Aunt Char - promised me she'd be my stand-in Grandma (since she was the last of my grandparents to pass). Occasionally I've sent cards for holidays and birthdays but I have absolutely fallen short in taking her up on this offer.

Since I read the book I've sent her 2 cards and plan to write (actually write with pen and paper) letters to her weekly. I want know everything she's learned about love and life and what it takes to be truly happy - because that woman knows happy. It shouldn't have taken a book to spark this conversation with her, but I'm glad it did.

True American Men are Rare
Obviously men from America are not rare. They're all over the damn place. But an American Man in the sense that the book describes is a rare being. Men who are passionate and respectful. Men who devote themselves to their family and their work. But the underlying message of this book doesn't place full responsibility on the man. They're rare because us ladies have let them be rare. One of my absolute favorite lines from the book is, "I teach the world how to treat me by the way I treat myself, and the way I present myself." As much as expectations are set for men to be passionate and respectful, we are equally responsible for establishing how they perceive us. If you can't treat yourself well or have respect for your character, why should they?

And of course while this sounds super serious and "high level" she references some examples...and let's just say we're likely all a bit guilty. Wasted on a first date? (Or drunk upon first meeting? We're not in college anymore, Toto.) Whoopsies. It's intimidating and daunting to think about at first. Seems like a lot of work - but you can't expect it without it being mutual - to both yourself and to each other. I know it's a little rainbows and butterflies (and seemingly kind of impossible) but even if it's not perfect, working towards it is definitely something.

And now to lighten the mood...because if my dating escapades are for nothing else but entertainment at least I've found my silver lining.

Ways to NOT be an American Man (aka ways to not get a second date):

How about you don't mention sex on the first date? Not expecting it or about US having sex, how long it's been since you've had sex..just don't say the word sex. AT ALL. Even if it's ALL you think about, don't use the s-word. Talk about literally anything else.
If I have a super busy week and can't hang out with you when you've asked, deal. I like to be busy, also I'm an obsessive compulsive planner - asking me the day of to do something? Likely not going to work out. Also, saying things like, "boy you better be worth all this work" will likely not come across as cute and joking like you may have intended.
I promise to work on acting more like a lady if you promise to treat me more like a lady. Ladies love a gentleman. I don't care what we've done with the woman's movement, we still like being treated like a little lady. Yes, we're all happy we can vote, but it doesn't mean you need to entirely abandon opening doors. We'll be flattered, I promise.
This one might be a little controversial...but it's my blog so it's my preferences that win. On the first date, I will always offer to pay - because I think I'm supposed to. Don't let me. No, in fact, insist I don't pay. I'll gladly pick up the bill for date #2 but on the first one, just pay for me. It's romantic and gentlemanly. Also, it shows me you probably have a job. (One of the few absolutes of men I date moving forward.)
Discussing how we'll pay the bill BEFORE THE DATE EVEN HAPPENS. I don't need you to be loaded, I can pay for my own dinner (though seriously, just buy the first meal, it'll get you a whole lot closer to a second date - see #4). But if you need to establish we'll be splitting the bill before we've established where the meal will be had? There will be no meal to split.
Show up on time. Maybe you've never heard it before, but you only get one chance to make a first impression. If you have a really great excuse, share it. If not, be on time. Maybe even be early.
Here's another one that might just be me...pick the place. Maybe even have reservations if it's a notoriously busy place. Trust me, if we move on past date #1 I will become very vocal about where I want to go, when I want to go, etc. So for the first date, take charge and pick somewhere.
When you do pick somewhere, make it somewhere nice. Not expensive, nice. Somewhere I haven't been three hundred times. Somewhere that does not have signs or language on the menu regarding which day of the week kids eat free. Maybe even somewhere I couldn't find in an airport. (That takes care of Chili's, T.G.I.Friday's and Applebee's...FYI.) Once again, I have nothing wrong with these places for dates #10, 11 or 12. We'll certainly hit them up at some point if we make it past #1. But make an impression. Extra points for somewhere with cloth napkins..just sayin'.

Maybe I'm being an asshole (it's always a possibility). Maybe I'm being difficult or high maintenance or whatever word you want to put on a girl demanding a little wow factor. I'm okay with that. But know this much - if it's our first date I have agonized over it. I've spent hours figuring out what outfit to wear...and then probably dollars on buying a new one. I've changed clothes multiple times, asked opinions on shoes and jewelery. I've probably spent more time on my hair and make-up than you did getting ready, driving to the place and eating. Not because I'm materialistic or high maintenance but I want to have meticulously crafted what I hope to be the best first impression I can for you. Because at some point, that first date will become "the story of our first date" and I'm going to be damn sure whoever "he" is (the "he" in that first date story) remembers just how special and amazing it was.

Christmas at the Zoo.

2011-11-29T10:20:00.005-06:00

I decorated my house for Christmas this past weekend. It is by intention that my Christmas tree is coordinated as much as it is. It's my adult tree. When you have kids you have to have a tree with all their "cute" art projects on it. Until then, I get a grown-up tree. It's most likely by subconscious but constant love for the U that three's color scheme is maroon and gold.

Now all I want to do is be in my living room / kitchen. Also, I've deemed this holiday season Christmas at the Zoo. I tweeted about a hundred things about the pets and their reactions to the decoration. Kitten likes to investigate the tree. She sniffs the branches so close to her little nose it makes her sneeze. Then I giggle because it's the cutest sneeze you've ever heard. Then Bella decides she's guard of the tree and chases Gracie out from under it. At one point Gracie got 1/3 of the way up the tree. The guard went crazy. No ornaments were broken...that's because I knew enough from last year and didn't place any breakable ornaments anywhere on the lower half of the tree. This lesson was learned the hard way last year during Gracie's first Christmas. The time I saw the tree moving a little bit, walked over to it and at EYE LEVEL saw two beady little eyes staring back at me. The time I pulled a kitten out from the middle of a Christmas tree.

Gracie wants to be by the tree at all times. This conflicts with her desire to be at my side at all times. So anytime I'm upstairs, she meows until we go downstairs and she can be by me and Bella AND the tree. She sleeps under it, runs around the bottom of it, sniffs it and bats at the ornaments until I yell at her. No matter where she is, when Bella hears me yell at her, she runs at full speed towards the tree barking at Gracie. (Which is more nerve wracking than Gracie playing with the tree. If you've ever seen Bella run at full force, she's not the most graceful creature and often resembles a bull in a china shop.)

If you look through the pictures on my phone you'll notice something (non-Christmas related) I'm mildly obsessed with. Trying to take a picture of the zoo mates snuggling. Ever since the kitten joined the family (over a year ago now!) I was totally in love with the idea of her and Bella being best friends and snuggling. They are not best friends, though I think that they pretend to dislike each other more than they actually do. They love playing Wrestlemania together. But any time they're even remotely close to snuggling, I try to take a picture (so I can pretend like they do it all the time.) Here's the closest they've come...multiple body parts were touching. It happened kind of by accident because Gracie was laying on me and when I moved she slid down and landed on Bella, both of them too damn tired to care.

Seriously. Could these two be any cuter? And also, it doesn't look like that close but in person they were TOUCHING.

And because I'm also all about proving how crazy my pets are (through no fault of my own). Here's the outtake of the snuggle picture. Notice the look of fear in Bella's eyes. It's like she can sense lasers.

**Look Sukie, pictures!

How to Love an American Man.

2011-11-28T09:28:00.004-06:00

There are no words to convince you how wonderful this book is. I can't even begin to tell you how engrossed in it I was. I started it on Friday morning and by Sunday morning I had read through every page. I have a list of little nuggets of advice and wisdom that I scribbled down as I was reading. It's the best book I can remember reading...ever.

Originally suggested to me by Jenna the minute I read the description I knew I had to have it. With the extra time off and relaxation in store for Thanksgiving weekend I convinced my mom to give me her Kindle since I knew she'd want to read this after me. This book is inspiring on a number of levels. The author paints so vividly a picture of what so many people feel and suffer from when they're trying to figure it all out. It reminds you of where you need to be before you can depend on others. The wisdom and experience of generations before us. And above all else, what you truly need to be happy.

When I started this book I was sitting in a Starbucks on Black Friday. Curled up in the very back of the store I was ready to dive in. However, (as you saw via my tweets on Friday morning) I had to read a couple of pages, then set it down. Gather myself and then start again. This happened a few times. The first chapter was so touching I was in tears within PAGES of the start. The poor little boy sitting next to me with his Gameboy was probably terrified of the sad lady in the corner.

Here's the book description from Amazon:

An endearing and unforgettable memoir of love, self-discovery, and enduring, old-fashioned values

Kristine Gasbarre made a New York career of dating driven, inaccessible men. When she realizes her love life will never result in happiness if she continues on the same path, she makes a big decision—relocating to Italy to discover her roots and find out what defines her adoring grandpa. But upon receiving the news of his sudden passing, she is lured away.

With nowhere left to go, Krissy returns to her small hometown for the first time in a decade to help care for her grandmother—a refined, private matriarch suffering from early dementia along with the loss of her husband. In her reluctant agreement to share the nearly lost love stories and transformative lessons from her rich sixty-year marriage, Krissy’s grandma becomes the one offering comfort as she coaches her granddaughter through the fear of loving. Grandma’s unapologetic femininity and secret giving spirit opens Krissy’s eyes about relationships, teaching her the single most important requisite for loving a man: first a woman has to learn the power of her own inner beauty.

As I mentioned, I have a list of snippets from this book, that I will review probably daily for a while...and while I don't want to post them all (because I just KNOW you're all going to read the book), some of my very favorite are below:

"Relationships aren't just a blessing, they're a necessity. The trials of the individual are never enough reason not to love."

"A woman is too precious to compromise her good time or her happiness because things haven't gone her way with a man."

"A partner should make us want to improve ourselves constantly, and urge us to maximize what we contribute to the world."

If you're looking for something to add to your Christmas list, or a heart warming story to curl up next to the Christmas tree with - I have to insist you add this to your must buy list. You won't regret it!

Long time, no talk.

2011-11-23T09:06:00.002-06:00

Been a while. Things have been busy but I've got some time this morning to catch you all up on my life. There were strong intentions of making this one cohesive thought. Then I didn't.

Last week my family and I went to see the Avett Brothers for my mom's birthday. Yes, please read that sentence again and let it sink it. It helps in making you realize how seriously awesome my family is. It was the first time the Nikolas Nucleus (Nikleus?) has been together in a while. As much as I love when other people get to join us (especially when said people are under 3' tall), sometimes it's nice to just be the 4 of us. The show was amazing. They played almost ALL of my favorite songs, introduced me to new ones that I'm now in love with, and had a KILLER opening band that I actually enjoyed! And, even though I found out yesterday that they covered "Angie" by the Rolling Stones at Saturday's show, I'm still happy I was at the Friday show. We all enjoyed it, it was awesome. I got to sit next to my brother and he had me roaring in laughter for the whole damn thing. It was as pretty close to perfect as it gets.

This week I have a ridiculously fun social life. I haven't eaten a meal alone since last week Thursday and it looks like that won't be happening until next week. That is amazing. I've had dinners with friends, lunches with coworkers, a great lunch with a new friend, dinners with out of town friends, and a few in there with the above mentioned awesome family. It's been amazing, my sleep is suffering but it's totally worth it. The only friend I haven't been frequently seeing is my good old friend, Gym. I fell off that wagon HARD this week, I'll be snuggling up close with Gym next week. I miss you Gym.

Yesterday my co-worker told me, "I love sitting next to you because you're always so happy and cheerful." This is one of the best compliments I can get. Made my entire day. He also calls me dear and I enjoy that too.

Knowing strangers read your blog is weird. I understand that's the whole point, and that inevitably when you put something out on the interweb, someone might read it. But for the last 3(ish) years, I've been pretty convinced it was my mom, my MN friends and Siobhan who were reading this...now that I know, I feel like maybe I shouldn't say fuck so much? Perhaps tone down the crazy cat lady? Stop sharing escapades of falling and hitting my head because I was wearing high heels? Then again, those original readers who knew me in person first know it's highly unlikely somehow at 28 I'll develop a censor or filter on my thoughts I share. And seriously, while I can control the f bombs when necessary (when grandmas or small children are present) it's also unlikely that's going anywhere either.

Hope y'all have a fantastic Thanksgiving celebration. Hug your friends, tell your family you love them, eat more than you should, nap longer than necessary and enjoy the time spent thinking about what you're thankful for. As much as this is not at all where I thought life would take me, I have thought many times over the last few months at how ridiculously blessed I am. There is more love in my life than most people ever get to experience. I've got amazing friends, an incredible family and two of the cutest damn furkids you've ever seen in your life in a house that I get to call mine. A house I get to go to after a job I really enjoy doing. There's so much I'm thankful for sometimes I think it's not fair. But I'll take all these blessings I've got, be thankful for them every chance I can and give back whenever the opportunity presents itself.

And of course, thanks to you all for reading about my sometimes ridiculous, sometimes boring life through my random thoughts and posts. It warms my heart to know people are entertained by it all.

Smell the roses.

2011-11-18T13:05:00.002-06:00

Sometimes, when you get all caught up in life and focus on all the wrong things it can be overwhelming and down right exhausting. Other times you just have your period and blow everything out of proportion - that is also exhausting.

Whatever it may be, life has this way about it. A way of slapping you right across the face with good stuff and great people and all of a sudden you're totally reminded to stop and enjoy it. I've been slapped, hard. I know I wasn't super upset about anything but I was in a little bit of a funk, during what I called the perfect storm. The funk has cleared. For many reasons, some of which I'm going to share. Others I'm going to keep to myself. (Well Mom & Kyle also get to know because they're gchat all-stars who brighten my day with random comments and stories. Lucky them.)

There are 10, TEN Christmas trees currently being put up around our office today. And lights and garland and bows. HELL YES. Christmas is here.
I drank last night and feel like a million bucks this morning - hangovers be warned, I'm beginning to outsmart you!
We're almost to Thanksgiving which means, Christmas is almost here!
Tonight I get to go see the Avett Brothers with my family. That's how cool we are. Jealous?
It's been a LONG time since just the nucleus fam got to spend time together - looking forward to the original 4 hanging out.
Then after I get done seeing an awesome show with my fam, I'm going to have some really awesome visitors from MN waiting for me at my house!
Tomorrow I get to hang out with the MN visitors, take my nephew to Happy Feet 2, go celebrate the last few days of singlehood of a friend, and then spend even MORE time with those MN friends.
I am working on an awesome project at work. It's all new stuff, I feel like a total rock star for being able to figure out so much stuff I've never worked on before. It's a huge campaign and I am literally doing flips inside for how excited I am that I get to work on it.
My boss and I have hit this total stride where we're getting each other, getting along and really at a great place. It's awesome.
Christmas is almost here! (Did I mention that?)
I tried out a sweet new color at my pedicure last weekend and I'm STILL loving it each time I see it. (It's the little things people!)
Next to Normal is coming to Milwaukee. Mom & I saw this in Chicago and I loved it. I'm dying to see it again.
Someone, a stranger who doesn't know me and isn't my mom, read my blog and complimented me on it. It entirely made my day. (Not that I don't love when people who DO know me tell me they like it! But you all already know my style.)
My brother made me laugh so hard today on the phone at work I had people concerned about my ability to breath. We were talking about windbreakers.

Looking forward to riding this wave of goodness right on through the weekend. Happy Friday y'all - have a good one.

Random Thoughts (Again).

2011-11-17T10:31:00.003-06:00

The number of random thoughts posts I do should give a pretty good indication of how often I have cohesive thoughts vs. how often my brain is randomly shouting out things. I had a moment with my mom last weekend where I asked / stated about 5 things in a row, answered my own question and changed the subject. All in about 30 seconds. And followed it up with, "you'd be amazed how often that exact sequence happens in my head on a daily basis." It's true - and sometimes it happens out loud via this blog. You're welcome.

Even with a reduction, there are still things that my boobs are too big for. Button down shirts are hit or miss depending on fit and where their from. I found a couple at Target that I thought worked. Until I realized AFTER wearing it all day at work, I was offering a little between the buttons peep show directly into my cleavage. This morning I thought I fixed it with double sided tape. Lesson learned: The pull of my boobs is stronger than double sided tape. Creepy male co-workers, you're welcome.

I might be the crazy girl at work. I've been using my headphones a lot more lately - helps me truck on through work. However, no one has any idea what's happening in these headphones of mine. I love using the quick mix station on Pandora. However this leads to some REALLY random mixing. Here are some of my stations: Broadway, Tupac, Christmas (there's 2 of those actually), Adele, Jason Aldean, etc.This leads to utter ridiculousness as I go from Kenny Chesney to Mariah Carey to Tupac to music from Rent. And it is next to impossible for me to listen to music without at the very least mouthing the words (at most all out dance party - seriously, check me out when listening to Bieber. It's borderline sick.) So I'm sure I look super cool at my desk. Also, I discovered this today - which has had me literally LOL-ing in my cube at some of the things Ryan Gosseling says ("Hey Girl, I'm still LOLing over that cat video you sent me." I died.)

Last night my nephew and I talked about Target at least 5 times over the course of dinner. He informed me we could get Christmas movies there, Santa gets his toys from there and also asked if I got my new phone at Target. Seriously, I'm imparting my love on this kid. I beam with pride that he wants to talk Target with me.

Instead of dragging my vacuum downstairs last night, I used the handheld vacuum. On the ENTIRE first floor. That's irrational to think it was less work.

I realized yesterday it's been 9 months since the Great Breakup of 2011. Sometimes time flies. Also, in high school whenever anything happened for 9 months my friends and I would say, "you could have had a baby in that time." I'm pretty happy that much time has passed. And that I did NOT have a baby.

I'm trying to teach my nephew that a picture of Clay Matthews on my phone is "Angie's boyfriend." So there's that.

I have friends coming to stay with me this weekend. Last night when I went to assess the current clean situation of the house I realized it's in pretty good shape. This realization led to two others. 1) I'm pretty much a grown-up now given that my house is clean more often than needing to be cleaned. 2) Living by yourself makes it 50% easier to keep the house clean. Also I really only use 3 rooms in my house that has 7. (1 bathroom, kitchen & bedroom.)

I informed my brother last night of my theory that dating sounds like SO much work. And that I kind of like NOT dating. He agreed and reinforced the theory. Related: we might be those weird siblings who live together at like 40 with no significant others. At least we'll have the nephew for entertainment.

I heard on the radio this morning that there's a scene at the end of Breaking Dawn Part I AFTER the credits and that if you go to see it you HAVE to stay for that scene. I've never seen a Twilight movie and have no intention of seeing this one. But for some reason I am feeling strongly compelled to spread this message and have some pretty serious concern that a lot of people are going to miss it. Another irrational thought.

The Zoo.

2011-11-16T15:53:00.004-06:00

I'm watching my parents' dog for a few days this week. Which in case your keeping track - means the 4 legged creatures are currently outnumbering me 3:1. And the pugs have an even stance against kitty and I (my parents also have a pug).

I had some theories on how this would go but I was most curious to see if it would be Pugs vs. Kitten or Insiders vs. Outsider. Turns out, no one is teaming up and they're all just assholes against each other. This comes as very little surprise to me as I'm quite familiar with the fact that both my dog and my kitten are assholes on their own.

So the entire time I'm home with the three of them it goes something like this. Bella spends all her energy on getting all animals riled up and boxing out Lucy. No matter where Lucy wants to go or have, Bella boxes her out. And because she stands a good 5" over Lucy, she can do that. Gracie has only hissed at one thing the entire time I've known her, Lucy. Let it be known Lucy is NOT a threat to Gracie. If she can kick Bella's ass, she can TOTALLY take on Lucy. Any time Lucy gets within a 2 foot radius of Gracie, she's arches her back and hisses until Lucy runs away scared. Seeing the asshole trend yet?

When I got home last night I tried to figure out how we were going to go potty. I thought perhaps I could put Bella on her leash and Lucy could just go free. We tried that. Lucy was afraid to climb down the two steps on the deck and Bella was pissed she was on a leash. Also, this is random, there were some kids out playing some sort of makeshift laser tag dressed like ninjas (you can't make this shit up). Bella kept barking at them, which made them a little scared so they all just stopped and stood still. And no matter how many times I told myself they were just kids with fancy flashlights...it freaked me out! (They were DRESSED LIKE NINJAS. I know enough not to fuck with ninjas...even small ones. And what if they weren't just flashlights?!) So then I took Bella around front and guess who was there - THE NINJAS. This time I could see them in the light though...and they were in fact small children with fancy flashlights. Bella eventually peed, brought her back inside, took Lucy out - she freaked. Brought her back in, put her on a leash, she peed. SUCCESS.

Much to my surprise last night, we were all able to find a spot on the bed, relax and actually get some sleep. (After much whining, chasing, biting and wrestling. Them, not me. Okay, I probably whined a little.)

It totally threw off my morning routine. But it doesn't take much to do that. I have a VERY meticulous morning routine that I do the same damn near every single morning. It's in the same order and the same things happen. So throwing in one more temporary furkid to the mix is enough to change things up.

All things considered, it went better than I anticipated. Lucy has adjusted to being on a leash to go outside. Bella has gotten over the fact that she's on a leash around Lucy. (They're typically only together at my parents and because they have a large fenced in yard, they're never leashed and have free reign). Bella responds to the command "potty". Lucy responds to "tink". So you can picture me, this morning with my pugs on leashes (Bella boxing out, Lucy panting heavily) repeating over and over and over, "Lucy, Tink. Bella, Potty." And then a lot of "No, leave her alone. You go over there. Don't get tangled. STOP following her. Let her pee!" Thankfully, this morning I didn't have any neighbor interactions - or they definitely would have labeled me "over the edge." (And probably also, "single for life" by the addition of yet another animal.)

Each time I get home, my mom calls to ask if there's still three animals there. I think we're only half joking.

You can't make everybody happy.

2011-11-14T09:29:00.002-06:00

I'm working on this. By no means am I pulling a humblebrag and claiming to be a total people pleaser who is just always trying to make others happy. I'm not. But sometimes I think everyone has those times where they're a little wrapped up in people pleasing and forget about number one. Because no matter what type of person you are, you should always remember you are the ONLY person who is solely responsible for putting you first. Not in a selfish way, but in a look out for yourself kind of way. It's a fine line, I fully admit. And I know that at some point in my life, I'll have kids and then I'll be responsible for their happiness...but for now, it's just me (well, me and a cat and a dog. But trust me, those two are PLENTY happy.)

When I went through the Great Breakup of 2011 and felt like the Ex (and some of his family) were going batshit crazy I kept reminding myself the following: Your actions and emotions are the only ones you can control. You can try with all your might to control other people, and sometimes you might even get to for a little bit, but at the end of the day the only person you can fully control is yourself.

Sometimes situations are out of your control. People will react how then want, when they want. You can't make everybody happy. And if you're emotions and actions are the only ones you can control, then you need to do what is best for you, right? Now obviously, I understand there is some small print associated with this theory. You should look out for yourself and make yourself happy first as long as it's not causing harm or severe hurt towards anyone else (or their emotions). You can't constantly only make yourself happy because eventually the people in your life will think you're an asshole and eventually part ways with you.

The best part about this is that the people who really truly matter, the ones who care with every fiber of their being, WANT this for you. They want you to be happy. They understand what you want and need might not be what they think you want / need. But they support you and whatever it takes to make you the happiest you you can be. And those people? They're the ones whose thoughts and opinions truly matter. Thankfully, I have a shitload of these people in my life.

I guess my point of this somewhat scattered rant is that I'm growing tired of worrying about how someone else might feel to the point that I forget about how I might feel. I need to make Angie happy. This could legitimately be the last long period of time where I'm a single entity. I don't have roommates to be concerned about, a boyfriend's plans to take into consideration or a kid to alter what I need / want. It's just Angie.

The Perfect Storm.

2011-11-11T14:51:00.002-06:00

I mentioned on Twitter earlier today that I've got this post that's been haunting me all week. I wrote it, rewrote it, broke it into pieces, reworked it, put it back together...no matter what I do with it, I don't like it enough to publish it. I believe that's because in the back of my head I keep reminding myself what I've been reminding myself ALL WEEK LONG.

"You have your period. You're funking from getting back from MN (happens every time). It's the perfect storm of crazy emotions. DO NOT make any major decisions or public statements of opinion."

So I'm not publishing that post (but as Kyle pointed out, I've put it down and let it out - even if y'all never get to read it - and that made me feel better.)

So instead you're getting sort of a random stream of consciousness.

A Twitter friend suggested letting my twitter followers suggest some words I need to weave into a post. So I did. So far I have carpetbagger and zombies (that's going to be a promising post).
I made a new friend at work (who's NOT on my immediate team) and we're going out to Happy Hour next week. For some reason this makes me feel substantially more grown-up than it should. (I own a home...happy hour with a new work friend should not be the definition of a grown up. Related: My mind is an interesting place.)
I've cried more times than appropriate (even for me) this week. I've got all sorts of crazy running around in this body. I blame the period (sorry any male readers, I said the "p-word" twice now), head trauma and dog fight. That's too much for one week. Oh and Parenthood and Grey's Anatomy. Damn those shows, damn them right to hell. (But seriously? The birthday cards on Parenthood? I died.)
I've been listening to Christmas music all week and I'm considering making this a year long "thing." You cannot be in a bad mood when you hear Christmas music. Just try it. (P.S. If you can be in a bad mood, you're the grinch. Just FYI.)
Three different holiday related volunteer opportunities came in this week and I said a resounding YES to all of them. I'm beyond excited. AND, I get to do all 3 of them with my mom :)
One of them is this event. This will be something like my 11th year doing it. I'm beyond excited. I could cry just thinking about it. (Seriously, I have a leak or something.)
I found an extra vacation day today! I thought I used 'em all up but I didn't!
I will be off more days than I'll be working in December. Does anyone still wonder why I love December so much?!
Mom just gchatted me to tell me radio stations started playing xmas music...and there was a lot of !!! after it. Am I her daughter or what? Then she said my dad is the only man she knows who rushes into Christmas as much as she does. No questions of adoption around these parts.
My nephew says, "Let's bounce" when he's ready to leave somewhere. He's 3.
Kyle told me today he has been checking for a new post daily this week. And then I died via flattery.
Last night I came the closest I ever have to dying due to cuteness. The kitten and pup really turned it up last night and I almost couldn't stand it. (Related: this could be why I'll be single forever.)

That's probably a long enough visit to my brain for a Friday afternoon. Oh! And feel free to put suggestions in the comments of this post for things you'd like me to weave into future posts. Or post suggestions in general. If you don't, it's likely you're going to continue hearing about my petting zoo.

Disclaimer: I had no idea (until reading this whole post to proof it) how many times I say "seriously" and site reasons I've "died"...which in this post were apparently from cuteness, flattery and sad situations on a TV. Yup, I've got a good, solid grip on reality!

The one where I bonked my head.

2011-11-09T08:07:00.004-06:00

I shortened up that working title a little bit. It's the same idea really. (Also, sorry for the back to back novels...I'll write shorter posts soon.)

Last weekend I headed up to Minneapolis for my 6th trip to Minneapolis this year. It was one of my best friend's b-days and since in the past few years I have never gotten to celebrate with her, it just made sense to head up there to celebrate ringing in her 27th year! The best part was we surprised her with another guest she didn't expect! Amy flew in from Alaska and we totally planned the best surprise ever (over beers and fajitas...which is how we ended up with 5 different versions before we got to the right one.) It worked, she was totally surprised. She cried, then I did. (Who's shocked?) We spent Friday at Sukie's house drinking wine and having appetizers. (Thankfully Danielle brought the conceptualization of taco dip, or as we're now calling it Danielle Dip). Surprisingly, given this was our "low key" night of the weekend there was a number of spills and one shattered wine glass. As Sukie put it, it was just like being back in the sorority house (except with 16 bottles of wine). Eight sorority girls on one couch (not meant for 8) all talking over each other and laughing uncontrollably. It was just perfect.

Saturday we woke up for Spin class (read that again, it's worth reading twice). It felt really good to start the day that way and extra fun to get to work out with friends! I'm used to doing all my stuff here by myself so it was fun to have friends to go with! Followed that up with a little Chipotle and shopping. All in preparation for Sae's Birthday Extravaganza!

We met for dinner at Pairings. Because Sae is so lovable we had a group large enough to reserve the party room and it was literally the perfect place for a group dinner. The restaurant has a great concept. You order your food, then you can go to the attached wine store and they'll recommend which bottle will match your food best. Beyond having a room we could fill and be loud and obnoxious in (without disturbing the peace of other diners), because you order your food at a counter there is no figuring out the bill at the end of dinner! BEST PART EVER. And I had macaroni and cheese so of course it was good.

Following dinner we made our way to Pyscho Suzi's were there were drinks on fire and tiki decorations galore. Joe and I developed the Wisconsin Hand Hug, Jeremy tried to take it down with the Minnesota Mummy. This is where the recap of the weekend moves from cohesive activities to the little blips I can remember (things moved quickly). We moved to Gasthof's. Which apparently plays polka music until midnight and then switches over to hip hop.

Sae snuck us a ride. We tried to give directions in Spanish. Instead of sharing a mixed drink (made from 13 different bottles) that's served in a mug larger than I'd order a beer in Danielle and I drank our own. There were enough straws in it for a soccer team to share. Eventually our arms got tired and we raced to finish what we could of the last 1/3. (It was as good of a decision as you're imagining.) We did the Cupid Shuffle. I made friends with a Security Guard and told him it was okay for him to use his size. Sae snuck another ride. We lost Amy & Jer. We found Jer and lost Amy. We managed to get back to Sukie's house with 5 in the car and 4 in the trunk.

And then...because I'm me (and because I'm my mother's daughter), I fell. It happened quick and I can honestly say it wasn't because I had been drinking. I was wearing heels (which for me, on stairs, is more dangerous than alcohol). I had a few bags in my hands, made it to the top of the stairs, lost my footing and then went backwards...and the first thing to hit the sidewalk was my head. My biggest concern though was that I had to pee so bad I was 99% sure if I didn't immediately get up and pee I'd do it right there in front of EVERYONE. Thankfully my friends care more about thinks like being paralyzed than peeing in your pants so they made me stay still and no one could touch me until Jeremy (1/2 of my major medical team) checked me out and ok'd me to get up and pee.

My major medical team. That is my puke bucket on Jeremy's head, you know, in case you were wondering.

I happen to be the luckiest girl in the world because I had not one but TWO certified medical professionals at the after bar with me who literally sat with me for hours making sure I wasn't concussed or dying. And beyond being helpful they were entertaining and provided fantastic security from those who were...less helpful. Jammer did come and perform some bedside tweets for me which I greatly appreciated. #getbonked #concussedquotes

Major Medical Team congratulating each other on saving the patient.

Sunday morning we woke up and naturally ended up at Perkins (seriously, it was college). Following our breakfast (and Booth Bieber Dance Party), Amy and I got on the road to head home. Thankfully, once again she was my hero and drove the ENTIRE way home. Seriously made my life by doing it.

So that was my weekend. I still have a little bit of a headache, but as Jeremy informed me a number of times on Saturday night, "You'll have that when you hit your head on cement." So there's that. I have the best friends in the whole world. We have so much damn fun. Another great weekend goes into the books.

Kyle, you're welcome, it's a novel and I didn't split it up into multiple posts. :)

I also need to welcome my newest fan, Danielle, who was a big part of this weekend. And we also decided we're glad we get to be friends now.

He's really friendly.

2011-11-08T09:58:00.003-06:00

I do plan on doing a little recap post of this past weekend (working title: That time I kicked off the after bar by falling down the stairs and bonking my head), but this just happened last night and I'm still worked up about it so I'm blogging this now and will sneak in the weekend recap later.

A few things shall be made clear before I even start telling the story.

1) I like my dog more than some people enjoy people. My brother has expressed semi-serious concern that I may like my dog more than future kids I have.

2) I hate having to take the dog out for the "right before we go to bed potty break." It's dark, and now it's cold, and I create all sorts of scary things that live in the swamp across the street. So there's that. (I've almost retrained my brain though, because now I look for airplanes. My neighbors may all think I'm crazy as I stare at the night sky while the dog finds her perfect pee spot, but it distracts me from thinking about the swamp thing.)

So last night, I actually woke myself up, got out of bed and went to take Bella out. I muttered under my breath as I found shoes, zipped up my jacket and got her to stop moving long enough to get a leash on her. And we made our way outside. It was strange from the start. There was some asshole screaming fuck from his deck and then howling like a wolf. (followed by some drunk chick LOUDLY shushing him. Why is there always a drunk chick with the asshole?!) So I was weirded out from the start.

Then comes along crazy neighbor. This woman is legitimately bat shit crazy. Like, see it in her eyes, walk to the other side of the street (if you don't straight up turn around for fear of having to talk to her and hear her crazy lady babbling) kind of crazy. I avoid her like the plague. So you can imagine my excitement as I see her being dragged by a pit bull who weighed slightly less than me and screaming, "he's really friendly!" Bullshit. He's not friendly, you're saying that to try to mitigate the straight up FEAR in my eyes as he's barreling towards my dog...who is roughly the size of his head. So "Sargent" comes straight towards Bella and before I can pick her up their leashes are tangled and he's attacking her. (Should have just risked the pee on the carpet and went back to sleep.)

I finally said screw the damn leash and went in to grab Bella. (Having no fear of Sargent and his gnarly growl and bite). Bella*, who has no freaking clue of how small she is or the fact that the 5 teeth she still has are rounded and cause very little damage, if any (ask the cat) is trying to fight back the ENTIRE time I'm trying to grab her out of Sarge's mouth. All while screaming "HE'S BITING HER! HE'S BITING HER!" and kicking him in the chest. Not hard of course, but enough to get him to release my dog's leg from his mouth, where he's gnawing like it's a damn chicken wing! Crazy neighbor lady finally has to THROW HER ENTIRE BODY on top of him to get him to release Bella.

At this point I'm not sure who's more scared, me or Bella. We literally sat there both shaking while I tried to figure out if she still had four legs in tact. I took her in the house where she ran around trying to get back outside. (Seriously. I just risked my hands so you could keep your hind legs, the fight is over.) I went back out and told crazy neighbor lady she's fine and her response was, "Well yeah, because he bit my finger instead." You can imagine the sympathy I had for her. She did profusely apologize (which meant nothing to me) and scolded her dog in a kind of, somewhat, sort of mean voice (which meant nothing to him.)

I later discovered (thanks to stains on the bedspread) she did get nicked a little by his teeth right in her ass. So she was bleeding a little but she seemed totally un-phased by it. (I on the other hand, want to vom when I see blood. So it took me a bit to get over the fact that there was blood anywhere.) So around 11:00 the ordeal ended with the bedspread in the washer, Bella calmed down and my head hitting the pillow.

Here's where I step up to my soapbox...

I love dogs. And it breaks my damn heart when people classify dogs as "mean dogs." I don't believe any particular breed is mean, people abuse the attributes of certain breeds and MAKE the dogs mean. They TRAIN them to be mean dogs based on the fact that they've got big teeth and their bodies are the size of mine. (i.e. pit bulls and rottweilers). This woman has NO BUSINESS with a dog that big who she can't control. Dogs that size need substantial training because they are that strong and do have that kind of capability.

This is also where I point out that I am ridiculously aware of how NOT TRAINED my dog is (though she can give knucks and sit when she wants to). However, my dog is also only 19 pounds and has the aforementioned 5 rounded teeth. Fortunately even though she isn't trained, there's very little damage she is capable of (again, ask the kitty when we brought her home at less than 2 pounds and she kicked Bella's ass...repeatedly). If you can't control your dog on a walk and he is literally dragging you around, you shouldn't have him. And the solution of just screaming, "HE'S FRIENDLY!" clearly isn't working.

Secondly, if you are going to get a dog, please read a book, maybe even two, about dogs instead of thinking you're smart enough to just instinctively know about them. Even the friendliest of dogs can get aggressive when they feel threatened and are on a leash. This is why they STRONGLY suggest not leaving your dog on a leash at a dog park. It makes them feel restricted and if another dog comes and makes them feel threatened, they may get aggressive. So if you're dog weighs more than you, is stronger than you, and is on a leash...maybe, JUST MAYBE, you don't let him charge towards a pug the size of his head. Because if you can't control him as he walks, you SURE AS HELL aren't going to be able to control him as he's trying to eat her. FYI.

Also, I think the cat enjoyed this all. My entire petting zoo is made of assholes. The cutest assholes ever.

*For those keeping track at home, this is the THIRD time Bella has thought she could defend herself against a dog weighing over 100 pounds and the first time it didn't require staples.

Android vs. iPhone

2011-11-02T09:32:00.003-05:00

I recently drank the koolaid and joined the iPhone army. I had been contemplating the jump since Sprint announced they'd be carrying the iPhone but had been hesitant because for the most part I avoid change like the plague. But after I dropped my android for the second time, the cracks to the screen were too much to tolerate. (After the first drop - both times it landed face down - I was able to get used to it, they were small cracks up in the corner and while it looked ghetto, it was still readable and worked so I kept it.) When I took my phone in to be repaired / replaced, I was informed that it would be $50 cheaper to get the iPhone4...So after much back and forth I finally decided to take the plunge. (FYI, because I know you're all dying to know...there was a rather long waiting list for the iPhone 4s and the only thing I dislike more than change is waiting, I couldn't wait around for a new phone. It had to be immediate. Naturally.)

Now that I've had the iphone for a few weeks I feel comfortable enough to make some commentary about the two.

First, the number one thing I miss from my android was a feature in the alarm clock. On the android, when you set an alarm clock and saved it, there was a little banner that popped up that would say, "This alarm will go off in 8 hours and 4 minutes." Occasionally that little notification would stress me out (i.e. any time the number was less than 8 hours. I'd cry a little to myself about how few hours of sleep I was getting.) But for the most part, it saved my life. Or at least my ability to show up at work on time. Because when I accidentally would be setting an alarm for the a.m. or for a Saturday morning, it would say, "This alarm is set to go off in 4 days 8 hours and 24 minutes" and I was able to immediately know, "hey, that's not right!" So while it seemed minor with the android, I learned quickly of it's importance when I accidentally set my iphone alarm for pm and was almost late to work. (Yes, I know, I can just be more careful when setting an alarm. I'm working on that.)

Second, I thought I missed my notification light. Since my 2 versions of Blackberry before the android I've been quite accustomed (read: trained) to having a notification light that told me when anything happened with my phone. Mail, text, phone, etc. I was pretty sad about missing the notification light on the iphone. Until recently I realized how quickly apple has retrained me. Yesterday, while sitting at my desk, I was absolutely annoyed by the notification light blinking on my work blackberry. Touche, apple. You win. I feel much less chained to the blinking light.

Third, one of my favorite things about the iphone (techies be warned, this is NOT something you're going to consider a "big deal") is that my text conversations are grouped, easy to read, and most importantly, all in one bubble. The android only let you text 160 characters per message. This drove me insane. I found myself trying to break up texts so that I wasn't sending a part 2 message that just said, "ing." (Or any other random ending to a message.) This is very pleasing to me that I can be as long winded as necessary and at least on my end, it's all in one bubble.

Finally, I get the "cool" apps. No more 2nd rate substitute for instagram. No more hearing about cool iphone apps only to discover android hasn't gotten it yet. In terms of development, it seems like iphone wins and I can have all the cool apps I want. So there's that.

I still love my android. In fact, it's the first phone I haven't tucked away in a drawer somewhere when its replacement came. I have a bunch of apps my three year old nephew LOVED on there (and that kept him entertained while waiting around anywhere). So I keep it charged and in my purse and when I see him now instead of asking for "Angie's phone" and telling me it's "in Angie's purse" he asks for "Angie's old phone, Joey's phone...in Angie's purse." So it lives on. And he's quite happy with it...cracks and all!

F&B, B&F.

2011-10-28T13:11:00.004-05:00

As I said in my very first post ever, my dad has a way with words and I've got some quality quotes from him that have stuck around for ever. As evidenced here and here.

One of my other favorites is "Focus and balance, balance and focus." For my 21st birthday he had a pin made that he designed. It's a butterfly and in the designs on its wings are an F and a B on one side and a B and an F on the other. (It's likely not much of a coincidence that on a birthday often celebrated with copious amounts of booze he reaffirmed this message.) These messages have been engrained in my brain. Along with the emphasis on focus and balance he also advised my brother and I to never let anything consume you. (I think it was in a drugs and alcohol talk we had when we were kids that it first came up, but I apply it everywhere in life.)

The past couple weeks I've had a hard time getting my ass to the gym. And this afternoon I reminded myself of this message for a couple reasons.

I need to regain my focus. For a while there, since this post, where I announced the ultimatum I placed on myself, I was doing great at going to the gym. I made it to the gym 4 times a week for 7 straight weeks. That is some good focus right there! I made it a priority and fit it in (rather comfortably if I do say so). So last week between shit hitting the fan at work and a long weekend / vacation (that's what I was calling it) thrown in there, it was like I dove head first off the wagon. I worked out once...and it was Yoga. (Not that there's anything wrong with yoga but it's not one of those "my heart is beating out of my chest and it's possible I could die" workouts.) This week I really wanted to be better, I had a plan in place. And then, as it usually does, life happened and I got off plan.

This is where I find it so important to follow up the focus with balance. I am okay with life happening. I know no matter how hard I plan, life will ALWAYS happen. And that's a good thing, I want life to happen. What good is working out and feeling great if you're never around people to share it with? So I accepted last week and moved on. And I'm rearranging things this week and finding a way to get in a couple workouts this weekend.

I don't have any desire to be someone who spends all their spare time at the gym. I don't ever want to have to turn down spending time with people I love dearly to make-up a workout. I understand some people have that type of discipline but it's not something I am interested in. I try very hard to carefully plan my workouts and get them in any chance I can. But if I get a call from my brother and he needs someone to watch my nephew, the plan changes. If my parents call and want to spend time together, plan changed. If a friend is in need of some wine and company, I'm there. And, in the case of this week, when the shelter calls and is having a Halloween party for 30+ kids and needs an extra set of hands? Goodbye Spin, helllllooo pumpkins! Working out is very important to me, but it's not going to consume my life or spare time or priorities.

I've put the ultimatum in place because I love plans and enjoy measurable results. If I see 4 penguin stickers on my calendar for the week, I know I've met my goal. But there is always going to be exceptions. As long as I can at some point get back on the horse, all will work out. I'm compensating for next week. I have workouts scheduled for lunch AND after work. So I know I can make at least one of them. I'm headed back to MPLS on Friday so I'm hoping to get all 4 in during the week so I can not worry about it on "vacation." By next week I will have regained my focus and found my balance.

Semi-related: I could also probably consider not calling every long weekend to Minnesota a "vacation" but where's the fun in that?

What helps you focus? How do you get your workouts in during a busy week? When do you allow for the exception?

Team Struggle.

2011-10-26T15:09:00.002-05:00

I know, two posts in one day. This one will be far less entertaining and make much less sense.

I still feel like I'm a little bit a member of Team Struggle. This doesn't come as a surprise as today is my first day back in the "real world." I had off Friday, Homecoming festivities Saturday, Game day festivities on Sunday, off on Monday, worked from home on Tuesday. The combination of lack of sleep, more drinking than normal, lots of driving, many emotions, and a lack of routine has proven more than my mind and body were prepared for.

It's not like I'm doing anything crazy stupid, but I'm in that haze you often spend your time in after a lot of acting younger than your age. This leads to really ridiculously special thoughts. And I figured, it was too fun not to share. These are legitimate thoughts I've had today.

I wonder if I'll ever find a pair of aviators that look good.
That guy is dressed in all black, I'll call him Johnny Cash.
Why can't I find the home button on IE8?
Is it possible I'm still a little drunk? What if booze stayed in your system for as long as weed does...that would be nuts.
Ha, look at you Johnny Cash!
I told my boss she made a "drawering" a la Mike Meyers as Simon from SNL.
I had to google "Mike Meyers" to make sure that was the right guy.
I answered the phone, "Hello" when my brother called and with just that one word, he asked, "Why I are you confused?" (and I was.)
If everyone in my meetings had a British accent, I bet I'd pay closer attention.

My mind is a scary place to be today - hoping tomorrow I gain a little more normalcy.

We did it. Part II.

2011-10-26T09:45:00.007-05:00

Rawr Betches.

I don't think I'm very good at writing re-cap posts. For as wordy as a person as I am, I have a very hard time actually capturing the amount of fun that was had. And if you weren't there? Then these posts have to be the most boring thing you've ever read. So sorry about that. Soon I'll be back to writing my much more entertaining and riveting posts about nothing at all.

Saturday could have been one of the best days of 2011. Let the record show that I am NOT a morning person. But there is something to be said for activities that require you to get up super early in the morning, there's like a built-in excitement for whatever lies ahead. Like an early morning flight...way more exciting than an afternoon flight. For some reason, waking up with the sun just makes it more fun! So Saturday morning we did just that. After going to bed around 1:00 a.m. (there was support needed in the beer batter making that was going on), we woke up around 6:30. The sun wasn't up yet but we downed some coffee, the boys packed up the portable party wagon (to the fricken BRIM) and we donned our maroon and gold. We were on the road to campus as the sun was coming up.

Sidenote: Since the ground breaking on the new TCF Bank Stadium on Campus I have been jealous of students at the U. When I was there (another way of saying, "Back in my day") we had to attend football games at the Metrodome. Which is, in case you're unaware, the WORST place ever to watch any sporting event. Especially when said sporting event is a Minnesota Gopher Football game. We hardly filled the stadium (which automatically takes excitement away). PLUS, it was no where near being "on campus" so you had to board a nasty, sweaty Campus Connector bus that was full of way too many drunk people. The threat of being vomited on was enough to keep me away. Now they get to walk to games, to a stadium on campus. And best of all, the tailgating is a HUNDRED times better because it's RIGHT ON CAMPUS. Lucky. So damn lucky.

So, back to the recap. The amount of stuff in Jeremy's car was out of control. Luckily Sae is small and she fit in the back (barely) next to a tank of propane. I sat three across in the front of the car with two former football players. We were cozy. Maybe I just had too much fun, but I also kind of feel like getting all cozy in a packed car adds excitement too?? (It's possible I was just excited and anything that happened that day seemed to make it more exciting...it's entirely possible.)

*Disclaimer, as Pat pointed out, he is not a giant, he was just riding the hump.

The first 20 minutes of tailgating was chaotic and I couldn't stop smiling! Jeremy's wearing a lion mask! Oh we're at DU, FUN! Look there's Chris Howard! Awww, campus! Those house fronts are terrible (couldn't get over this one). We should buy mittens. How come we can't get into the lot? Oh the guy is hungover and didn't show up for work...Oh college! Let's listen to Party Rock! Quick unload the party wagon! Let's get coffee and bagels! Ha, look at Pat trying to get out of the car, he's crying like a baby being born, hilarious! Let's listen to Party Rock! Drink this coffee...getting wide awake! Chris Howard is so fun and he even has a baby! Remember when Homecoming was on a Tuesday? (WHY AM I SO OLD?!) Look it's Joe and Tripod! Hey BK is here! BK remembers the game on a Tuesday! Bloody Marys! Pickles! Wait, are we listening to Party Rock again? Hey it's getting warm, remember when we thought we needed mittens? How come all the men have capris on?

Seriously, that was the first 20 mins. Then there was a nice little calm before the storm. We even sat in chairs for a little bit. Got in a few games of bags, chatted about Pugs with Amy, and slowly gathered a larger group as people started trickling in. And then time literally flew by. I felt like minutes were passing like hours. People starting pouring in, other cars showed up. The lot was full and it was 3 hours into tailgating and it felt like 5 minutes. Beth came and brought champagne which quickly became Gopher Juice. Then more Alpha Chi's showed up and we suddenly had a group of AXO's. My BFF's came and it was official. We were doing it. Max Tailgating. It was like I had finally experienced a legend I had only heard about (and seen pictures of on facebook.)

Jeremy deep fried everything within reach. SERIOUSLY. He had a deep fryer and he was a master chef of tailgating. Other groups got wind of this and came over to witness his wicked tailgating chef skills. I talked about Price is Right with some kid. The band came and played while Howard stood in the middle of them. We listened to Party Rock 235 more times. BK played DJ and we had an oldies dance party in the tent.

It wasn't until the band finished playing that I realized Chris was in the middle of them.

Before we knew it, it was 3:00 and time for those with tickets to head on into the stadium (and for the rest of us to continue drinking...)

We did it.

2011-10-25T09:24:00.002-05:00

I have thought about writing this post since my drive home yesterday and just couldn't figure out how to write it. How to put into words how much fun I had! So after hemming and hawing, I just decided it's going to be a little scatter brained, but we'll just go for it! (It's not like you, my readers, aren't used to that already!)

I left for Minneapolis on Friday morning. There was a happy hour set for 3:00 so I left a little earlier than usual and was on the road by 9. I must have really gotten into the driving zone because I had planned for a 5 1/2 drive and made it there in 4 1/2. So at 1:15 I was driving through St. Paul and well on my way to homecoming weekend! We got changed into our maroon and gold and headed off to campus.

Gina and I kicked off homecoming happy hour with a quesadilla and a beer at Burrito Loco...where I forced the bouncer to check my ID before we made our way upstairs. He looked at me like he didn't know what to do with it...and that was the first time that weekend I felt really old. Brushed it off though, and was quickly reminded why we decided to risk feeling old for a happy hour on campus. It was $1 tap beer, rail drinks and margaritas. ONE DOLLAR...for THREE HOURS. And if you ordered a $4 pitcher of beer, you got free fajitas. It didn't make sense, but that's a hell of a deal. I'm currently contemplating drinking on campuses for the rest of my life because for $15 I was full and drunk. Success.

We moved onto the parade as it turned dark outside. Back in my day, the parade was in the morning before the game. And let me just tell you, that made a ton more sense. Sure kids were up drinking before the sun, but at least you could actually SEE the parade. At night they just put a bunch of spot lights out to light the route but you spent most of the time being blinded by the lights. When I'm not spending the entire parade waiting for "I Get it Daily" t-shirts or free chipotle coupons it's just much less attention grabbing.

Also, the house fronts were WEAK sauce. Though we determined it was probably for safety or budgetary reasons. I mean sure, having drunk frat boys spend a large amount of their house funds on tissue paper they're climbing three stories of scaffolding to place seems a bit ridiculous. But damn it made for some beautiful house fronts back then. (This is probably the 2nd time I felt old as we kept talking about "back in our days.")

After a half hour of the parade I was totally over it. Fortunately I wasn't alone. Sae and I made our way to Stub and Herbs...where it was so hot you were literally inhaling sweat. We made our way out to their sweet new patio (back in my day, they didn't have a patio). Ted met up with us and we had a couple beers before needing to turn in for the night as an early morning of tailgating was soon to be upon us.

Observations from Friday:

I now know how I was able to survive on so little money in college, things are cheap. SO cheap. Drinking is cheap, eating is cheap. It's all very cheap. I might just move to a college campus.
I have the world's best friends. The number of offers I had for living in basements / guest bedrooms / couches if I move up there brought a big smile to my heart.
There's a TON of new stuff on campus, including a Qdoba (are U students still more faithful to Chipotle?), a Buffalo Wild Wings (so wait, they just get to walk to Bdubs instead of driving miles away to pick up orders?!) and multiple luxury apartment complexes (since when is anything in college described as luxury?)
We all agreed if there was a way to go back to college for just one week we could die of happiness. Fact: life is easier. We witnessed it a few times.
I am already feeling like a too old alumni to be around the frats on campus, but there are some REALLY old men who LOVE hanging out there during homecoming. Related: STOP oggling young co-eds. You're gross.
Somehow a magnetic force keeps pulling me back to the Faue Family Farm and I'm very comfortable with this force.

Okay, because this is already getting long, I'm breaking up the homecoming recaps. Come back for tomorrow's recap of my very first LEGIT gopher tailgating experience (the non-campus Metrodome experiences just don't count.)

Happy Homecoming!

2011-10-20T15:29:00.006-05:00

I am less than 24 hours from the beginning of my homecoming weekend celebrations and I couldn't be more excited. As much as Milwaukee is my home because it where my physical house is, my family is here and it's where I spend the majority of my time, it's very fitting that my favorite celebration at the U and in the Cities is Homecoming. That campus was my home and because of many reasons still is a home away from home. Many of my non-blood related family lives there. I've had houses there. (I still consider AXO "my" house, so I guess I do still have a house there). And when it comes to memories, the concentration of good solid memories that the U provided a backdrop for is ridiculously high. So, in less than 24 hours, I'm coming home. Maybe only for a long weekend, but for the whole damn weekend, I'll feel like I'm home.

And to kick off the wondrous celebrations, I've decided to post some pictures from homecomings of yore. I thought I'd be able to find a lot more, until I realized that for most of the homecomings I celebrated as an undergrad, you couldn't yet upload albums of pictures to Facebook. Yes, kids I'm talking about a time that was B.F. Before Facebook. (If that doesn't make me feel like a creepy old alumni...thank goodness this weekend is made for creepy old alumni!)

This is from just this past year and makes me smile every time. I have it hung at my desk at work and no one even comments on the fact that I'm a gopher fan in the picture, they're too busy looking at the 3 pretty ladies in their gopher gear!

Ahh, my very first homecoming. I joined the sorority after HC freshman year (wow was that a different kind of homecoming celebration.) This year always holds a special place in my heart. Special enough that I have pictures on the 'book from it because I SCANNED them on to my computer. That's dedication.

This is still one of my favorite memories as it's the first time my 'rents ever met Tor. And she was quite upset about a lost mitten at the time. It wasn't until years later that they admitted the stood across the street and watched us for a while before they came over and said hi. And they let me stay in the sorority. Shocking. They even loved Tori. :)

Thanks to being Greek I got to relive a bit of Cheerleading in college. Here's our cheer team from my favorite year of homecoming ever. There were many hours spent practicing in a barn that year...the sawdust was as close to a gym with a mat we could find. And we loved every minute of it. Our theme was Shrek. And yes, we made our costumes. (I'm sure you were wondering as they look so professional.)

Addiction.

2011-10-19T15:47:00.002-05:00

This post is far less serious than it appears given the title. But, when I thought about this particular subject I thought to myself, "Surely I've written about other things I'm obsessed with / addicted to, yes?" The answer is hell yes. I have 5 pages of posts that had the word obsessed in it and 1 page of posts with "addiction" mentioned in it. And seriously, have you ever heard me talk about Target?! (It's out of control.)

So this leads me to a couple of conclusions (both of which I already know).

1) I tend to sometimes over exaggerate just a wee bit. (obsessed and addicted are pretty heavily loaded words!)
2) I also kind of dive in head first when I like something. Sort of. (See: Anything Titanic related.)

So, as I was thinking about posting something today my mind was wandering about what I'll have for dinner tonight...and as my mind does these days, it immediately went to Chipotle. Which led to me using words like addicted and obsessed.

Now let me tell you, me and my love affair with Chipotle goes way back. 9 years to be exact. I can remember the first time I tried it! I had just moved into the dorms at the U and was alone, hungry and repulsed by the thought of another meal over at good old Centennial Hall. I looked up what was within walking distance and found Chipotle. I remember I got tacos, it's one of the few (seriously, maybe three times) I didn't get the EXACT same meal. (Those of you doing the math, that means in 9 years I have varied up my order THREE TIMES.) I've never looked back.

Now before you go judging me, let me also tell you the tradition that developed over those 4 years in college. Chipotle became a spot. Most Saturdays if hungover and not looking to do much more than roll out of bed? Chipotle. Homecoming after the parade (to soak up some of the day drinking)? Chipotle. Study snack? Chipotle chips & salsa. Living in Dinaken for a whole summer? LOTS of chips and salsa. Also the introduction of guacamole. I have fond memories of many-a-lunch at Chipotle and I love those memories (including a reunion of the SATC girls this summer with a hungover Chipotle lunch!)

But, even in those 4 years, it was an every now and then thing. Lately, it has become a down right problem. I'm obsessed, addicted, etc. I don't want to eat anything else. But here's the thing...I can't find a reason not to. Beyond the portions being out of control (but not if you ask for easy rice)...it's good for you! It's colorful, it's whole, unprocessed foods. The only thing that I ever hesitated about was the rice...and now? My Chipotle has brown rice!

So my eating goals lately have been:
Unprocessed foods? Check.
Colorful veggies? Check.
Only whole grains? Check.
On a budget? Check.
In a jiffy, I can get all my "needs" met for under $8. How can I say no (to myself)?

DISCLAIMER: Yes, I'm aware I just wrote an entire post about Chipotle. No, Chipotle didn't pay me to write it, and given that I have roughly 10 readers, they'll never see this. Yes, I realize it totally sounds super fat kid of me. No, I don't mind. I love me some Chipotle, this is what came to mind, and as it usually goes on this site, I shared with you.

There are no cohesive thoughts here.

2011-10-18T09:51:00.002-05:00

I've known I needed to blog for a while now and every time I thought about what I was going to blog about it ended in me likely getting fired. So I've just been waiting it out until I could write something respectful and not lose my job.

Also - I went to the dentist yesterday to have not one but TWO cavities filled. It was not nearly as bad as I had thought it would be...totally psyched myself up. Either that, or, the combination of nitrous oxide and my ipod on a very high volume is enough to make me so relaxed I don't care what happens to my teeth or what terrible noise the drill is making. (It's likely the latter of the two.)

My favorite project that I work on each year, the BEST part of my job, the event we spend hours and hours and hours planning has been cancelled. It was a decision made by management. I don't like it. That's as much as I'll say in order to best not get fired. I have spent the last week at work dealing with the aftermath. It has been awesome (sense the tone.)

However...IT'S ALMOST HOMECOMING WEEKEND!! It is my light at the end of the tunnel. If I can truck on through to 5:00 on Thursday my reward is Homecoming. Come 3:00 on Friday afternoon I'll be all happy hours and parades and tailgating. I can spend copious amounts of time on the campus I love so dearly without being considered a creepy old alumni! I can eat Burrito Loco and Chipotle all in one weekend because TRADITION says I should. I love homecoming like I love Christmas. It's an all encompassing passion for a day full of all things wonderful. I have so much damn maroon and gold set out for the suitcase. EXCEPT, for the GREEN and gold I have set out for Sunday.

Clearly, because Clay Matthews does in fact want to accept my proposal to be my husband, he talked to the powers that be and made sure to schedule the game against Minnesota that takes place IN Minnesota the one weekend he knew his future wife would be there. So Sunday afternoon I'm trading maroon for green and will cheer on my future husband and his teammates (including Amy's future husband) as they take on the Vikings.

And, because I have found even more ways to make this weekend awesome, I have taken Monday off of work so I can leave as I choose on Monday morning and meander back to WI.

Only about 62 hours until it's go time!

Groundhog's day?

2011-10-10T09:55:00.005-05:00

When I started thinking about what I could post about to kick off this lovely Monday morning I realized it was a bit of a Groundhog's day moment.

Brewers win twice? Check. Packers kill it? Check. Badgers had a bye so that's about the only thing different. Oh, and the Gophers actually put points on the board this week, so I guess a few things changed. (Not hating, just stating factual evidence. I still love the U more than you could imagine, but really Gophers? REALLY?)

So in the interest of protecting my Minnesota fanbase (which is quite large) and turning this into a "HOW FRICKIN' GOOD IS WISCONSIN!?" blog...I'll write about non-sports related things that happened.

I went to my favorite spin class again this weekend. Saturday morning with Kelly. She's the best. Seriously. (And the woman has three year old TWINS. After being utterly exhausted after spending a couple of hours with him this weekend, the fact that she has TWO, that are in her care ALL HOURS OF THE DAY?!?! Well that just makes this woman a super hero.) She always has one thing she says to us that really sticks with me. Last week she reminded us we could have chosen to stay home on the couch, but we opted to challenge ourselves. Some people NEVER do that. (How do you not feel all "hell yeah!" about yourself?!) This week she was encouraging us to give a little more, push a little harder. She said, "If you wanted an easy workout you'd be watching TV on the elliptical." Again, HELL YES. Not that there's anything wrong with hopping on an elliptical for a while. That's still exercise and you're still lapping all those people sitting on the couch. My point in bringing this up is that she reminds you WHY you're there. You didn't come to spin class to effortlessly meander through your workout - you came to be challenged. To push yourself. To sweat. your. ass. off. And we did exactly that. I spend the rest of the week waiting for Kelly's class now!

Second fun story of the weekend. My brother and I met for lunch on Saturday. The nephew came too. I was eating my food with chopsticks. (Side note: my brother and I argued over why people eat with chopsticks. I said I really do enjoy it. He said it's just to show off and look cool. Either way, I can use 'em and he can't. Jealous.) Joey saw me eating with the chopsticks and soon after grabbed them and deemed them "JJ's chop-sticks." (As he does with most things I have.) He held them at the very bottom of the stick, grabbed the food with the same hand and brought it over to my plate as he said, "There you go." And after he did it, he sat back in his chair beaming with pride. I swear he was thinking to himself, "Chopsticks? Skill mastered." It was the cutest thing I've seen. Then I showed him we could just poke the food to make it stick on the chopstick. From that point on everything he ate had chopstick in front of it. Leading him to loudly proclaim, "This chopstick chicken is delicious!" So. Damn. Cute.

On Sunday, before the games, my dad and I cleaned out the insides of our cars. Vacuumed, wiped 'em down and washed the windows. I know that this is technically not possible, but I swear my car feels like it drives better when it's clean on the inside!

And now here we are, Monday morning again. I've tried three different cups of coffee and all tasted horrible. (Two were my fault, one was McDonald's) In an effort to get caffeine by any means possible I resorted to a Diet Coke (which I haven't been drinking in months). Clearly it's not my day for caffeine as the soda machine in the cafeteria was out of Diet Coke syrup forcing me to choose Diet Pepsi. And we all know it's just not as good.

And finally, because Sukie will ask (thanks acountabilibuddy!) I did get my 4 days in last week! Monday was upper bodyworks, Wednesday was lower, Saturday was spin and Sunday was a long walk with the pup.

Here's this weeks' plan:
Monday - Upper bodyworks over lunch
Tuesday - Rest
Wednesday - Yoga after work
Thursday - Total Bodyworks over lunch
Friday - Rest / Walk the dog
Saturday - Spin
Sunday - Walk? Spin? Rest? (Depends on what Saturday night looks like)

Well, well, well.

2011-10-07T10:08:00.002-05:00

Sure has been a long time since I've come around these parts! Shit got down right crazy this week and I've been a busy bee with no spare time (I mean beyond the spare time I spend catching up on my favorite shows now that regular TV is back for the fall, of course. I love you all, but I can't miss Parenthood. Let's be real.)

I've been going to bed ridiculously early (last night I was asleep before 10:00 p.m.) and waking up much later than usual (thank goodness for my naturally curly hair and the ability to be up and ready for work in under 30 mins.) My brain has been working double time at work these last couple weeks, combined with my working out schedule and the stress WI sports teams have put on me and by 8:00 p.m. I'm downright sleepy. Last night as I struggled to stay awake through Grey's Anatomy (yes, the show that is FINISHED by 9:00) I remembered just a few years ago when I had weekly Grey's viewing parties that rarely STARTED by 9:00. Ah, to be young again!

Sometimes, like last night, I think to myself "If I lived with someone right now, I might not be able to get my 9+ hours of sleep at night...they could interrupt that. Oh! And what if they don't want to watch Grey's? Then I'd be watching it and falling asleep in bed and they'd be all waking me up when they decided to come to bed at the ridiculous hour of 11:00?!" (Yeah, I have a tv in my bedroom. Yes, I know "experts" say that's a bad idea. I combat that "expertise" by repeating that I sleep 9+ hours a night. I don't think I'm having any problems with sleep, thankyouverymuch. Oh and also, I live by myself and do what I want. So suck it, experts.)

Since this post clearly has no point thus far, let's keep that up with some random bullets.

I have been keeping up on my working out. As exhibited by my penguin stickers on my calendar. Just looking at all those penguin heads gives me motivation! (Seriously, the same trick people use to potty train their children seems to keep me excited about working out.)
This week I'm taking a little baby risk. I am not working out over lunch today because I need to get out of here early so I can cheer for the Brewers (they need me) and the game starts at 4:00. That means in order to get to my magic number of 4 I need to work out tomorrow and Sunday. If you do the math on that, I need to NOT drink so much tonight that I'm hungover for my favoritist spin class tomorrow at 8:30. Which could be tough if we're celebrating a W here people!
I've officially scheduled monthly trips to MPLS through the end of the year. I'm pretty happy about this.
I met a boring guy with a horrible laugh last weekend...and that concludes my update on my dating life.
My brother keeps talking about never wanting to date again, ever. I know that's not what I want, but I have to admit he makes it sound pretty appealing.
Yesterday I was really annoyed by a co-worker and I typed about 10 different tweets (out of frustration) and ended up deleting them all and not posting anything. This was strangely therapeutic for me.
My dad sent me the commencement speech Steve Jobs gave in '05 today. There's lots of good in there, but my favorite is "Stay hungry. Stay foolish." This might become one of my many life mottos.

Now that I've spent about 5 minutes of your life with no point or end result, I think this is a good time to wrap it up.

Enjoy your Friday, have a good weekend and of course, GO BREWERS!

#Sconniepride

2011-10-03T09:19:00.006-05:00

I spend a considerable amount of time on this blog talking about how much I love Minnesota and how many happy memories the Twin Cities have provided me with. But, let it be known, I am a Wisconsin girl, through and through. Milwaukee stole my heart from a young age and no matter what city I may visit or temporarily call home, Milwaukee is my first love and will always be my home.

And seriously? After this weekend? I am BEAMING with pride. And, as long as we're clearing things up, let it also be known, this is not a fair weather fan / bandwagon jumping situation. I was at a game at Lambeau field before the age of 1. I attended many Brewer games from the womb. And although I was born in Milwaukee, I moved to Madison on day 2 of my life and spent some time there too. In 6th grade when told we needed to give a speech about something Wisconsin, I chose Vince Lombardi. I memorized the speech. I think it made my dad cry. At 11, I stalked Jeff Cirillo so hard he recognized me as "that girl who was screaming a lot" from an away game in Cincinnati. We were thrilled when we learned Gorman Thomas lived a few houses down from my parents house. And him AND Mark Chmura attended our church. My dad played back yard football with some of the Green Bay greats. My nephew was named after a Brewer. We are Wisconsin sports fans through and through. We've stuck by them through the not so great seasons.

And finally all 27 years of allegiance has paid off. This weekend was probably one of the best weekends a Wisconsin sports fan could have. I went to bed early on Friday and it kind of felt like Christmas Eve. Except when I woke up, Christmas came four times and lasted 2 days.

Our Brewers bookended the weekend with wins against the Diamondbacks. Beast mode was in full effect. Saturday night the Badgers gave the Cornhuskers one hell of a welcome to the Big Ten. (It should also be noted here that the Gophers lost 58-0 to Michigan. I love the U more than I probably should love an inanimate object, but wowza...not sure about Gopher Football!) Sunday was the holy grail. Kick-off at 3:15, first pitch at 4:07. We flipped back and forth (couldn't figure out picture in picture at my rents). I cried at least 3 times. I switched T-shirts often. Blue to red, then back to blue, then on to green.

Truthfully, I'll always love "my boys." But watching them play this weekend reminded me why. They have fun. At the end of the Brewer game Prince Fielder literally skipped through as he high fived his team mates. Even Grienke, the anxious pitcher, gave a little baby beast mode (which took the cake as the cutest part of the game.) Rodgers had one of the best games of his career, and set an NFL record. And he got to throw on the belt a few times. Donald Driver, one of our most beloved boys, threw some dirt on that injury and came back in to score a touch down.

As Doug Russell pointed out in his blog, "We have the reigning Super Bowl, Big Ten football, National League Central Division, Division III football, MISL and NCAA women's hockey champions all residing here in our little hard-working, out of the way, flyover state. "

My intentions are not to rub this in the face of fans of any other teams. I know there will come a time again when someone else takes their reign on top. But for now, in this year, it feels DAMN good to be a Wisconsin sports fan.

Best Compliment Ever.

2011-09-27T16:39:00.002-05:00

It should be noted that I am right smack dab in the middle of my typical post-MN friend seeing blues / funk. I do it every time I see them (so you can imagine the roller coaster I've been on after all these visits this year!). It's just a shame I can't make them all move here...all of you. Even the ones who no longer live in MN. (Oregon? California? Pennsylvania? New York? Alaska?? I'm looking at you.)

If you were at the wedding with me this past weekend, you too would be in love with my friends and wish they lived in your city all the time. We're pretty much the best time you could ever want to have. Sober before the ceremony? Super fun. Drunk at the reception? Double time fun. Back at the hotel eating pizza? So. Much. Fun. Hungover at the continental breakfast? Hilarious. Close to dying of laughter at Perkins? STOP the fun, it's just too much. So it shouldn't be this big surprise I am happy when I'm with them and sad when I'm not.

However, sometimes they make me smile just as big when I'm not even in the same state as them. And yesterday one of my favorites did just that. In the midst of an e-mail conversation back and forth she gave me one of the best compliments I could possibly receive (especially after last week's pity party). She told me she loves that I am me. And that no matter what was happening this weekend I was just being Angie.

Seriously my heart burst into eleventy bajillion pieces. I'm working very hard at redefining, rediscovering, reconfiguring just who the best Angie is. When you're alone, that's the very best time to do this. You are basing who you are on you and you alone. Sure you're family and friends have influence but if you've chosen them wisely, it's a good influence and they make you a better you. The only thing better than working on becoming the best me I can be is when someone tells you how much they love that me. BEST EVER.

I swear, soon I'll blog about something other than how much fun I had this weekend and people, places and things that aren't somehow tied to MN. Although, be warned, it won't last long because in just 24 short days I'm headed up to the city I love for Homecoming. HOMECOMING. This is pretty much my favorite thing EVER after Christmas. And sometimes, in some moments, homecoming could even win out over Christmas. (I know! I said it and I stand by it. ) Hot damn I love me some Homecoming!

This is for Kelly C.

2011-09-26T08:52:00.004-05:00

I got to attend a wedding of one of my sorority sisters this past weekend. These are some of my very favorite events ever. I LOVE a reason to get together with all of my friends from college and when the reason is seeing a friend get married, well that's just like killing two birds with one stone!

So a few things first, this post is for Kelly C because she pretty much made my day / night by informing me she reads and loves this blog. Seriously, when I write posts I really feel like I'm writing them for maybe 3 people (my mom is one of 'em) so when I find out people actually read it, I'm beaming. AND, it gives me pressure to be even more entertaining. So I'll give it a go. But because there's just so much to cover, I'm going with some bullets.

This whole weekend "started" on Tuesday when I found a great dress that I loved, that was a size smaller than I usually wear and that was marked down by $100. This NEVER happens.
The drive up to Green Bay took a half hour less than I figured it would.
I used THREE things I found on pinterest (2 of my gifts and my hairstyle were found via pinterest.)
A situation that I thought had potential to be awkward, was pretty much anything but.
Kelly's husband was the best mid-wedding mediator I've ever met. (Updated to account for cool factor: Kelly's husband, who is single handedly bringing suspenders back to men's fashion, much to Gina's liking. Kelly's husband who, pending results of certain events may or may not be an official Rock Star from Mars.)
Instead of feeling all "Boo, I'm at a wedding with all my non-single friends" I hardly even noticed it, enjoyed the hell out of not having to babysit someone.
Watched Gina go from not drinking for a month to enjoying a drink made with 151...given to her by her husband.
Taking the best photo booth pictures I've ever seen taken with Gina, Tori, and Nila
Getting to see people like Kelly and Nila and all the other "younger" Alpha Chi's I haven't seen in so long.
Having Ben ask me for my mom's phone number at the bar...and not hesitating for a second to give it to him. (Also, watching everyone in the vicinity's faces when this happened.)
The fact that when we're all together and drinking, my friends want to call my mom..this makes me happy.
I got to do the cupid shuffle (which automatically makes it a good day), slow dance, seriously get down with some of my best friends.
Making it to almost the very end of the wedding, going back to the hotel, slipping into some of the most comfortable sweats I've ever worn and placing not one, but two orders for pizza at 2:00 a.m.
Waiting for said pizza on the couch in the lobby of the hotel in my pj's w/ Ben having a deep conversation (that neither of us exactly recall) like we were in our living room.
Watching Kelly arise from slumber to the announcement that wings had arrived, and plopping down right in front of them, and going to town on that order.
Sukie sleep talking about sweet potatoes and Kevin inviting me over to hear it.
Giggling like crazy the next morning at Perkin's as we recapped parts of the night.

Finally, (this one couldn't be just a bullet), I am having a little bit of regret this morning. See, yesterday as we all enjoyed some food from the continental breakfast we saw a man come down with a lunchbox. He took all the fruit from the buffet as well as about 6 boxes of cereal. (All while"minding his business" as he informed us). I laughed and mocked a bit with the rest of the table. That is until this morning, when I woke up and realized I have NO FOOD here and thought to myself, "Damn, I bet that man is enjoying a nice breakfast of cereal and fruit right now!"

Came across this ol' gem...

2011-09-23T15:31:00.002-05:00

Thanks to the book blowing my mind with this new layout (that I don't totally understand yet, but am nonetheless VERY excited about), I came across a note from 2006 titled "Reasons I miss the U (and College life in general). I figured now is a perfect time to post this, especially since I am less than 24 hours from a little mini-reunion with many of the below mentioned friends!

Flash forward to 2011 and most of these reasons still stand (updates / commentary on these reasons from 2011 Angie are in italics.)

1. I miss hearing my alarm go off and the only thought running through my head was "I don't have an exam today...skip it." and sleeping in for another few hours. (the 2011 version of this is, "I don't have an early meeting today, I'll snooze for another 10 minutes.)
2. At any given moment on any given day I could stroll to DU's porch, call Clint, Tom, Jeremy, Joe, or Tripod in the early days and have a friend to sit on the porch with...which would then turn into a group to sit on the porch with. (those boys are SO far away...and I don't have a porch).
3. If I was lonely for lunch, I knew I could call Tor (who would always be willing to skip class-for a ride from Carlson), Nuke and/or Clint (who would always do lunch, as long as I paid), or Jeremy (who at the very least would come to Alpha Chi for lunch). (Again, NONE of those people are close enough for me to call for lunch.)
4. Now, when I walk out of my room I just see a bathroom and an empty bedroom...instead of 22 other bedrooms full of people ready to go to Target, for a ride, or watch endless hours of TV... (I also see a cat and a dog, but neither of them can go to Target with me.)
5. I can't skip work to watch a wedding story. (Bird & Teensy)
6. There is NOT as many delivery options once you leave a campus area. (or if you live in Waukesha...)
7. I have to drive a lot more...walking to the nearest bar now requires many more hours scheduled in and quite an aerobic feat.
10. In the real world there's way more serious problems than the latest CR drama...not to mention a much more hefty punishment than a $10 fine.
11. When I shop with my friends from home, no one gets my boobs...I miss Sukie. (Thanks to the good ol' reduction of 2007 this is not as much of a problem anymore. I still talk about boobs with Sukie though...that hasn't changed.)
12. When I want to talk about DU I have to call Sae instead of going down to her room. (thanks to the recently instated weekly chats, this has become not *as* big of a problem).
13. My ability to get any season of Friends, The O.C. or Sex in the City has taken a serious hit... (Thanks to streaming netflix, nick at night, and E! this hit has been substantially fixed).
14. Now when I wake up at 11:00 I can't stroll down to the kitchen to see Connie's latest surprise...I have to make my own damn surprise. (Still making my own damn surprises.)
15. When I walk out my front door...I see more front doors, instead of a gorgeous skyline view of Minneapolis. (Still true...Oh MPLS Skyline, I still miss you!)
16. Fountain diet cokes just aren't as good w/ out those damn weasels from Sioux Fu with me... (Again, still true.)
17. Doing stupid shit (a.k.a. singing into a brush, shoving a pillow in your sweatshirt, falling over a box of detergent, etc) is not nearly as much fun without the other half of Angina doing it with you. (Oh my, still VERY true.)
18. When you sing at the dinner table before dinner every Monday night and you're NOT in a sorority house, your boyfriend looks at you strange. (HA! Add this to "silver linings to living alone" list... I can sing whenever I damn please. Before dinner, during dinner, whenever I want!)
19. St. Paul is not nearly as far from Minneapolis as it seemed to be when you consider how far away from Milwaukee it is...I miss AGR. (Oh AGR. I still remember you fondly.)
20. Finding out the latest gossip from Facebook is slightly depressing...I'd rather sit in the informal and gather it from Sukie. (Thank you e-mails from Sukie, I'm still getting it from the same source.)
21. I no longer have to worry about who may stumble in my room at 3 a.m. to steal shit (Hazelkorn & Luke, I actually miss it!) (I don't miss it that much. I'm actually quite comfortable with no one sneaking in my room, thanks.)

I know there's a million other reasons I miss college...but I have to answer to the real world sometime this afternoon.

Pity Party.

2011-09-20T09:48:00.002-05:00

(Disclaimer: This post is kind of gritty. It's not as peppy as my last few have been. But in being true to the purpose of this blog - documenting my life - and to my readers / friends, I'm sharing some thoughts. Also, I'm sick. Which makes me a whiny little bitch who's sad about life in general...so there's that.)

I allowed myself to have a momentary pity party this weekend. I think sometimes it's necessary and at the root of it, I was being honest with myself about my feelings. And while for the most part (I'd even go as far as to say the greater majority of time) I am just as happy and content as my latest posts have made it sound. I have so much good in my life, it's hard not to be. But sometimes, just sometimes, I'm still sad and a little pissed. Actually, it's probably more like a little sad and a lotta pissed. And that's okay. At least, I'm okay with it.

I still look at my ex's facebook profile occasionally. This is stupid. I know this is stupid. I know anyone who's ever broken up with anyone who just read that statement is thinking about what a bad idea that is. I also know, anyone who's ever broken up with anyone, has been curious. There have been times where that curiosity has paid off. Even this past weekend...when he made a comment about being so lucky (because he gets so drunk) he loses everything when he goes out. Lost his keys, his wallet, his phone and even his car. BUT, lo and behold, he found everything because he's so lucky. This? PISSED ME OFF.

And before you get all "silver lining" on me, know this. I get it. I dodged a bullet. I am so freaking thankful it's not me dealing with the "after math" come the morning when he's blacked out the night before and doesn't know most of what happened or where most of his things are. I am SO happy about that. However, it still pisses me off that some people can be so stupid about life and still get away without consequences. THAT makes me angry.

Then I see things about girls, pictures with girls, comments by girls. Let's get something straight here. I have said to many people on many occasions, I am very glad, looking back, that I am not with him. He is not the right person for me, and frankly the way he lives his life is so not in accordance with how I want to live mine. What I'm sad about is that I am no longer in a relationship. The relationship I was in, wasn't what I thought it was. I am upset that I spent 2 1/2 years of my life in what I now see was a sham. Through no fault of my own. This makes me angry. I don't want to be with him, I never want to be in any sort of relationship with him. But dammit, that doesn't mean I want him to be in one first! (I know, I'm 12 right now, deal.)

I am angry that I feel as though I'm doing everything right. Placing myself in the right position to be happy in a relationship. I am angry that he is doing everything wrong and still manages to get away in situations that appear to be consequence free. I do realize that while it appears this way, living your life like that will catch up to you (as I believe it has, twice.) I know that while things might not always happen the way you want them to or when you want them to, good things come to those who wait. That I can rest assured I'm doing things the "right way" and that it will pay off in the end. I understand if I wanted to, I could be dating someone. But instead I refuse to compromise my standards and am waiting for something better, something I deserve.

If I'm being entirely honest (which, quite obviously, I am), I'm also a little saddened by the fact that I spent so many months being so angry with and directing so much hate towards his ex-fiance. And now I realize I never truly knew the real story. That there's a good chance some very similar things are being said about me to new girls, that he told me about her. I suppose it's very easy to create a monster out of a stranger.

I do my very best to live life without regrets. I understand that I learned some very clear lessons about life and relationships from the past 3 years. I know that it has changed the way I will function in future relationships and what I will no longer tolerate, what I'm calling my list of "non-negotiables." Three years ago today I met him for the first time in person. I am angry that I have had to put up with what I have over the past 3 years. I'm disappointed that friends and family have been hurt in the process. Truthfully, I'm sad that it seems as though other girls will fall into the same pattern.

But the best I can do now is take those lessons, develop my non-negotiables and move forward. Because there's only one person who controls your happiness and that's you. He took enough of my time, effort, emotion and support. I'm redirecting that to me...and in the future, towards someone who deserves it and will appreciate it.

I'll be back to happy, "whoops I took African Dance" like posts tomorrow - just wrapping up my pity party.

How I accidentally learned African Dance

2011-09-15T11:52:00.003-05:00

If you follow me on the twitter or read my updates on the book, you may already be savvy to the story that I accidentally took an African Dance class over my lunch hour on Wednesday. While many were entertained by this (which I'm always happy to provide) the most common reaction was, "how exactly does that happen?" Although, my pal Brigid did comment that it could possibly be the best status ever...from which I beamed with pride.

So, I figured it's only fair that because I have another communication vehicle that lets me elaborate more than 160 characters, I'd answer that question.

The short version is: I can't read a schedule, am easily convinced and fell victim to a last minute decision change.

The long version is this:

Given my looming punishment of running, I've been doing very well at making sure I get in four workouts a week. One way I'm making sure this happens is fitting in my lunchtime workouts. These are like little treasures I love.

I'm straying here a little bit but stay with me. (I find myself asking you to do that more and more lately.) Post-work work-outs (so many hyphens) are tough because there is almost always something I'd rather be doing. Pre-work work-outs are tough because I hate getting out of bed in the morning, have daily battles with the snooze button, and just pretty much don't work. So there's that. Lunch time work-outs (when they fit and I can sneak away) are fantastical. They clear my mind, pump me full of energy for the afternoon, and are just great little breaks in my day.

So back to the story, I had planned to work out over lunch. I checked the gym's schedule and the lower Bodyworks class I liked so much was at 11:30. Perfect, packed up at 11:20, walked over to the gym, changed and headed to the room where the class was. That's when this other woman starts talking about Zumba. How they've had a hard time finding an instructor, and last week there was a sub who taught this African Dance class, yadda yadda yadda. (This is when I realize I can't read a schedule.) She clearly points out (in a very polite way...polite as in "I could be working with someone special here" polite) that zumba is from 11:30-12:15 and Bodyworks is from 12:30-1:00. Perfect.

But at this point, I'm here, I'm changed, I'm ready to sweat. And she says, "you should totally just stay for Zumba!" (Here's where I'm easily convinced.) I thought, "I was really hoping for strength training, but I like zumba, and I have time...I'm already here! SURE! Let's ZUMBA!"

In walks the instructor. He plugs in his ipod and I hear drums and chanting. Not like "ole!" but more like I'm picturing the open scene to Lion King chanting. The ONLY OTHER person in the room (my friend who helped me read a calendar) asks, "So are you teaching African Zumba today?" and he just giggles and turns around to start class. And this? This is when I think to myself, "Fuck, I'm in an African Dance class."

Two other ladies joined us shortly after class started. But there was at maximum FOUR PEOPLE in the class. Which, if you're picturing this at home, makes you realize how much of an ass I would have felt like if I had peaced out on the class. So there I am, taking an African Dance class. (Note here, the two other woman who joined late, did in fact peace out. I bet they realized they were accidentally taking African Dance too.)

It should be noted here. I'm not a good dancer. I can keep up, I "get" the motions, but there's very little about it that looks natural or even good. But, given my 10+ years participating in and then coaching cheerleading, I function on a 5-6-7-8 basis. I live in the 5-6-7-8. African Dance takes 5-6-7-8 and beats the hell out of it with drums until you no longer can find 5-6-7-8. The instructor calls this "beat changes" and that's what you use to know where you're at in the dance. After 45 minutes, I never found these so-called beat changes.

It should also be noted that I'm a stiff person. As much as I like to think that I'm a damn good hip-hop booty shaker (and I am, in my mind, when I'm alone, in my car), my body doesn't actually move the way I think it does in my mind. African Dance is all about feeling those beat changes and fluid, flowing motions. And again I reiterate, at no point was anything I was doing flowing or fluid. Jerky and awkward at best. There was rolling on the floor (I have bruises to prove it) and another where we emulated elephants. I'm certain nothing I did looked anything like any elephant I've ever seen.

But, here's the thing: I tried something new. I didn't hate it (I don't know that I'll be running back to the class, but I didn't hate it.) The instructor supposedly trained in Africa (which makes it pretty legit given he was a skinny white boy). However, he kept changing things as we were going along, because he made it up as we went. He also seemed pretty into showing off his moves. It's minor complaining, but if you're going to teach a bunch of white girls who think they're in Zumba, maybe you come in with a dance already choreographed and keep it simple. We're all already lost, your fancy moves are only making us feel less capable.

According to my heart rate monitor I burned 415 calories, not bad for an accidental workout. And on Thursday morning, my ass informed me, it had gotten a workout as I walked up and down stairs. So I'll take it as a win.

Plus, I get to say things like, "I accidentally took an African Dance class over lunch."

Revelation: Part Duh

2011-09-13T16:11:00.003-05:00

Give yourself 5 cool points if you know "Part Duh".

Now moving on to the second revelation I've had. Actually, pause right there for a second. Because in the midst of these posts I've had a mini-revelation. That being, I had no idea how to spell revelation, and apparently my fingers disagree with the spell check and keep wanting to spell it "revalation." So there's that.

Moving right along...

Part duh of this revealing process is more me focused than the first. I looked around and found all the reasons people are in relationships. There's a shitload of reasons, naturally, but let's hone in on a few, shall we? Happiness, friendship, comfort, support, and an overall enhanced life. Yes? And while I know someday I'll find some one who I'll have a eleventy billion reasons to be with too. However, I don't have to rely on someone for those things. I can have all those things without being in a relationship. (I know what you're thinking, DUH.) But stick with me.

Happiness? Check. I'm pretty damn happy 99.9% of the time. In general, I'm just a happy person.

Friendship? Have I not mentioned here, on twitter, on the book, in real life, via conversations, I have the best friends and family a girl could ask for? That they're scattered all over this great land and I get to see them and talk to them all the time? Let's call this a big, fat CHECK.

Comfort? Sure, there are times when I'm home alone and there's a spider when I am not comfortable. Or I hear a scary noise when it's very, very dark in the house and I wish I had someone else there with me. But overall, I am, and am getting, quite comfortable with life as it is now.

Support? See "friendship." Oh, and check.

I have those things in my life and I am working on improving them every single day. When I meet "him" in the future, I want him to have those things too. I want "us" to enhance each others' happiness, support network, friends, and comfort. I would be pretty turned off by someone who was waiting around for me to make them happy, give them friends, or be their sole support...so I can't (and won't) expect that out of anyone else.

I might not be actively seeking dates via online dating. But what I am doing is making me the best me I can be. The happiest, healthiest, most wonderful version of Angie I can be on my own. So that when I meet "him" he can enhance instead of having to define me. And by doing so, I think I'll attract people of the same mindset.

So I guess we're full circle, back to do what you love and he'll be waiting.

Here I go!

Revelations galore

2011-09-13T10:49:00.004-05:00

I don't know what it is but I have just been having all sorts of revelations lately. I think it partially has to do with the fact that fall is near. And while it's been a whole five years since I've been starting a new school year come this time of year, after 23 years of school, I guess it's just engrained in my brain. This time of year always makes me feel like we're at a fresh start, maybe even more so than the new calendar year does. It was always a time of change. A new year, a new grade, different classes, different living arrangements, etc. The air changes, the smells change, even our wardrobe changes. So I suppose, given that many years of change at this time of year, it hasn't worn off yet. And I'm okay with that.

So here's a couple of these revelations of change I've been having lately. Not surprisingly (whatsoever) most of these have been in regards to dating. (Mid-post update: I started writing this post and then realized it was a novel. So you're only getting one revelation for today. You'll be thankful by the time you get to the end, trust me.)

I'm no longer messing with the universe.
I get online dating. I understand why people do it. I even understand that in many situations, it works. I suppose, in some fucked up way, you can even say it has worked for me in the past (that is, if we're using "worked" in the loosest sense possible.) But in talking with friends and co-workers recently, I feel like it has led me to feel like I'm messing just a little too much with "the plan." Whether you believe it's God, or the universe, or fate, most people believe there's a plan for our lives. And quite frankly I am starting to feel like I'm interfering with it. (And y'all know, as a huge planner myself, I am NOT a fan of f'ing with any plans.)

What I have always considered the biggest benefit to online dating has suddenly turned into the biggest drawback for me. You can narrow down a big ol' pool in no time at all, using the most specific (read: picky) parameters possible. Essentially, you feel like you're building a pool of elligible bachelors that are all "ideal." Weeding through hundreds and hundreds in a matter of minutes. But how can you really define ideal by those things? Sure I can check a shitload of boxes and end up with men who are all over 6' tall, speak English, graduated high school, have never been married, don't have kids, live within 25 miles of me, have a job, don't drink every day, like sports, stay active, go to church, etc. (Overwhelmed yet?)

But what if I don't even know what ideal is? I mean, let's face it. After 27 years of me selecting men for myself, it hasn't exactly ended up how I pictured it at 13. What if Mr. Ideal is 5'10? What if he's divorced? Or has a kid? Or lives 500 miles away from me? Sure, I could just leave all my parameters open while online dating, but seriously, I'm a little exhausted from weeding through the frogs as it is! And really, if I don't put anything down, isn't that just like dating in real life? It's much easier to "toss out" those guys when I know so little about them. Sure I can see their profile, flip through a couple pictures, but I don't know them.

And really, nothing compares to meeting someone. Surprisingly, I've noticed you learn 100 times more information about someone in just a few minutes of face to face interaction than in a handful of e-mails back and forth. Even though you're specifically information digging in those e-mails. And an experienced online dater has a list of their "get to know you" questions, even with those, nothing, absolutely nothing, compares to interpersonal communication. Interaction. The way people have been falling in love, lust and friendship for years and years.

So this revelation has led me to the (almost 100% decided) conclusion that I'm done with online dating. Everyone who really knows me keeps telling me they don't think this is how I'm going to meet "him". And I'm starting to think the same. Although, I also wonder if not this, then how? But that takes us to tomorrow's revelation...

Updating with no real update.

2011-09-12T10:22:00.002-05:00

It was brought to my attention by my self-proclaimed biggest fan, that if I don't provide an update today it will be a full week without any new posts. This is the double edged sword of posting a lot, the fans start to expect it! (That's right, the fans.)

However, I suppose the reason I haven't posted much is because there isn't much to post. Lately when people have been asking for an "update" on my life, I just keep saying, "It's the same really." or "I've got nothing." I really don't. Things are pretty stable around here with very little changing. And I'm kind of okay with that! I've been mentioning that as we ease into Fall I'm planning on pumping the brakes a little bit and slowing things down and I guess I've begun to do that.

Dating is still pretty much the bane of my existence. The men I've met are continuing to bore me. I'm sorry, I know it sounds harsh and it's probably a smidge mean. But really, I'm bored. I'm so not feeling wowed. For a fleeting moment, I thought maybe I could possibly be intrigued. Then I felt like I was kissing my brother. So that fizzled. That seems to be how this "dating" this is going right now. Which I'm pretty okay with. Oddly enough, a co-worker and my best friend both sent me different quotes / mantras they found that both had almost the exact same quote in it...

"Stop looking for love. Instead, do what you love and he'll be there waiting."

So I'm kind of adopting that as my mantra, and I'm good with it. Not to mention, I just feel like I've been seeing a lot of not so great relationships around me. People who are generally just unhappy (and maybe can't even see it, but it's clear to the rest of us) and it's just not doing much to make the grass look all that greener. Instead I'm finding ways to make me the happiest me I can be on my own. So no matter what, with or without a man, I'm happy as hell. (It's working too...in case you were wondering.)

And for one other update (because really, working out and dating are the only two variables right now!), my ultimatum workout plan. Good news! We are one week further with no threat running!

Last week got a little too close for comfort though! Allergies wreaked havoc on me and my sinuses and my ability to stay awake. Which led to cramming in all 4 workouts in the last 4 days of my week!

Monday-Wednesday: NADA
Thursday: I literally dragged my butt out of bed from a nap to walk. Hated every minute of it, but I did it.
Friday: Spin over lunch, felt great!
Saturday: Long walk with the pup (in which she gave up half way and I almost had to carry all 20 pounds of her home...it was hotter than I thought out. And like me, she doesn't do heat well.)
Sunday: morning Spin class (I almost slept through it and in the last minute I jumped out of bed, changed, brushed my teeth and hauled ass to the gym. I made it and was beaming on my walk out. )

This week looks like this:
Monday: Rest day (4 days in a row warrants one day off, I'd say. Even if it was self inflicted).
Tuesday: Yoga over lunch
Wednesday: Lower Bodyworks over Lunch
Thursday: Possible walk after work / Rest Day
Friday: Spin over lunch
Saturday / Sunday: Bodyworks or Spin (depending on how the wknd plays out).

Also - little disclaimer: Sorry if this whole workout update is boring for any of my "fans", but it does help me feel more accountable. Even if it is just to my internet "friends". And lord knows, I need accountability. I mean I'm threatening myself to work out?!

All my "friends"

2011-09-06T15:45:00.004-05:00

Before I panicked about Blogger's new interface, I did some reviewing of the statistics about my blog. I don't usually check statistics of my blog, because my "fan base" consists of "followers" who I see on a pretty frequent basis. So my statistics usually go something like my mom telling me she read my blog post. Or my friends telling me I don't need to tell them updates because they've already read the post. (Hi friends! Hi mom!)

The statistics did inform me of some searches that have led people to my blog, including my favorite three:

"16 and pregnant is stupid" (that post also got 249 page views, I bet my mom is so proud! Also, my how my opinion has changed.)
"OMG. WTF. FML."
"is milwaukee an indian name"

This made me pretty happy.

However, the discovery that made me the happiest is that Charm City Kim, who's blog was one of the very first blogs I ever got hooked on, has me listed on her Blog Roll under a title that sounds like I wrote it, "Bloggers Who I Pretend I Know in Real Life Because I Read Their Blogs so often…" For serious. I know that at least once, I have referenced something I read on Kim's blog by saying, "One of my friends..." because that's far easier than saying, "Oh, I heard something like that on a blog I read daily, written by a person I have never met, don't know and probably will never know in a real life situation."

So without further ado I give you my list of "Bloggers Who I Pretend I Know in Real Life Because I Read Their Blogs so often…"

Amy of The Book Worm Wife - Though, to be fair, Amy lives in Milwaukee so I suppose at some point it's more realistic I could meet her than the others. Plus she pretty much play-by-played their entire wedding planning process. I was hooked.

John & Sherry of Young House Love - Seriously, I long to have as much creative DIY talent in my whole body as these people do in their right thumb.

Jen of Prior Fat Girl - She lives in Minneapolis and sometimes wishes she lived in Milwaukee, which logically (in my head at least) makes me feel like I pretty much know her in real life.

Rachel of The Life and Lessons of Rachel Wilkerson - I don't remember how I found her but pretty much feel like we're old friends. This girl cracks me up, tells it like it is, and uses words like bangover and sorostitute. What's not to love?

Annie of Hootenannie - If Rachel is my internet friend because she is like me, Annie is my internet friend because she has so many qualities I envy in other people. She's kind and has this quiet but endearing presence. And her words could move mountains, I'm sure of it. Oh, and the girl can sing. (Which I most definitely CANNOT.)

Jessica of How Sweet Eats - As with many of these I'm a fool for thinking I'm introducing you to anything new, but in case you live under a rock and don't know about her. Get on it. She's hilarious, and teaches you to cook delicious delicious things. Sometimes with butter. Often with bacon.

Andrea & Renata of Andrea & Renata - These two make amazing things happen on film (or I suppose now in the digital age it's, "on film"). I still hope I can find a way to consider them Milwaukee is a destination and have them come document my wedding day. However by then I'm certain they'll be too busy photographing famous celebs and their weddings...they're that good!

Katie of From MaGerks to I Dos - Katie, without knowing it, more than once has helped me put my life in perspective when I think the world could be ending from a minor situation. She maintains this positive attitude no matter how much chaos her life has from raising the cutest little girl in the world.

Monday Fake-out.

2011-09-06T15:19:00.002-05:00

So while today is actually Tuesday, because of the holiday it still feels like a Monday. And because of that, I haven't had the chance to string together a coherent thought. So instead, you get randoms.

Blogger tried to change the interface on me. I got so lost I had to abandon this post, start over (using the old GUI) and re-post. Have I mentioned I'm not a huge fan of change?

Someone saw me this morning and told me I looked very cheery. That's abnormal considering I was a) at work and b) it's a fake Monday. I'll take it as a win though.

Update to my ultimatum workout: Last week was a success. I got 4 workouts in (just in the nick of time), meaning I do not have to run this week. Week one down. Running 0, Angie 1.

Sunday after spin I was SUPER sweaty and disgusting but also really wanted Starbucks. So, my super sweaty ass went to Starbucks. While I was there the following conversation happened with a woman in line behind me:

Nicest woman ever: You look like you just got done working out.
Me: Oh, I did. I'm disgusting, it was really hot in the room, but I needed this coffee to keep me going!
NWE: Good for you!
Me: Oh! Thanks (I thought she was politely trying to tell me I smelled, not compliment me).
NWE: No seriously, getting up early on a Sunday morning to work out, that's awesome.
Me: Oh my gosh, seriously, thank you so much! *biggest smile ever on my face*
NWE: Absolutely, well earned!

Related: I'd like to find a way to clone her, then shrink her and carry her around in my pocket...forever.

Plan for this working out this week:
Tuesday: Bodyworks after work
Wednesday: Walk with the monkey
Thursday: Yoga over lunch
Friday: Spin over lunch
Saturday / Sunday: Either bodyworks or spin (depending on which morning I'm more likely to wake up early).

Here's to week two not resulting in running.

Bee in my bonnet.

2011-09-02T10:43:00.002-05:00

Clearly I've got my undies in a bundle about this because I've already bitched on the book AND on twitter and I just haven't gotten it out of my system yet.

I hated when this happened last year and I hate it even more this year. The stupid facebook splattering of the supposed "Breast Cancer Awareness" by faking people into thinking you're pregnant and craving things. Last year it was saying where you hang your purse to make everyone (read: dudes) think you're saying your favorite place to have sex. This year they've taken it up a notch by making people (again, read: dudes) think you're preggers.

I get that it's not malicious, people are just having a good time and think it's cute. Sure, sure. But realistically, it does SQUAT to raise awareness of Breast Cancer. You want to create awareness? Post a statistic, instructions on how to check yourself (before you wreck yourself), locations of where you had your best mammogram? I don't know, do something breast cancer related.

In fact, here's an example:

Women in the United States get breast cancer more than any other type of cancer except for skin cancer. It is second only to lung cancer as a cause of cancer death in women.
Each year it is estimated that nearly 200,000 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer and more than 40,000 will die.
Approximately 1,700 men will also be diagnosed with breast cancer and 450 will die each year.
Young women get breast cancer. It’s a fact, not a myth. And while the chance of developing breast cancer under the age of 40 is lower, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be concerned.
Women should have a clinical breast exam at least every three years starting at age 20 and a yearly mammogram starting at age 40.
Those who have a known risk due to personal or family history should talk to their doctor.

There. That? Heightened awareness. Pretending I'm craving skittles because I'm knocked up? That just confused a bunch of people (everyone knows I'd never crave skittles. :))

You really want to help? Raise some money and do a walk. Feeling super ambitious, raise more money and walk 60 miles. Hell, if you're feeling lazy you can even Sleep in for a Cure and STILL be more helpful than the post on the book.

And that my friends, is my breast cancer awareness.

Small World.

2011-08-31T09:48:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I feel like the world is a whole lot smaller than we think. Last week, my co-worker was chatting with someone at their desk and stopped me as I walked by to introduce me. He's in my role in another line of business and occasionally the marketing teams get together to share all of our super secret marketing things (or you know, "best practices" as they say in the biz.)

As he introduced me the name seemed to strike me, like I knew him or had met him. I sat back at my desk and as I typed out the newly met co-worker's name (to invite him to the meeting of the minds), it seemed even more familiar. I couldn't figure out where I knew it from. He was my age, but I didn't recall him from school or meeting via friends. So, naturally, I asked my mom.

Turns out, after confirming what his parents names were via work IM, his mom and my mom had Lamaze class together 27 years ago! I immediately remembered stories about he and I. He was my first Summerfest date! Our moms brought us to Summerfest when the gates opened at noon, with the promise that they'd leave when we got fussy. Around 8 pm they put us in our jammies. Around 10 pm I was apparently dancing on tables with 40 year olds (at 6 months old in my footy pajamas) and when the grounds closed down at midnight, John & I were passed out cold in our strollers. (Apparently also right by the speakers, so if I ever seem to have sub-par hearing, I think we might know why.)

Yesterday John stopped by my desk with photographic evidence. His mom dug up some pictures from one of our play dates about 26 years ago.

Now that? That is a small world. 27 years later we're in the same role at the same company. (Also, it should be noted...because I know where ALL of your heads are at right now, he is married. So no, it's not THAT kind of ending to the story.)

Positive vs. Negative

2011-08-30T13:06:00.004-05:00

In general, I would say I react much better to positive reinforcement than punishment or anything of the negative variety. That is until we get to working out. See, it's hard to have any reinforcement when you're not changing anything in your routine.

I've been steadily sorta kinda going to the gym. And sorta kinda eating well. Doing both sorta kinda well enough that nothing is changing. Leaving me no positive or negative results. I'm just here...stuck. And while I'd much prefer to just rely on the positive reinforcement of feeling better and losing weight, clearly that hasn't been enough to push me over the sorta kinda wall.

So the other day while eating lunch with co-workers, I announced I had yet again given up on Couch to 5k because I hate it with the passion of a thousand suns. And when my coworker asked me to put it into perspective, I announced that I would rather spend an ENTIRE weekend with two notoriously annoying co-workers of ours who would not be high on the "list of people to hang out with outside of work". That is how much I hate running.

All of a sudden yesterday it hit me! Running - that should be my new negative reinforcement. I've tried the couch to 5k program before and pretty much hated every minute of it. I enjoyed when I could actually run the next week's program, but that high wore off pretty quickly and I returned to hating it.

So here's the plan. Moving forward I have to have some sort of "activity session" 4 days a week. I say "activity session" because I've been walking a lot lately with the dog, trying to soak up as much of the nice weather as possible. And while we typically do at least 2.5 miles or around an hour of walking, I don't necessarily consider it a "workout."

Here's the requirements:

4 sessions of activity a week*
a "session" is defined as at least 30 minutes of moving around / losing my breath
1 session per week should make me sweat my ass off (at least one...the other can just make me sweat a little bit).

Here's the punishment:

Couch to 5k...a FULL Couch to 5k

So, if at any week I fail to complete 4 sessions, the following week I have to pick up the Couch to 5k program and finish it. Meaning I won't get to do the activities I like (Spin, bodyworks, yoga, etc.) and I'll just have to run. FOR 10 WHOLE FREAKING WEEKS!??!

As I told Sukie yesterday, the thought alone makes me want to vom. So I'm pretty sure this plan could work. And to keep accountable, I'll be posting a plan / recap here once a week.

This week's plan has already been altered:
Monday: Weights (didn't happen - was on babysitting duty, then off, then on, then off.)
Tuesday: Yoga over lunch (coworker had a TERRIBLE day, so I've rescheduled to elliptical after work)
Wednesday: Lower Bodyworks & Cardio over lunch
Thursday: Spin Class after work
Friday: Rest Day
Saturday: Bodyworks at 8:30 (or weights on my own)
Sunday: Rest

Dear Universe, please don't make me have to run!

A little like Rainman.

2011-08-23T12:35:00.003-05:00

I feel somewhat like a broken record, because I'm always saying how I'm "trying" to eat better (same goes for working out..but that's not for this post). I really am trying, life sometimes gets in the way (see: the number of cupcakes I consumed at my nephew's 3rd birthday party), but I've been doing alright.

However, this has also made me aware of how much I am a creature of habit. When I find something I like, I stick with it. This used to drive the Ex absolutely crazy, particularly when dining out. My argument was always why fix what's broken? I could try another dish and risk being disappointed. Or I could stick with what I know is good. And always know how it'll end up. I do believe occasionally a risk is necessary and it's good to change things up from time to time. But for the most part, I roll with what I know.

Which means it should come as no surprise to me that I end up a little like Rainman (hey, the guy knew what he liked and what he didn't, I can get on board with that!) I realized this as I took out my garbage on Sunday evening (let's also add that to my "list of times I'd like a boyfriend". Garbage is SO a man's job.)

For the last 3 weeks (almost a month) I have eaten pretty much the exact same thing for breakfast, snacks and lunch. It's reflected in my garbage can. As almost all you see is 2 egg shells together, a filter of coffee grounds, strawberry stems, an empty can of mandarin oranges, pistachio shells, and empty nut tins. Over and over and over again. Some might call this a rut, but I'm perfectly comfortable with it. It's easy, I know what to prep for lunch every day. I know what to expect and I know that I'll like it.

For the past 3 weeks my menu has looked like this (at least on weekdays):

Breakfast - 2 eggs (sunny side up), one small glass of Simply Apple Juice, one cup of coffee
Morning Snack - a handful of Planters NUT-rition Digestive health nut mix..which I'm obsessed with.
Lunch - Mixed greens with grilled chicken breast, strawberries, mandarin oranges (which I just bought in bulk at Sam's Club...SCORE!) and Light Raspberry Vinaigrette
Afternoon Snack - String Cheese, then when I get home I have a handful of pistachios.

And...repeat. And surprisingly I'm not bored at all! Sometimes I get a little crazy and I'll get soup from the Cafeteria to have with my salad. And I'm pretty sure one time I swapped out a banana for the string cheese (and regretted it).

What can I say? I'm a creature of habit and if that habit is healthy AND makes me happy? Then I see no point in changing it! Especially when the alternative is spending lots more money getting food in the cafeteria at work / out and eating whatever I could get my hands on for breakfast / snacks!

In a funk.

2011-08-22T10:39:00.003-05:00

I have been called out for not posting an update recently - so I'm back with an update. Well timed, actually, as I have things I wanted to write about.

First, a couple weekends ago I met a man in a bar. You know, the good old fashioned way. I was out with a friend, he called me boring and we ended up spending the night hanging out with him and his friend. Good times. Went to a movie together the next day. There were less sparks than the night before (related: there was less alcohol too...go figure). Went out with him again this past week and there were even fewer sparks. I get along with him GREAT, we have no awkward silence in conversation and he makes me laugh. He also makes me feel like I'm out with my brother. So there's that. Haven't spoken to him since Thursday and have NO idea what I'm going to do about it. That's my dating life recapped in a nutshell. (Please, try not to be too jealous.)

This past weekend I was in a serious funk. I'm pretty sure I'm out of it now so I'm good to write about it. And out of my funk I came to this revelation...I need more single, unmarried, non-dating friends. That seems more daunting and intimidating than finding men to date. You see, back at the beginning of August, I posted about how I had some slower weeks coming up and I was going to relax and take it easy. And man, have I taken it easy. In some ways, this is good. I haven't had even a nibble of fast food. I've been working out more. I've cooked more and I've slept more than I even care to admit. All good things.

However, I have also driven myself crazy. And this crazy came to a culmination on Saturday night. I love a relaxing weekend as much as the next guy. I used to LOVE coming home on a Friday night, going out to a nice relaxed dinner and then crawling in bed and catching up on tv or watching a movie. Ugh, my fave! However, when you live by yourself and everyone you know has a boyfriend / girlfriend / husband / kids, going out to dinner on Friday night is a solo event. And as comfortable as I am being independent, I don't dine solo in public. So Friday night, I came home, walked the dog, made dinner. And then sat. I read my book. I watched TV. I was bored out of my mind by 7:00 and in bed sleeping by 9:30. Oh well, I thought to myself, I'll be well rested for tomorrow! And that I was.

Saturday, I ran some errands with my mom and had lunch w/ her and my dad. Little did I know, this would be the highlight of my Saturday. I checked in for plans with a few friends. Everyone had plans with their significant other (seriously, EVERY ONE.) So Saturday, I went to the gym, showered, made dinner, read my book, watched tv. Seeing a trend here? Except Saturday I, in true Angie form, over reacted just a pinch. I called my mom and cried about how if I don't find some single friends I'm going to be alone forever and this is what my Saturday nights will look like for the next bazillion years. (I know, just a smidge dramatic.) But really? Not that dramatic.

I have some great friends here and I do love spending time with them. But they have husbands / boyfriends. And I don't expect them to ditch those men frequently. And I also don't expect them to want to try to scope out dudes with me. But I am not going to do it by myself. And dear lord, I've gotta start doing it. I love my animals but I am not ready to accept a life as a crazy cat lady (even with the dog.)

So now I start the process of figuring out how you make new girlfriends. And again, that sounds terrifying and way harder than finding a boy to take me to dinner.

Here goes nothing!

Why brothers have sisters

2011-08-18T11:43:00.004-05:00

The following is an actual conversation between my brother and I.

Me: Tyler, I just called to remind you it's Mom & Dad's anniversary today.
Him: Aw, shit I already talked to Mom.
Me: No worries, so did I before it hit me what day it was. You can still wish them a happy anniversary next time you talk to them.
Him: What is it 26 years?
Me: Tyler, I'm 27.
Him: You're 27?! I thought you were 24.
Me: Tyler! YOU are 23, how could I be 4 years old and only be 24.
Him: I know, I forget how old I am sometimes. The other day I saw a job you had to be 24 to apply for and I thought, "Man, I have to wait 2 more years." Then I remembered I only have to wait 5 months.
Me: TYLER. You're birthday is in April. (8 months)
Him: Damn.

My mom's response, "He never was very good at math."

And on that note...

Happy Anniversary to my mom and dad. For 32 years they have been showing the world how being married is supposed to be done. For the last 15(ish) years they have worked side by side day in and day out together, hell they even drive to and from work together most days. They are a tried and true example of unconditional love and respect. They compromise for the betterment of the whole. They love each other with all they have, but even better, they're each others' best friend.

And above all else, they have absolutely RUINED my brother and I it is nearly impossible for us to find a love as whole, true and honest and built on such a sturdy foundation as theirs is. Although, like I've been telling them for years, if I can end up in a marriage even half as happy as theirs, I'll consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world.

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad! Here's to 32 more!

It's Monday.

2011-08-15T10:52:00.002-05:00

Which automatically should excuse me from having to think. Unfortunately because I haven't found someone to fund my "stay at home non-mom, non-wife" position, I have to work. And work is taking up all my memory, creativity and thinking. So once again you get bullets and random thoughts. (I feel like these are becoming pretty typical around these parts.)

For the third time, while out at a bar, Siobhan and I were told we looked like we were bored. If you've ever met either or both of us, you know we're ANYTHING but boring. We have TONS of fun when we're out...but apparently we have a horrible way of showing it as we're repeatedly told we look like we're bored / having no fun / sad. We're going to work on that.
I'm officially less than 2 weeks away from White Trash Bash, or as I've been affectionately referring to it, WTB, and I have done NOTHING to put together an outfit. I'm going to be shamed if I don't get on this soon.
I'm still stuck on all things country. Including Y'all. But the best news ever - in talking to some people while out (and apparently bored) on Saturday night, someone else used Y'all. A LOT. And he's from "up here" and it didn't sound whackadoodle...It's working.
My dad and I did a lot of research this past weekend into our High School football game in Texas trip. The rest of the family thinks we're crazy. NBD. I'm beyond excited for that trip, whenever it actually happens. (We'll be basing which high school we go see a game at based on the standings at that time.)
My dad is only a little concerned (okay, a lot concerned) about taking me because he fears I won't want to come back with him.
Saw Horrible Bosses last night...that movie was hilarious. Charlie (from It's Always Sunny) was HILARIOUS. Jason Bateman always steals my heart. Jennifer Aniston was SUPER raunchy, but also drop dead gorgeous (quite fetching really) and I want to be her. WAY funnier than I thought it would be.

That's about all for today. I know, struggle.

Things I'm thankful for.

2011-08-11T15:50:00.002-05:00

These things are many and the list is long. However, today's post is not about the wonderful people in my life, the roof over my head or the fact that my animals make me happier than two non-speaking fur-covered "roommates" should. (See what I did there? I used quotes around roommates, there by and henceforth removing me from the crazy cat lady category. Because I put quotes, obviously demonstrating I don't really mean it. SEE?!)

Today I am writing about how thankful I am that camera crews have never followed me around while I've been drinking. This thankful thought was spurred while watching "The Challenge" on MTV last night. (Quality television, I know.) I mean people on reality television act absolutely ridiculous all the damn time. So in general, I'm thankful I don't have cameras following me around 100% of the time. But they drink quite a bit on that show and holy hell, people are obnoxious and annoying when their drunk. And the cameras catch.it.all. I know I like to think I'm not annoying when I'm drunk. I'm definitely not obnoxious.

However, I'm fairly certain everyone on that show and every other reality television show think the same thing..until they (and the rest of The America) watch them on the TV after a few drinks. WOWZA. Obnoxious and annoying all over it.

Also - I like to think I'm pretty capable of handling booze. (Even more so thanks to the Summer of 2011 in which I drank more than I have over the past year as a whole.) However, the fact of the matter is, booze makes you annoying. Oh, it also assists in some relatively not-so-wise decisions. Because I DO NOT have a camera crew following me around, I am able to pretend like I was not annoying and the decisions I made were probably not that bad. (Don't worry mom, 99.9% of the time I'm right and they weren't.) But we all have made those occasional one or two (REALLY mom, that's it. Just one or two) terrible decisions (I'm looking at you Apple River). Thankfully, the booze makes it hazy and we can't recall all the painful details of the situation.

But pause for a second. Imagine this with me...

You're drunk (I know, hard to picture).
You made a piss poor decision (I don't know, maybe one of your friends left you alone...to make decisions on your own. :) )
You wake up and pretend it wasn't that bad.

OH WAIT.

Cameras were there. Many cameras. With microphones. From every angle possible they caught everything you did...and said.

Still picturing that?! Vomit, yes?

Thank GOD my life was too boring for me to EVER be cast on any reality television.

Y'all.

2011-08-10T15:32:00.006-05:00

I want to say y'all. I want y'all to not get you all kinds of crazy stares when said anywhere above the Mason-Dixon. I want y'all to be acceptable in WI...and MN, you know, while I'm asking.

You can say pretty much anything and follow it up with a y'all and still sound like a sweet, hospitable, peach. But not here, not "up North". You say y'all here and people look at like you like you're speaking some sort of martian language. No, no y'all here. Here? We get things like eh? For real...THAT is our y'all?

For example:

a) Y'all come on in and take a seat.

vs.

b) Looks like there's some good seats, eh?

You tell me which one of those conjures up ideas of a sweet welcoming host...and if you choose b) it's probably because you're from "up here".

I'm determined to find a way to make "y'all" appropriate. I'm all about a good mission / challenge. In the mean time, until I make it acceptable, I say it a lot to my animals. They already look at me like I'm crazy but because they can't speak, they can't back up looks with words like people can.

Also in the mean time...I want these things:
Seriously. NEED this shirt.

Found in an Etsy store, via Pinterest*.
You know, for my house, once y'all catches on.

*Where I learn, on a daily basis, about things I never knew I loved / wanted / needed. Oh and cute pictures of babies /puppies / kitties.

Updated: My day was just made, as when I hit publish on this post, the title showed up in the tab of my browser like so, "It is what it is. Y'all." I died. That's so my new thing.

A few of my favorite things

2011-08-08T10:42:00.002-05:00

(this is a long one...bear with me.)

I have had a LOT of great weekends this Spring / Summer. This past weekend ranks up there with the best of them, and in a surprising way. Going into the weekend I had very few plans, in fact, according to my calendar the only plan was for Saturday morning. The rest of the weekend was clear as can be.

Friday after work I went home and brought the monkey to the dog park. We walked the area a few times, she made friends and I got a solid reminder of just how NOT crazy I am, you know, comparatively speaking to the other owners at the park. (Wowza, there are some wackadoodle dog owners that make me look 100% normal.) After she was adequately tired (which takes significantly less time than it used to), I dropped her off and headed back downtown for some much needed catch up time with a friend.

We went out for sushi (which I haven't had in forever!). We eavesdropped (hardcore) on a really random group of 3 who were clearly about to embark on becoming roommates in the near future. They spent the ENTIRE dinner laying down ground rules which covered things I've never even thought of..including, but not limited to, religious rituals in the living room (and when they are and are not appropriate), friends becoming long-term tenants, cats, when the bathroom would be "reserved" for some post-jujitsu necessities / bowel movements (we couldn't figure that out either), the imperative situation of closing BOTH toilet lids (yes, there was clarification on whether it was the seat or the seat and the lid), and so much more. It was beyond entertaining, and we both agreed we were destined to be so lucky to over hear it all. We'd also like a reality show created about this situation.

Saturday morning I was up bright and early to help out at the Rally Rouser for the newest Proud Gophers of WI! The area alumni chapter (of which I now belong) puts together a picnic each fall for the Milwaukee area U of MN students. It's a little send-off picnic in which they can talk with alumni & current students, as well as their fellow freshman. Parents can chat about how sad it is that they're losing their babies. And at the end we raffle off a bunch of prizes for things on campus!

I was nervous about going as I knew literally NO ONE there. I had never met anyone before and I just got a little anxious about the whole thing. However, I could not have been happier I went. It was just a fantastic chance to talk non-stop about the University I love so dearly. The city that provided me with some of the very best friends a girl could ask for. And the school that served as the backdrop for 4 of the very best years of my life. There was more than one time where I had to step back and just observe it all. This was also a chance for me to remind myself how inappropriate it would be to walk up to all 75 future freshman and shake them screaming, "DO YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE?! YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT TO GET A HUNDRED TIMES MORE INCREDIBLE FOR FOUR STRAIGHT YEARS!??!?!" (I didn't do that...in case you were wondered / worried.) I got to meet great area alumni and am now 100% excited to start helping plan more alumni events in the area. It was just awesome. I loved every minute of it. I was even told at the end what a "shame it is I don't know how to come out of my shell just a little bit" which was COMPLETELY sarcastic and made me smile knowing I was 100% myself during the whole thing!

Finally, Sunday was spent as it was built to be. At my parent's house in the pool. I got there earlier than usual, Mom promised a recipe experiment for breakfast. With season 1 of FNL in tow (per Dad's request), we watched a couple episodes while we waited for the sun to come back out. I put on my "Chicken Fried" playlist and we made our way outdoors. Swimsuit & sunscreen on, raft floating, country music playing and total relaxation with my parents. It's the stuff perfect days are made of. We floated around all day, chatting, snoozing, and in my case burning my skin (Sae don't worry, I burned my back this time). Once the sun had taken it's toll we headed back inside, mom made dinner and Dad and I cried through two more episodes of Friday Night Lights (seriously, gets me EVERY TIME). Ty stopped by for dinner as the day came to a close.

Not many big plans were in store for this weekend, but I am back to work today feeling recharged, re-focused, and ready to take on the world. And thanks to the people and events of this weekend, I am reminded that these weekends are just as important as those full of pre-planned activities.

Damn you, Friday! / I have a problem

2011-08-05T09:33:00.003-05:00

I couldn't decide which direction to go with this post so I went with both. That's just how today is. Also - before I even get into it, I'd like to acknowledge NOTHING that has happened today is terrible, life changing, or likely to even matter in 5 days. However, today? In my world RIGHT NOW? It matters. Not life and death matters, but like "want to pout and cry about it" matters. And, because this is my blog, I can do that. So there.

Today is Friday, however my Friday is clearly pretending to be a Monday! First, I slept through my alarm which means I didn't get to straighten my hair which means I'm a frizzy curly mess again. And I also didn't have time to make my eggs so I had to skip breakfast. In my hurry trying to get out the door, I was multi-tasking and trying to text while taking the dog out. She pulled on her leash, the leash that was in the same hand as my precious phone. My fingers released and down went my phone. Down to the hard cement garage floor. FACE DOWN. I knew the second it hit the screen had shattered.

This is where we go into the post within a post into the I have a Problem part. And actually it, should say problems. Because it's really two fold. One, I have an obsession, no addiction really, to my phone that I can't shake. I called my mom immediately after picking up my phone and was almost in tears. THAT IS DISGUSTING. Oh, also (in case you're not sickened yet) I said the words, "I feel like I just broke my friend." Even now, just a mere hour and a half later, through clearer eyes, I can see what a problem that is.

The second problem is that I get inordinately attached to inanimate objects. I may have shed a tear when I had to clean out my Jeep to trade her in. I get a little anxiety each time I have to upgrade my phone. I'm excited for the new one, but I'm so comfortable with the old. Probably goes back to my aversion to change.

So back to my Monday-ish Friday. I called Sprint, who apparently has their own aversion, to quality customer service. James, at Sprint, had no pity for my loss of a friend I incurred this morning and informed me that I'm the only phone on our plan without insurance. Which, by the way, is bullshit. Just plain bullshit. Even though I'm the most careful with my phone (because I occasionally think of it as my lifeline) I sincerely doubt we'd ever insure EVERY PHONE BUT MINE.

Then I left my lunch at home on the counter. I was too preoccupied by the shattered screen apparently. My breakfast was also packed in my lunch. I thought I left it out in my car so I went back and checked, sure enough it's on the counter at home. Gracie is probably enjoying some delicious string cheese as you read this. (Obviously an exaggeration...she doesn't have thumbs. I occasionally have a hard time getting that thing open, I'd be quite impressed if she could. She doe have razor sharp teeth...so there's a chance.)

All I'm saying is that it's now 9:45 and I'd be pretty happy if the day turned around. I've got plans with a friend tonight and she's already guaranteed a stiffy.

Get your mind out of the gutter - she promised a stiff drink. Sometimes you're so gross.

Thursday thoughts.

2011-08-04T09:37:00.004-05:00

It's Thursday which means it's almost Friday...hallelujah.
Yesterday as I was reaching for my keys in my purse I thought to myself, "Sometimes the bottom of my purse is like the deep end of the pool. (Stick with me here...) I KNOW what's at the bottom of it, but I'm always a little scared just in case I DON'T know what's at the bottom."
Given that "jeans days" are a FREE perk for a company to provide, I'm disappointed my company gives us 6 of them for the WHOLE summer. Lame.
Last night one of my very best friends told me really reassuring things that made my face & heart smile. She also gave permission to keep on keepin' on with this fun Angie. So there's that.
When explaining that I needed a REALLY solid outfit for an upcoming White Trash Bash, my friends came up with some ideas of how to make a "lazy version" of the outfit. I responded by showing them a picture of the Host of the party in pink, zebra print spandex stirrup pants....explaining that that was him on a random Sunday. They understood then that I have competition to keep up with.
I consider myself lucky to be able to pull up a picture of a friend in that outfit. My friends are fun.
I have been doing pretty good at this whole no processed stuff. I had a little bit last night (friend made dinner so I graciously ate what she cooked) but so far all I have had that's processed is dinner last night! Since Monday! *Patting my own back* *tooting my own horn*

Self-imposed Detox

2011-08-02T10:00:00.003-05:00

So after going on and on and on (seriously are you sick of it yet!?) about how much fun I am...I am also realizing my brain, liver and bank account are BEGGING for this fun Angie to slow down a little bit. I had a conversation with the high school Ex - who's also going through a Great Break-up of 2011 of his own - and we both agreed, it had to happen, but we'll be paying off the Summer of 2011 for some time. I don't regret a single part of it, it's exactly what I needed and I have grown a TON from it. I'm so much better off than I ever thought I could be given the circumstances. However, at some point, I probably have to start acting my age just a little bit more. I'm not talking pulling in the reigns entirely or even cutting back on things forever...I'm just sayin' a little more control and will power wouldn't hurt.

So, given that I have a little lull in plans for a few weeks here, I am imposing a detox on my life. I'm not going crazy and I will absolutely NOT be drinking cayenne pepper lemon water for 3 weeks. (Do you even know me?!) But I need to just curb things in a little, make some minor changes and carry them out for an extended period of time. (Turns out, eating healthy for the 3 days of the week that are sandwiched between trips and vacations doesn't equal out to much of a healthy diet at all...who knew?!)

So this week, specifically, (because it follows last weekend, which we've already discussed was about as unhealthy as I could have gotten) I'm focusing some serious attention. For at least this week (longer if I choose) I am eating NOTHING processed. Only whole, clean foods. This is something I've tried to focus on but lost along the way with all these trips and using as little will power as possible. After this week, the occasional refined sugar and processed food can make it's way in, but I need to cleanse the beer batter...and beer for that matter...out of my system. I'm also not drinking a drop of alcohol for at least a week. And I am working on not being even slightly drunk until the end of August (the next MN trip). After my sober week, the occasional beer will be drank, but not to an excessive amount. I will get back to working out at least 4 times a week through the end of August, I'm hoping then it will return as a habit, something I don't even think about.

It's time to start preparing for Fall, when I told myself I had to start acting my age again. Just weaving in a teeny bit more responsibility than I have been including this Summer.

Silver, Stumble, Struggle

2011-08-02T09:43:00.003-05:00

This past weekend, I was honored by my lovely friend Amy to receive an invitation to join her ridiculously fun group at a little place called Silvercryst in Wautoma, WI. I was promised drinking, boating, sun and fun and let me tell you, the weekend did not disappoint. Given that I'm super fun this summer, I immediately said I was in..that is of course after Sae said she was going. So I took a half day of work on Friday, packed up my car and made the 2.5 hour voyage up to this magical "Silvercryst" place I had only heard of. My suitcase was packed with minimal clothing and 3 swimsuits. I had only flip flops for shoes and had zero intentions of showering. It was my kind of weekend from the start.

Let me just reiterate, this weekend did not disappoint.

The "resort" is in a teeny, tiny town - which I have a total special place in my heart for. They're so quaint and adorable...I just love small towns and all that comes with it. We stayed in the "fancy" side of the "resort." The beach was about 50 feet from the room, which is a good thing, as I'm fairly certain we wouldn't have been capable of travel much further. Amy's family has a sick boat that we spent a fair amount of time on. There were boys, booze and fried foods all on a beach. And because I'm pretty sure I might still be recovering, you're getting a quick list of my highlights.

It was no more than 5 minutes after my arrival I was in my suit, in a lake and beer in hand...I got to have a delicious fish fry...after promising Amy via our bonded handshake I took a power nap and returned to the party...there were a number of ridiculous outfits from Goodwill including my "Masters" Jacket...Sae tried to wakeboard like a small child, it didn't go well...Amy's grandma offered cherry vodka...there were crazy cool medallions...we ate breakfast while being watched by a family portrait...there were roughly 3,454 glasses of beverage on a table for 5 people...Sae started a gang...Zack shot Amy...We crammed about 239 people into the smallest sand bar ever...Amy sliced open her brothers lip, he turned into Hitler...I found out I love Vodka & Soda...we did shot skis...we did shots not on skis...when I couldn't find gum, I did shots of Dr...we danced to the worst band in the history of bands...they had groupies...I met a coworker I had been emailing for a year...I bought them shots...we found a man so tall that with Sae on Zack's shoulders she was only slightly taller than him...I slept in a bed with so much sand I woke up exfoliated in the morning...and then just 2 days after I arrived, it was time to pack up and leave...gatorade & regular coke in hand.

It started as Silvercryst...moved to Stumblefest...became Struggle fest...then repeated itself.

I had a blast and am already looking forward to next year. That is, if Amy's mom and the committee approve my attendance. I'm being only slightly penalized for my power naps.

I'm Hungry!

2011-07-27T12:47:00.003-05:00

I got some surprise time with my nephew this week when my brother needed a last minute babysitter. And because ANYTHING is more fun than running, but ESPECIALLY hanging out w/ Joey, I said yes!

We met my parents for dinner (because as a general rule, we try our best to share time we get with that little man.) Not only did he ask to sit by me, he also repeatedly called me homey, which I was trying to teach him like a year ago. (Which proves my theory that he plays dumb when he wants to but he remembers EVERYTHING.)

As we got our food, he turned to us and said, "I'm HUNGRY." Emphasis on the hungry...as if he hadn't eaten in years.

I asked my parents, "Do you think he knows he's hungry or he's just saying that because before anyone gives him food we always ask, 'Joey are you hungry?'"

Both my parents responded with resounding certainty that he definitely knows when he's hungry. Definitely.

So after he downed almost an entire full size plate of butter noodles, half of my french fries, and 2 large pickles I was surprised he still wanted to take me up on my offer for some frozen yogurt. But as promised (and as is our ritual when it's just Joey & Angie) we went and got some frozen yogurt. I was even more surprised when he ate almost the entire cup (I had about 3 bites, but was for the most part, too busy trying to keep ice cream off his clothes, the floor, the chair, me, etc.)

As we walked out of the frozen yogurt store, he looked across the street and locked eyes with the Domino's and loudly proclaimed,

"Ooooh! Pizza! I'm HUNGRY."

No, no he definitely DOES NOT know when he is hungry.

Broken record

2011-07-27T09:47:00.006-05:00

I have nothing new and exciting to say. Seriously, I wrote 4 paragraphs of a new post and realized it was NOTHING new. There was some talk about how I've been so busy this summer and how I like it. BORING. Then I talked a little bit about how I'm getting back into eating healthy and working out (couch to 5k for like, the fifteen time, and yes, I still don't like running). BEEN THERE. I even mentioned Friday Night Lights*. SHOCKED YET?!

I have nothing new to share. I'm a broken record and for the past couple weeks, life has been pretty routine. Nothing new or shocking or crazy to share.

Oh, except this ridiculously complicated recipe my mom found for a homemade body scrub. It was part of her incredible idea for a gift for my BFF this past weekend. We're all about the theme gifts...like "kits" if you will. So we made a relaxation kit. There was tea, a candle, a loofa and this homemade body scrub. Ready for how hard it is??

Get a jar.
Put a bunch of raw sugar in the jar. About 3/4 full.
Squirt a bunch of baby oil into the jar, till it's almost full.
Add some vitamin E capsules (poke a hole in them and squirt into the sugar & oil mix).
Stir it.
Slather it all over your body, rub it in and then rinse it off.

Your skin will be as smooth as a baby's bottom (and kind of smell like one too...a clean one of course.)

I made some for myself and it's pretty awesome, given that it cost about $3 and took all of 2.5 seconds to make!

So there, that's what I have for you. Guess I'm not that boring after all!

Oh, one more thing. I was informed by Rebecca she needed to google Tim Riggins** (prompted by my incessant rants about him, I'm sure). It saddened me that there were people out there who had not yet been exposed to the beauty that is Tim Riggins, so I figured I'd share with the rest of you. (all the pictures are borrowed from the google...)

*At some point I promise to stop mentioning FNL, Tim Riggins, Coach Eric Taylor and the like. Not entirely, but definitely I'll stop mentioning them every day...probably even every week at some point. This is a full fledged life impression taking place here people. We're talking Free Willy, Dangerous Minds, Center Stage kind of impression. I'm pretty sure I was destined to be a coach's wife. It's basically like the whale adoption all over again.

**It's important (actually the opposite of important in the grand scheme of things) that I clarify it's not Taylor Kitsch I'm clearly in love with. It's Tim Riggins. Which is the saddest of love stories. You know, given he's a fictional character. Woe. is. me.

Random thoughts.

2011-07-26T10:49:00.003-05:00

Another day I'm unable to form a coherent post of paragraphs that are related to each other.

People are assholes sometimes, this I've accepted. Except when you're an asshole to my family. Then I'm closer to rage from the very bottom of my toes than acceptance. Consider yourself warned, a-hole.

People are dropping like flies. And by this I, of course, mean they're all getting married. Yup, more and more people getting engaged while I'm here falling deeper and deeper in love with Tim Riggins. Seems about right.

Sending me an e-mail in which both the subject and the message are ONLY "Hi there cutie" will get you nowhere...fast.

I can't stop hitting my snooze button. Seriously I don't even pick up the phone anymore...I just tap my finger around the screen until it hits the area I need to make it stop. Then I think, "Jackpot!" and sleep for 10 more minutes. This is becoming a problem.

There *may* be a relation to my deep seeded love affair with Tim Riggins and my use of the snooze button. I also *may* have yelled "Bullshit! One more episode" when the "last episode" played last night...I was supposed to go to bed by 10. Whoops.

I'm slowly becoming obsessed with roasting chickens. As in, I want to find a hundred ways to roast them and then do so daily.

Also on my list of obsessions, Pinterest. I know most people are using it as a way of filing style options, wardrobe pieces, fun DIY projects, etc. I am primarily using it to file away pictures of cute and snuggly animals. Then when I'm angry or in general need of a pick me up, I look at a raccoon carrying a kitten and all is right in the world.

I have come to realize over the last year that more so than not being a fan of change, I am a big fan of consistency. I don't care if you don't like me, just don't pretend to sometimes like me. Be consistent. I don't mind if you're always a dick, but don't sometimes be nice. Be consistent. I'm fine with you ignoring me, but don't SOMETIMES pay attention and then ignore me. Consistency people, use it.

That's about all I can muster for today!

10 Lies I'll tell you about this weekend

2011-07-22T12:30:00.002-05:00

1. I am not dreading the fact that I have to fit in 2 workouts at some point because I was lazy this week.

2. I will absolutely be shocked if my boss tries to contact me via a personal contact number at some point.

3. I will not do anything in my power to make my brother smile.

4. Sunday will not be spent moving as little as possible. I will stay out of the sun 100% of the time.

5. My mom and I are definitely NOT planning on making not one, but TWO recipes that have butter in the title. (Seen here and here, in case you're also interested in NOT making them. Thanks to the lovely Jessica from How Sweet Eats for those.)

6. I do not intend on getting silly drunk with my best friends to celebrate one of their birthdays.

7. There will most definitely, absolutely NOT be multiple episodes of Friday Night Lights watched.

8. There are zero trips to Goodwill planned to scope out key pieces for a potential costume I'll need in August.

9. No country music will be played, subsequently I will NOT be thinking about marrying a cowboy and living happily ever after.

10. I will not be counting down the seconds until I can leave and get these lies started!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

2011-07-19T07:33:00.002-05:00

You're about to find out what it means to me.

When my brother and I were little, my parents treated us with the same respect they gave adults. They explained to us that if you want someone to respect you, you have to respect them first. That adults should treat kids with respect too. I believe this is one of the best things they ever could have taught us. Our family might not be "traditional" by definition, but respect is something we have always had, hold in the utmost importance, and give to each other constantly.

You can, given this story, imagine how frustrating it is when I feel as though I'm not being respected. If from a young age, you're told that in order to get respect you must give it, it's infuriating when someone doesn't play by the same rules. And whether or not your parents have reinforced this same lesson of respect, we have all been told repeatedly of the golden rule.

Sometimes people get into a place of power and authority and somehow completely forget about that lesson. They lose all touch with the reality of how they would like to be treated, and their focus becomes strictly about themselves. This is one of the most unfortunate outcomes from success I have seen to date in the corporate world. It becomes very difficult to respect someone who is "higher up" than you on the wonderful corporate ladder, when they do not treat you with respect or appreciation.

Because this is a public platform and people could find this...I refuse to go into extensive detail. However, I will say this...If you're ever interested in REALLY making me angry and / or losing just a wee bit of respect from me? Call my personal cell phone (I have a work cell phone for this VERY reason), on a Saturday afternoon. And then? Then, when I tell you I am at a wedding and can't talk...continue to text me until 9:30 p.m.

That my friends makes for one ANGRY Angie. I have said it before and I'll say it again, I will give 110% when I am at work, but don't you dare F with my weekends. I am not one of "those" people. I have zero interest in working all hours of the night / weekend. If this is what it takes to be at the top of the ladder, I don't want to be there. I may not have kids now, but it doesn't mean I don't have a life outside of work. And someday? I will have kids, and when I do, I refuse to be the mom who can't leave her phone / computer.

I work to live, not live to work. This does not make me lazy or any less of a hard worker.

*Steps off soapbox*

Weekending...

2011-07-18T08:31:00.002-05:00

For being one of my "low-key" weekends, I actually did quite a bit.

I watched the Friday Night Lights series finale with my dad. He cried. I sobbed. It was the most perfect series ending...EVER.

I had my first sleepover with my nephew. I was SUPER nervous, he was not nervous at all. He was angel. We watched three pixar movies and slept in the "big bed." I had more fun than he did. In the morning we went to McDonald's, Target and the Park before I had to give him back to his parents. Can't wait for the next one.

I met my cousin's baby (still not sure what that makes us).

I saw one of my oldest friends get "married" or, actually, celebrate the fact that she was already married. (This was a post-destination wedding "at-home" reception.)

I got accidentally drunk. Snuck up on me.

My boss sent me texts about work to my personal phone at 9:30 on a Saturday evening, AFTER I told her I couldn't answer her calls because I was at a wedding. (There will be more about this later...when I'm less angry).

I got PISSED. But proudly did NOT respond with drunken texts back telling her the things I was saying out loud. I'm so grown-up sometimes.

My brother downloaded a bunch of new music for me (that he would NEVER admit to having) and I just added 6 new albums to my ipod, including Jason Aldean & David Gray. My ipod is now oozing sexy.

I went to bed at 7:30 on Sunday, watched 2 episodes of Season 1 of FNL and was sleeping by 9:30. Much needed.

All out of juice.

2011-07-15T13:38:00.002-05:00

I was a posting machine earlier this week, I am officially running out of creative juices. My work projects are suffering today too...I can't get my thinking cap on straight today!

So instead of a cohesive story telling, list including post you're use to this week, you're just getting random thoughts that have gone through my head the last few days.

Sometimes I like to think my Pandora station has a headquarters somewhere with little elves (or people, I guess it could be just regular people) who are picking out what song to play next on my station. They applaud when I give it a thumbs up. This product of my imagination makes me feel a little guilty when I give a song a thumbs down.

I have been fully immersed in "Texas Forever" this week. I'm re-watching Friday Night Lights Season One, in preparation for the Series Finale tonight. Though, realistically nothing can prepare me for that. I'm devastated. I've been listening to country music all week after the rodeo celebrations last weekend. I'm basically a Texan this week. Basically.

I believe I am still catching up on sleep and energy from last weekend. I have had a hell of a time getting out of bed this week and, subsequently, have been rocking the curly hair all week long. Which, as I informed my co-workers long ago, means I'm being lazy.

I did get back on the workout horse though. 3 days already knocked out this week and I plan on going for a walk after work tonight and some classes tomorrow! I knew I could get back to it if I really tried...the last two weeks I wasn't trying...or caring.

I signed up to adopt a soldier today. I blame the show Surprise Homecoming.

I'm a full fledged coffee addict. Somehow it happened. I can't pinpoint when, but I realized yesterday that every day around 3:00 I day dream about how amazing that cup of coffee is going to be tomorrow morning. (I tried to prevent this addiction. I only allow 2 cups, one while I'm getting ready and one on the way to / when I first get to work. Once those are gone it's back to water.)

This coffee addiction is the EXACT reason I refuse to every try cocaine. I've got a ridiculous addictive personality and I'd be a full blown coke head in no time. Well, that and it's expensive and can kill you. You know, those reasons as well.

Someone said to me today, "Yeah, well if *I* picked out someone for you to date, I bet they wouldn't urinate on your car" as a way of proving their ability to choose men better than I can. This is both factual and historical evidence against my abilities. Sad, but also very, very true.

Related: I saw a quote today about how if you make a mistake once, it's a mistake. Make it again, and it's a choice. I have learned my lesson and only ever chosen ONE person who would pee on my car. So there's that. I'm learning.

I'm over Emily Giffin. Seriously I was HOOKED (see?! Addictive.) for a while. I read all but one of her books in the matter of 2 months. I have not read this many books in the last 2 years (maybe an exaggeration...but also, maybe not.) But I cannot for the life of me care enough to finish the last 5 chapters of the one I'm reading now. I'm over it. I mean, REALLY?! How many books can I read about cheating spouses?! I'm also convinced she's cheated on her husband or been cheated on by him. Her books are BASICALLY just details of her life put into the plot. Why does she know so much about cheating? Or at least like writing about it so much?! I imagine her husband cheated on her and this is his punishment. She writes about it in all her books and makes millions off of it. Could just be me...

So there ya go. I've said it before and I'll say it again...that brain of mine is an odd place to be sometimes!

Happy weekend all.

Tested.

2011-07-11T10:32:00.007-05:00

"We must carry this in our hearts, that what we have is special, that it can be taken from us, and that when it is taken from us, we will be tested. We will be tested to our very souls. We will all be tested."
-Eric Taylor, Friday Night Lights

Yes, I started this post with a quote from Friday Night Lights. Yes, Eric Taylor is VERY insightful. Yes, I'd like to marry Eric Taylor. And yes, the series is ending next Friday. No, I do NOT want to talk about it.

But I did hear this quote last night (as I'm re-watching the entire first season in hopes of lessening the blow of it all being over), and I loved it. I like the idea that when things change, when something no longer goes according to plan, it is a test. And I try my hardest, to rise to the occasion and pass those tests.

Every year on my parent's anniversary, as the reflect on all those years together, my dad always responds with "Who'da thunk it?" My mom then responds with, "me. I did. When I made the vow to love you forever, I 'thunk' that we'd be celebrating X number of years together." This makes me laugh...every. single. year.

As I embark on month number 5 post break-up, I'm having a little who'da thunk moment of my own. As I walked through the Milwaukee airport (for the sixth time since April), it struck me just how much I've done since that life changing day in February. Sometimes I believe life makes events like that happen to remind you to live your life. To take advantage of what you've been given. To not get too comfortable with where you are, or at least not to the point where you forget where or who you could be. I was comfortable. I was set. I knew what my life would be for every day moving forward...and then with one brief phone conversation, I didn't.

I still don't. I have no idea where I'll be this time next year. I have no idea who I'll be with, if anyone. I don't know where I'll be living, what I'll be doing or even what I'll want to be doing. And because of this I have started taking advantage of opportunities. I have DONE STUFF. I am doing my best to pass this test. To come out of this a stronger, smarter, BETTER version of me. I know that in times like this the best thing you can do for yourself is be a little selfish. Figure out what you want, who you are and where you want to go....strictly based on YOU.

I have been to Minnesota more in the last four months than I was the entire last year. I've been to Chicago twice. I've done more new things in Milwaukee than I have in the last few years put together. I've tried new things, gone new places and opened my horizons.

I threw a frat party with some of my most responsible friends in one of the nicest houses I know. I saw plays in Chicago with my mom and drag shows in Chicago with friends. I've seen concerts of new artists in different places. I went to a wedding and didn't cry because I was alone. I taught my nephew the word douchebag on accident. I had a crush on a new man. I kissed a boy. I got over another boy. I've gotten butterflies and I've gotten angry. I've coerced a man off a roof & threw beers to another in a tree. I've had a sleepover with 10 people over the age of 25 on a basement floor. I've watched the sun come up...twice. I started drinking coffee. I kill my own bugs at home. I created new routines (Spin & Target Sundays being my favorite). I have phone chats with friends who are far away. I've read 4 books in 2 months. I've been on dates. I've started being more honest, with myself and others.

I've fought with friends. I've cried. I've laughed a LOT more. I know there's more to this test, that after this there will be more tests, but right now, I'd say I'm on track to pass.

Block Party / Rodeo 2011

2011-07-11T10:12:00.004-05:00

Seriously, I have been having some serial fun lately. Back to back weekends of ridiculous amounts of fun at events that are just too good to be true.

After working 3 days post-summerfest weekend, I was off again and headed back to my beloved Minneapolis. I believe this may be as close as I ever come to having an affair. I love Milwaukee with all my heart. It holds my family, some of my dearest friends, and 20+ years of memories. It will always be my home. Milwaukee is my stable partner, been there through thick and thin. And if that's the case, then Minneapolis is my younger, edgier, lover. My risky, crazy, release my wild side lover. And I am clearly in the middle of quite the affair right now. I love them both dearly.

My flight got in at 4:15 and by 5:15 I had a beer in my hand on the patio of Brit's. Damn do I love that place. I'm still holding out that that might be where I meet my accent-having, future husband from across the pond. We enjoyed some beers and conversations (and subsequently some air conditioning as it was H-O-T hot out there), before heading to the Basilica for the 2011 Block Party. After living in MN for four years, and visiting many summers after, I am shocked I had never been to Block Party before, as it's something right up my alley. (I have a VERY large place in my heart for music festivals with city skylines as the backdrop.) We tried one year but then right before the party was to start, Armaggedon-esque storms rolled in and we opted for some safe drinking indoors.

I made a quick pit stop with Tori to see my beloved Ted. An old friend from college, who my other half in a relationship few understand. He will always be one of my very best friends, regardless of distance and time between visits. For the first time ever we talked about the supposed night I professed my love to him and the questionable "grabbing" incident in Chicago. We caught up as quick as possible, as Tori and I had to get over to the show.

And a show it was. Dear LORD, David Gray is one sexy man and his music is straight baby-making music. Somehow Sae and Gina, two of my very smallest friends, managed to finagle their way up to practically standing on the stage. We were ridiculously close. And David serenaded me all night long. (Okay, he sang to a crowd of hundreds for a couple hours, but that's what it FELT like.) It was a fantastic concert and I've been craving his music since. Post-concert, after some how losing Gina, we stopped at the Newsroom for some delicious eats before calling it a night. (A night where somehow I yet again chose the wrong shoes and ended up with feet that wanted to make me cry.)

We slept in and relaxed on Saturday because we knew what was coming. Gina and I fueled up with some Chipotle before heading home to prep for a night I've been looking forward to for the past 3 years. The Post Hamel Rodeo Party at Inn Kahoots. I had my first rodeo experience back in 2008 and have been telling stories from it since. And this year did NOT disappoint. Once again I ended the "night" be watching the sun come up. We drank, we danced, we laughed (a TON). And because it was still 89 degrees at 10:00 we sweat our asses off. There were beautiful men dressed in their best cowboy impression (something that DEFINITELY works for me). Thanks to Sae's fantastic in-laws we had a good old fashioned basement floor sleepover only to wake up to a deliciously prepared breakfast. I heard way more than I'd like to ever hear again of R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet...I saw Jeanie have to put up with what I can only describe as a Dougie molestation...I perfected the creation of ice water...Learned about Jeanie's special sauce...Got translation of what the birds were saying at sunrise (It's "I'm going to take a mother f'n bath"...if you're wondering)...Shuffled for 27 minutes straight...Ate a porkchop on a stick at 5:30 a.m....Learned the difference between "the worst" and "the worst, Voldemort included"...witnessed cuddling with just hands...learned boys should still kill the bugs, even if their sleeping..."went" to the worst strip club ever...and saw one of my best friends (who's also one of my BFF's husband) in hot pink zebra stirrup pants.

I hope Sae's in-laws let us still have sleepovers on their basement floor when we're 30.

And the tradition rolls on - Part III

2011-07-11T09:50:00.002-05:00

Saturday & Sunday

Because I have been SO much fun lately, I'm doing the re-cap of Saturday & Sunday together so that I can start posts recapping this weekend's events. (Block Party & Rodeo2011 need their own posts, too much fun for one.)

Also - I would split this post up a bit with pictures, but I'm never the one taking them. So imagine them in your mind, okay? Okay.

Saturday

Saturday morning we got another early start. My parents and nephew joined us for breakfast at my house before we headed out for our day of tours! We arrived a little late for the Miller Park tour so we ended up having to wait an hour for the next tour. Which was clearly the universe intervening and giving us the best case scenario. Instead of a quiet (and cranky) old man as our tour guide. We got the wonderful Louise. She was full of random knowledge and had fun made up phrases for everything, including gooju (for a goosegg on your head) which my dad and I thoroughly enjoyed. She made the supposed 75 minute tour last about 2 hours. It was hot but we got to see the whole stadium, including on the field, in the dugout, locker room and press box. I also learned many opportunities for wedding events...which have been filed in my brain folder "When I Get There..." This is also where Tori guessed an answer to a sports related question and got it right...prompting her desire later (after many more beers) to look into a career with ESPN. One of my favorite memories from the day.

After the Miller Park Tour, we made a stop at Stubby's for some lunch (which we were desperate for at this point...a 2 hour tour in a non-air conditioned stadium on a 90 degree day sure takes it out of you!). Over beers and BBQ we were able to regain the energy we needed for tour part deux. (Consider part deux foreshadowing for the Rodeo2011 post...) We were off to Lakefront Brewery! I have a special place in my heart for Lakefront and was very excited to share it with my friends. We all loved the tour (had a HILARIOUS tour guide, who taught us what a reach around is...a common courtesy if you're wondering), and after our 4 free beers were well on our way. This was definitely one of the highlights of the weekend for me. Sitting with some of my favorites and my parents just reminiscing on years past and things to come in the future. Following the tour, the 4 OG's (original gangsters for you not in the know...) were ready to take on Summerfest. After a HILARIOUS mishap with deodorant in the car (thanks Dad for patiently driving our drunk asses around!!) we made a quick stop at Branded at the Iron Horse before heading to Summerfest! After a visit to the Ethnic Village for some eats, we made our way South. We split up for a bit, Gina & myself at Phil Vassar at the newly renovated Briggs & Stratton stage (love it!) and Ben & Tori off to Maroon 5. We wrapped up the night in a taxi van back to Waukesha.

Sunday
Sunday is another tradition laden part of this weekend. We headed out west to the Elegant Farmer (one of the other rituals that has been included nearly every year of the 8 total). As usual, baked goods and cheese curds were acquired. Then it was off to the Nikolas house for our celebration of America. Gina provided the decor (lots of flags & red, white and blue). Mom made breakfast, lunch and dinner. All absolutely delicious, as expected. We ate, we drank, we swam. Then it came time to get down to business. The 3rd annual Bocce Tourney of the Sexes. This event has grown exponentially throughout the years. It's no longer JUST a bocce game. There's an arena. There's a rule book. And there is LOTS of shit talking. We play boys vs. girls and we play to win. Since the girls outnumbered the boys (5 to 2), we had to sit one out each hole and the boys went twice. Unfortunately, the girls took a hit this year and lost 2-1. (We always play best of 3.) However, I pulled out with a PR for least amount of whining about the game. In years 1 and 2 I did a LOT of bitching about heat, mosquitoes, ets. This year I was even on the Injured Reserves list as I had some pretty sever blisters from the night before. I showed up and played hard with minimal bitching. (Not nearly as much as the men did.)

As our gift to the hostess this year we presented her a fire pit (one I was supposed to buy her for mother's day 3 years ago...sorry mom!) So once we wrapped up the tourney, we built a fire, put on some country tunes and did our best to recall events of Summerfests of yore. It was the perfect way to end our 8th Summerfest weekend. I couldn't ask for a better tradition and sincerely look forward to this same weekend happening every year for so many years moving forward.

Summerfest 2012 has already been added to the calendar...I'm certain the agenda will be put together shortly!

We interupt these weekend recaps...

2011-07-07T11:42:00.003-05:00

To tell you about the dream I had last night.

The ex proposed to me (in a not so great proposal...though I still cried - in my dream...it's still ME obviously). The ring was ugly...and fake. And it kept changing color and shape. And then it kept falling apart.

I do not need to seek out any interpretation or hidden meaning to this dream. It's pretty f'n clear.

Sometimes dreams don't make any sense. Sometimes they make perfect sense. This time was obviously the latter.

Stay tuned for Saturday's recap.

And the tradition rolls on - Part II

2011-07-06T10:33:00.007-05:00

Friday!

As the agenda was jam packed with goodness, despite the fact that we didn't finish up the frozen pizza until about 2:00 a.m., we had a day of fun ahead of us for Friday. We slept in a bit, Friday was the latest we got our day started, at a whopping 11:30 a.m. Watched a little House Hunters, ate some breakfast, drank some coffee and we were on our way!

We started off the day with lunch at Thai-Namite. I've blogged about it before, a delicious Thai / Sushi restaurant on Brady. Which prompted the question, "Why do you keep calling this "Brady?"I realized I've shortened Brady St. to just Brady...apparently I'm in too big of a hurry for the St. Ben & Gina tortured themselves with three stars of spicy on their entrees. And later informed me this was a terrible idea and that should I dine here with other spicy eaters in the future, let them know 3 is just too many stars. We wrapped up lunch with a lovely conversation regarding the process of getting into the Summerfest Club. It's a rigorous process that we were (mostly) joking about. Hey after the better part of a decade (and four former Greeks), there needs to be some sort of initiation process! (Future significant others are automatically grandfathered in, FYI.)

We then moved onto a lovely driving tour of Lake Dr where we all picked out our favorite homes. Homes that would make the Elliotts consider moving to MN, homes I'd live in when I marry a Doctor (or also acceptable Dentist, thanks for pointing that out Ben). Tori even found an acceptable arrival experience, columns and all. We drove up and down and all around, until Ben got sick and Tori couldn't had a too full bladder. Thanks to Summerfest traffic, roads closed and my minor freakout, we ended up making a nice little pit stop at the Alterra on the Lake to use their fine facilities.

From there we moved on to the Art Museum, aka the Calatrava.

I'm shamed to admit I've failed as a Milwaukeean and have never actually been inside this lovely new museum (that makes the old building look literally like the saddest excuse for a museum ever.) They were setting up for an event (with fine china & a ping pong table...naturally) so I didn't even have to imagine what the set up would be for a wedding!

The China exhibit was just installed and with only 3 stops in North America we figured it was a good time to peek in and see some exhibits! Gina & I did a pretty special audio tour with highly enlightened observations of all things art. Though I'd advise it's not for the weak (and also not for anyone who wants to actually learn anything about art.) We were hoping to see the wings close, but it was too windy for them to be open. We also didn't get to see the infinity chamber...which we didn't even know we wanted to until they told us it was closed. Seriously, want me to want something? Tell me I can't have it!

So after we covered all the ground of the museum, and Gina and I had had enough laughs and commentary, and Tori and Ben had soaked up enough actual art knowledge, we headed out to FINALLY get on the paddle boats Gina has wanted to rent since about year 2. The wind prohibiting the wings being flown should have given us a clue it might be a bit too windy to ride out in the lake on a paddle boat, but we still gave it a good try. No dice. So we dragged a disappointed Gina on to Happy Hour.

Photo from Onmilwaukee.com

Given the booze from the night before (and the cheese curds, ice cream, wine and mass amounts of chicken in quesadilla, wrap and finger form), we weren't sure we were ready for booze, but we put on our party pants anyways and headed South to Bryant's Cocktail Lounge. It's a really cool experience and something worth trying! Happy Hour includes really cheap prohibition era drinks, mine came aflame. Also - it's the only stop that Ben sent a post card from, so you know it had to be pretty sweet. If you've never been to Bryant's and you live in or are visiting Milwaukee, you must make a stop. It's hard to describe without being there. According to their website: Open since 1938, Bryant’s is Milwaukee’s Oldest Cocktail Lounge. Indulge yourself with exotic lighting, plush velvet walls, and tunes from the vintage audio system. Cozy up in a booth while sipping on a classic signature cocktail and enjoying the finest service in Milwaukee.

photo from totalmilwaukee.com

From there we moved on to dinner, because apparently even with a packed tight schedule of events and places to visit, eating was our number one activity this weekend. We move a bit north of Bryant's up to Swig in the Historic Third Ward. After 8 years, we're working with honorary Milwaukeeans here, they know the Third Ward quite well. I was impressed with their knowledge of where we were and where we've been. (I can hardly remember and I live here.) We once again ate too much delicious food (first world problem, I know). As usual the service was impeccable and the food was fantastic. I have come to expect nothing less from the Sorge's though...

photo from onmilwaukee.com

BUT the night was still young, there was more to accomplish (read: more to check off the agenda!) We stopped for a beer at Cafe Benelux, another new Milwaukee place I had yet to try myself. Luck was on our side as we snagged one of the north facing tables on the rooftop bar AND an adorable (and tall!) waiter. The beer was cold, the conversation motivating (read: how Angie needs to approach dating)...and unfortunately the adorably tall waiter young. (I'm flexible in my age range but there's no way I can keep up with a Senior in college.)

After our beers we had ONE MORE THING to cross off the agenda for our busy Friday. A stop at the casino! (What? Your agenda doesn't cover art, paddle boats and casino in one day?!)

Though once again we had to disappoint Gina with her favorite parts of the agenda, as it was already nearing 11:00 our casino visit was short lived...as we had to be up at 8:00 the next morning! This was probably a good thing, as best case scenario we all walked away pretty much even...except me. I was down $20. I used all my luck the week before when I left ahead over $100.

And finally we headed back home...so we could start all over again in less than 8 hours! Hooray! Stay tuned for Saturday's report. We hit up the Miller Park Tour, Stubby's, Lakefront Brewery Tour, Branded and Summerfest! Not a moment went to waste this weekend!!

And the tradition rolls on!

2011-07-05T08:37:00.002-05:00

Well, we have officially wrapped up our 8th annual Summerfest trip. And much like my pre-weekend post suggested, it was just as wonderful as I had anticipated. We spend months, LITERALLY months, planning, prepping and most importantly counting down the months, weeks and days until it was finally here! And then, in what feels like an instant, the weekend comes and goes. This was one of the longest "weekends" we've gotten to celebrate, and yet we talked at the end about how quickly it goes by. I'm going to do my best to recap our weekend. It's probably going to take a few posts as I don't need to write a 5,000 word post.

Thursday
The group arrived Thursday afternoon, thanks to Ben's driving. I'm seriously impressed with his timing and his ability to limit bathroom breaks. We took a quick ride over to the outlet malls at Pleasant Prairie and made out like bandits at J.Crew outlet. And in a fantastic twist of events, Tori spent the least. We were all a little proud (and also a little anxious about the amount the rest of us spent). As discussed, at least if we can't pay the mortgage, we'll look so good doing it.

We went immediately from the outlets to Jazz in the Park. It was the perfect night for it. We got some food, got some wine and laid down our blankets and set up camp. For a moment it looked as though a storm might roll in but it held off for us. I also learned Thursday night at Jazz in the Park, what I would do when I first saw the ex for the first time. It was turn and hide my face and say "Oh fuck, it's Christian." I was beyond thankful to be with the group I was with when I saw him for the first time. Honestly, these are some FRIENDS. There was support. After finding out how I felt and making sure I was okay, there was bashing. (Which I needed at that point.) There was blatant acts of forcing acknowledgment of our group. They had the perfect reactions, including instructions to keep the wine flowing. And now, I can officially mark seeing him for the first time off my list.

Before we knew it 9:00 had come and the show was over. We decided to move the party to more of a "local" place near my house. Where other than New Berlin Ale House (And Bowling Center). There was terrible karoake, bloody mary's, long island ice teas, and dirty girl scout shots. It was the perfect start to our weekend. We even cracked open a beer when we got home (I know, what party animals, right?!) After breaking my kitchen table (twice), we decided it was probably time to wrap up the night and head to bed. (Thanks Tor for fixing the table and Ben for the 3 sheets of paper towel, I'm sure me on the chair and Gina on the floor was a HUGE help!)

Coming up...Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday!

Random Thoughts

2011-06-29T11:05:00.004-05:00

I'm too excited for tomorrow to even begin to pretend I can write a cohesive post right now. So, instead you're getting a bullet version of what's going on in my head.

I'm starting a list called "Times I'd Prefer I Had a Boyfriend." For the most part, I enjoy my independence and freedom. I like doing what I want, when I want to. However, I do find myself thinking, "Ugh, where's a man to do this?" (Sexist? Maybe. But true.) So far this week I've added two times to the list. 1) when I had to buy and then bring from my car to the basement a 40 lb bag of salt only to find the water softener doesn't work. (Thankfully, I have a dad for the 2nd half of that.) 2) Kill bugs. Specifically spiders. I can handle the stupid, overly large black ants. I draw the line at spiders.
I have off Thursday & Friday of this week and Monday of next week. And yet all I can think today is, "I should have taken today off too!"
Sometimes when I have visitors coming, I freak about ALL I have to get done. So today I have made 4 lists of things to do before 2:30 tomorrow. None of them are that ridiculously long or hard. I need to take a chill pill.
It's probably because I'm SO FREAKING EXCITED for it to finally be tomorrow!
I'm doing all my cleaning tonight, so tomorrow I can go and get pedicures and Chipotle with my mom. (Jealous?)
Today at work I got to coordinate a movie shoot. It's not nearly as glamorous as you might think. Though it did include cramming 8 full grown adults into a closet so we could record them cheering. So there's that.
I have Pine Mouth from some pine nuts I ate this weekend. It's much better today than it was yesterday but it's freaking random and annoying. And also, my mouth tastes like butt.
I used the phrase, "Currently I have no man in my avatar" as a theoretical description of my singlehood.
Related: Twitter might be running my life.
I believe a small task force may have been formed last night to track down a bike cop in Milwaukee on my behalf. Jury is still out on how I feel about this. That's mostly because he was short.

Well that was fun, is it tomorrow yet?

8th Annual Summerfesting Trip

2011-06-23T14:45:00.004-05:00

I don't know if I've shared this or not but I am a total sucker for traditions. It might just be that traditions sort of play into my OCD tendencies, but for one reason or another, I love 'em.

Coming up this week I will be participating in the 8th year of one of my very favorite traditions. Way back in the summer of 2004, when I was living in Minneapolis in an apartment on campus with three of my sorority sisters, during one of the most eventful summers of my life, I was able to convince my two best friends (and roommates) that Summerfest was the greatest event ever to take place...ever. This was on the tail of my three year streak of never missing a SINGLE day of Summerfest (read: I was nuts.) I was sad about not living in Milwaukee for the summer (notoriously the BEST time to live in Milwaukee) and knew that while I couldn't make the entire 11 days of the festival, I had to make it back for at least some of it. And why not drag my roommates with me? So we piled into cars and made the 6 hour trek back for the start of a long lived and memory filled tradition. One that at the time, we had no idea we were starting.

Fast forward eight years and we're still friends. Boyfriends have come and gone, degrees have been acquired, jobs have been accepted and resigned from, apartments rented, houses bought, hell one of us even got a husband in those 8 years. But the Summerfest tradition is going strong. The group has grown and shrunk and grown again, but the original three have never missed a year.

Our priorities have changed a bit, we prefer quieter scenes and drink considerably less. But some parts have carried on and will forever.

We always make it to Summerfest at least one night. Nowadays there's a lot more complaining about the drunk teenagers there. Ironic given that at the start of our tradition we WERE the drunk teenagers there. We stay to the side and leave earlier than close, but we make it there.

There is always a trip to Elegant Farmer in Mukwonago. Cheese curds are a staple to the tradition.

We spend Sunday at my parents' house. There's booze drinking, hammock laying, pool swimming, and lots of catching up. My mom makes way too much delicious food and my dad mows a Boccearena (an actual course for our annual Girls vs. Boys Bocceball Game) into their front lawn.

As of last year, we try to include Jazz in the Park on Thursday. If there's time we go to the Pleasant Prairie Outlets (a favorite among the male participants for sure).

This year we're adding a few new activities. We'll be touring Miller Park (since we have YET to play the weekend they're down here), and Lakefront Brewery. Paddle boats on the lake front and a museum if there's time. We're trying some new places (to the guests) to eat and drink (Swig, Olive Pit, Stubby's, Bryant's), and keeping some favorites in there too (The Yard at the Iron Horse, we discovered this last year.)

I can't even put into words how much I look forward to this weekend each year. It's my own version of taking a major trip. It's an escape in my own city that I love so dearly. I get to surround myself with some of my favorite people who walk this Earth, and show of my dear Milwaukee. How much better could it possibly get?

I'm a Crier.

2011-06-22T10:40:00.003-05:00

Inspired by Lotso (from Toy Story 3), my nephew has been saying, "I'm a hugger!" whenever he hugs someone now. It's beyond adorable and absolutely hilarious.

Well, I'm taking this in a different direction and announcing I'm a crier**. I can't even believe this needs to be announced, as pretty much anyone who has spent 5 minutes with me has probably seen me cry. And no, not in a train wreck hot mess, over dramatic kind of way. I just cry. Happy, sad, disappointed, surprised, moved in pretty much any way possible, and I cry. It's nearly out of my control and happens all the damn time. (Though I did learn a little trick that you should clench your buttcheeks and swallow at the same time and it actually momentarily halts production in your tear ducts. It works but only for a brief moment and at some point, I need to unclench. Sidenote: I really wish I could remember where I heard that.)

So you can imagine the kiss of death when a potential suitor said to me, "Oh so you're a crier?" (Mind you, this was in response to me saying the fender bender and terrible day I had didn't make me angry but did make me cry a bit. So it wasn't a spilt milk situation!)

When I responded yes, the next question was, "Do you cry at movies?" I wanted to respond with, "are you freaking kidding me?! All the time. (That mention of Toy Story 3? Yup, sobbed through the end of that one.) Instead I just said, "Of course."

To which he asked, "Even in the theaters?!" (Toy Story 3 was DEFINITELY viewed in a child filled theater...didn't stop me.) And then followed up with, "I don't know how to deal with people when they cry."

Well, well, well. Quite the predicament you've worked yourself into then potential suitor. As, a) I have LITERALLY just revealed to you how much I cry, and b) don't plan on stopping any time soon, because c) I kind of like crying, oh that, and, I totally dig who I am...so there's that.

After the day I had, there was no way I could even figure out an appropriate response to that. Didn't have time, effort, patience, etc. Now, I realize that there are some people who just don't ever cry and have NO idea what to do with tears. I get that. I also get that I may be a minority because not everyone cries all the time. (My mom does...I get it from her.) BUT, I do. And will. Guaranteed. It will definitely happen in front of the next guy I date. FOR SURE. So, while I'm not asking for Mr. Next Boyfriend to be a crier, I do ask that he be understanding of the fact that I am. I'd even love if he, perhaps, found my over productive tear ducts adorable.

And really, I need very little comforting. No words, just give me a little hug and let me cry (it never lasts long.) Or, take a page out of my dad's book and do his super quick and intense back rub and just repeat, "it'll be okay." Even that works!

**So I went back and was going to link to some past posts about me crying or ho I'm a crier. There's too many. I must talk about crying a lot. I swear I'm not a train wreck!!