Hilarity in a small package.

As I mentioned in my previous post, my nephew is hilarious. He's only four but he has mastered comedic timing and says shit most kids don't say, let alone those who are a mere four years old. Here's some things he uttered while we spent time together this weekend.

My dog broke her leg YEARS ago. She had to wear a pink cast. This was long before he was born. He has seen pictures and we must have told him about it at one time. Now whenever he sees her he asks what's wrong with her. When I tell him nothing, he says, "yes, she broke her leg. She had to get a pink leg." 

While dining out with my parents the waitress came to our table and asked if we wanted anything else, we all said "no, thank you" and he made sure to pipe in with a "no" and as she walked away, he leans back into the booth lets out a sigh and says, "well...she won't be back." The timing was impeccable, the defeated tone was flawless for the statement and the table burst into laughter.

We sang Happy Birthday and gave him a cake for his (3rd) birthday party he got for turning 4. After we finished and he blew out the candle he yells, "Now EVERYBODY say, 'Hey! It's my birthday!'" He also has his own version of Happy Birthday in which he sings, "Happy birthday to you, have a great day to you."

I had lunch with him and my mom today and while her and I were talking he starts busting out in the most genuine belly laugh you've ever heard (not the fake laugh he's known to do for attention). Finally I asked him, "What are you laughing at?" and in between these hysterical giggle fits he looks at me and says, "people!" Later once he gets his composure he says to me again, "I'm laughing at people." I can't wait to judge with him when he gets older.

Seriously, he sends me into giggle fits more than most adults I know.

Happy Birthday Joey!

My nephew turns FOUR today. Four years ago he came into this world and nothing has been the same since. It seems like just yesterday Dad and I were sitting in the waiting room at 1:00 in the morning, watching the USA Beach Volleyball game in the Olympics (a previously aired game) on uncomfortable hospital furniture when mom came busting through the doors to tell us he had (finally!) made his debut.

This time has literally FLOWN by and it feels like every time I see him he's grown and changed and has some new trick up his sleeve. Well, ok, there's usually not so much physical growth, he's a peanut and always has been. Of course, not if you ask him, if you check with him he's a "big guy."

It's amazing to me when I think about all that has changed over the course of these quick four years. My family has always been very close. But when Joey came into this world we got closer. People have come in our lives and left our lives. Some have come back, some have stayed gone (for the better!) but we've managed to stick this out. The good, the bad and the ugly have all been made better thanks to those 30 pounds of little boy. He's the happiest kid I've ever met, even when he's being an all out asshole he's adorable, and he makes it nearly impossible not to smile around him. And really truly, I've met a lot of kids in my day. This kid is just so cool. He makes me laugh hysterically and at 4 years old he's managed to figure out comedic timing better than most adults.

Surprisingly, (or I guess if you're a parent yourself, not all that surprisingly) he has made us all better people. I mean we all knew Debbie was going to kick ass at being a Grandma. She was a fantastic mom, but the woman was MADE to be a Grandma. Stevie turns into a big softie in minutes when Joey comes in. For a guy who admittedly doesn't like kids, he sure doesn't show it well when that little guy is around. He makes one hell of a Poppy and it makes me eager to have kids of my own - they'll be so lucky to have them as Grandma & Grandpa. I can't even put into words what Joey has done to my brother. He has grown and changed so much in four years I can hardly believe it. I have learned so many important parenting lessons from him and hope that when I have kids of my own I'll be half as good as he is at figuring out that whole parent thing. He's managed to grow himself, raise the coolest kid I've ever met and make a relationship that was difficult to maintain become a healthy one. I'm so amazed by him and proud of him. He and Noelle have grown into being parents and while it wasn't exactly a smooth transition they've managed to figure out what works and that's more than I can say for many grown adults who were "ready" to be parents. They worked their asses off and as a result have built a happy home for the big guy.



So Joey, thanks for being so damn awesome. Thanks for making all of our lives more enjoyable and better with you in it. Thanks for making me laugh and cry and literally overwhelming me with love on so many occasions. When your dad told me you were coming I couldn't imagine how it could possibly all work out, now that you're here and four years later, I can't imagine life without you.

Summer Balance

Last weekend was the first weekend in a long time where I didn't have any major plans. It occurred to me on Saturday, after I finished up the ONE thing I had to do for the entire weekend that I was without plans. And this overwhelming sense of freedom came over me. I was pumping gas on my way to Trader Joe's (which I was able to go to - it's 45 minutes from my house - because of all the free time I had). I realized, I could do whatever I want. I could get coffee. I could read at the dog park. I could take the longer more scenic way home. I could get a movie or sushi or go to Target or just sit in my house. I could do any or all of those things and I could do them all without a time frame. If I wanted to take 3 hours to grocery shop I could.

It's an interesting balance I'm trying to strike with my calendar. As a single person without anyone depending on my schedule I am free as a bird to plan whatever events I want, whenever I want. Which is both a blessing and a curse. See when you have even one other person living with you - you can blame anything and everything you need to on that person. "oh, I'd love to do dinner, but we have plans" or "I think that might work, but I better check with him / her" and then you can say no and it's totally perceived it's the other person's fault.

So here's the thing - when I was coaching, my calendar was mostly work and the rest was cheer. I had something after work almost every day and most weekends during competition season. I had very little spare time. Then I retired and had more time than I knew what to do with. I'd get home at 5:30 and just wander around the house thinking of what I was going to do with the WHOLE night ahead of me. At the time I had a live-in boyfriend. Then when that ended, I had all this time and if I sat at home I felt like a total hermit. So over the course of  the last year I started branching out. I met new friends, got involved in new things, started volunteering, etc. I started a new job so now there's new co-workers AND old co-workers. All of a sudden I'm so far from a hermit. I'm busy. I have plans with kick ass people doing ridiculous fun things. And the thing is, I don't want to NOT do those things. But I also like things like sleep and a positive balance in my bank account.

This summer has served as a lesson in balance. I went balls out at the beginning and pretty much never said no. It was awesome. Then I went total extreme opposite and with Mel adopted "No Obligation August" which I'm doing quite well. This is also awesome. Someday maybe I'll find a balance in between. Where I've got some plans, but other times I can be a hermit and hole up at home. It's probably necessary so I don't get SO excited over nights where I'm in bed at 6:00 in pajamas with sushi and wine. Excited enough that I'm anticipating a repeat performance the following weekend.

But realistically, no amount of sleep or rest or money could make me trade in the summer I've had. I've spent time with old friends, reconnected with others. I've made new friends, tried new things, went new places and enjoyed every minute of it. And not a second goes by where I don't realize how amazingly lucky I am to have so many wonderful people in my life to spend time with. And how thankful I am that they don't get mad when I tell them I can't hang out because I'm going to sleep or clean or sit at home and do nothing.

The "Shoulds"

This summer will likely be remembered as the season of the social calendar. It's typical of summer - living in the Midwest, you know damn good & well once the winter hits, you're going to be hunkered down for the unforeseeable future (or at least until March) and the last thing you're going to want to do is gallivant around town. So in anticipation of hibernation, we jam pack as much crap as we can into those three wonderful months we call Summer. This has been no exception. I have been busier than ever, and have actually taken to strictly managing my calendar in hopes of having at least one night where I can go directly home after work and relax. By no means am I trying to sound all Hollywood or complain about the fact that I know lots of kick ass people with whom I'd like to do some awesome things that take place over the course of a Milwaukee summer. I'm just sayin' after a while, it wears on a girl (and her bank account and sleep accumulation!) 

This past weekend was free of obligations and I was damn near giddy about it. I have absolutely no shame in sharing that I was not only in pajamas but also IN MY BED by 6:30 p.m. glass of wine in hand and armed with the latest rentals from Redbox. The first was Jeff, Who Lives at Home and it was horrible. I gave it my obligatory 30 minutes and I hated every one of them. So not much to report there. The other? Was easily my favorite movie I've seen in YEARS. Like maybe the last 5 years? Seriously, it was that good. Friends with Kids made me laugh, cry and possibly think the writers has weaseled their way into my mind. I don't intend to give much away about the plot - you should really see it for yourself. This is more so what the movie made me think about, while I was watching it and long after. But to give a quick background, it's a group of friends in their 30's, young, wild and free. Then they start having kids and it's told mostly from the point of the two childless members of this group of friends. They observe what happens to their friends with kids.

Here's where the "shoulds" come in. Lately I've been doing quite a bit of observing of my friends and where they're respectively at in their lives. Likely because for one of the first times I can remember, we're no longer all in the same place. When you're in school you might have some friends older and younger in age, but you're all in the same place. Fresh out of college it's possible you had a couple friends who got started on "adulthood" earlier and got married and had babies but they were the outliers. Now, as I find myself in my late 20's I find it's the first time I look around and my friends are scattered all over on the timeline of life. Some married, some pregnant, some with multiple kids. A few just beginning to date, some entering the better part of a decade of dating the same person. And even still, some single like myself. I feel like this age in my life we are under immense pressure of what should happen. And I should make note, I'm not against what should happen. I like the idea of getting married, having kids and raising a family. That's definitely somewhere in my life plan.

However, more often than not I find the happiest of my friends are the ones who are bucking when the should should be done. Those who have stayed true to what they themselves want and need. I have friends who are married and have no intentions of having kids. Aside from frequent inquisitions about when they plan to procreate, they're incredibly happy enjoying each other and the lives they're building for the existing family of two. I have friends who are dating and have been for years and years but are in no rush to get married. Aside from "that girl" asking when he's going to pop the question, they honestly rarely even think about it. Friends who, like myself, are single and have no intentions of parting with their independence. It seems the only time this is a problem is when people start asking questions. When are you going to settle down? Don't you wish he'd propose already? But...you're married, shouldn't you be making babies?  Why do we do this to each other? Shouldn't the timing of these epically large life decisions be based on when we're ready and willing? Not because it's what everyone else is doing. Because it's what society tells us comes next? And realistically, while I think getting married because that's what you do next is a terrible decision, it pales in comparison to how scary it is that once married, people assume the next responsibility is bringing another life into the world before they're ready.

It's not a cut on anyone who's following the "should" timeline, there are plenty of people who are ready and confident in their decisions to follow the "normal" path. I have friends who have done this and are wildly successful at it. I look to them frequently as models of how I want to be when I get there. Conversely, relationships are intense. And they take work and effort. And there's nothing wrong with taking your time. Or saying it's not right. Or deciding you want to live life the way it is for a while before accepting the responsibility of marriage or child rearing. Those are huge life steps and once you've made the step turning back isn't as easy anymore. I think it's important to take the time to build a solid foundation on your own timeline. Life will test the strength of the relationships you create a hundred times over, best have a sturdy footing before that challenge is accepted.