Consumed.

Back in high school when my parents had a really honest talk about drinking and the like, my dad offered me a piece of advice I have never forgotten.

"Don't let it consume you."

He shared stories of friends he had from high school and college and how consumption to various things had provided a pivotal point in their lives when things took a turn for the worse. And he further reinforced a message he had been giving to me for years, "Focus and balance. Balance and focus." We talked about how as long as you have balance in your life, a positive focus and never let anything totally consume you beyond your control, you're on the right track.

For the great majority of my life (save a handful of nights in college) I've followed quite closely to this advice. If you ask any of my friends nowadays, it's a rare occasion that I actually get drunk and even that only happens when I'm in a safe place, with people I know, and a guaranteed ride home. I've watched people very close to me become consumed by substances and this has only helped the message hit home even harder.

And now, at the ripe old age of 28 I've got a pretty good balance down. Until recently, I noticed I had maybe become a little consumed by something totally different. Something far less scary than booze or crack, but consumed nonetheless...Dating. Anyone who's single in the "grown-up" world can probably attest to this. It's not like college where you're just constantly meeting new people, and friends of friends are introducing you to new men like it's going out of style. Dating in the "real world" can become work. Like part time job, waste a bunch of time and don't get paid, WORK. It happens kind of quickly and you don't realize it at first. Then all of a sudden you realize you're juggling dates and staying up late texting someone who probably has a girlfriend anyways. (What's that? Oh, just me? Well then, carry on.) And like anything that consumes you, the high of it eventually wears off. You burn out. What was once fun and exciting becomes daunting. You feel pressure to keep up with it. Go out, meet people, put yourself "out there". And then, it's not fun and it's not exciting. It's stressful. It becomes all people ask about. You become sick of telling the same stories over and over again.

I realize this makes me sound just absolutely ridiculous. But it's true, and if you're in a similar situation you probably can relate. I still like dating, I'm still very open to dating people and I'm excited about the potential of meeting nice, quality men. But that's just a little sliver of what is going on in my life. There's so much more to do and get excited about and learn.

So I've made an effort in the last couple weeks to become unconsumed by dating. To not care about it, to not get wrapped up in how successful it is, to not let my happy or sad moments be hinging on someone else. And let me tell you something, this has been a fantastic decision. I've been doing all sorts of stuff for me and me alone. I've stepped outside of my comfort zone for no one else but myself. I've been to the gym more, read more books, cooked dinners, met strangers, joined a book club, gone to church, had sleepovers with my nephew, and spent more time with friends and family. All while not giving a fuck (to be quite blunt) about dating, or men, or if or when I'll ever get married.

It has been quite liberating. And before you get all your panties in a bundle, let's just cover some bases. While I've joked quite a bit lately about just picking up some more cats and calling it a day, I don't actually think I'll end up a crazy cat lady. I'm still confident I'll date someone at some point. But in the mean time, I'm going to make Single Angie's life the best damn life it can be. And so far I'm doing quite well. So take that dating, you consume me no longer!

That's So Random.

There's been some wacky thoughts going through my brain lately. So naturally, I'll share.

I have to agree with Beyonce / Reba McEntire (depending on your genre preference), If I were a Boy, I would be a killer boyfriend. Sometimes I think about that and I think, it's really not that hard. I mean I could sweep girls off their feet with the best of 'em and it would require very little effort. Send flowers, be nice, say nice things, don't lie, etc. But then yesterday I thought to myself, I bet there's dudes who think, "I'd make the best girlfriend ever. I'd just wear low-cut shirts, and cook and clean without bitching, and let him play video games all the time." So I guess that goes both ways. Maybe it's not that simple.

I'm on a pizza kick lately. While some people worry their habits or certain sayings point to them turning into their father, being able to eat Pizza for 4 meals over the past week and still wanting more is what tells me I'm turning into my dad.

I watched the Notebook for the first time ever this weekend. (I know, what kind of girl am I?!) I tried watching it once in college when it first came out, but it was right after a break-up and I was NOT in the mood for cheesy love. I'm pretty sure I made a scene, threw a fit about love and stomped upstairs (ah, to be young again). So I went into it with a (somewhat more) open mind this time. And here's what I thought. I love that time period. It's so romantic to me. And I DID cry (like y'all warned I would), but not about the love story. I cried because Dementia is sad. When your brain makes you forget your life, that is very sad. The love story was so-so.

The movie also fueled another thought. In general, I do not, repeat DO NOT, appreciate love stories where there's someone who gets dicked. Lon got dicked hard in the Notebook. Dude was nice and wonderful and he lost. I don't find romance in situations where someone leaves another person, or cheats on another person because they're so passionate about a former love. Quite honestly, it pisses me off. Cheating is NEVER romantic. PERIOD. Even with Ryan Gossling.

Stop, take a moment and just think about Ryan Gossling for a moment. You're welcome.

If there was ever a tool to prove to men that they are correct about their assumption that all women think about is weddings and babies, Pinterest would be that tool. Let's get something straight here, I've got a sick wedding planned on Pinterest so I get it. And if I was actually planning a wedding, I'd be working that thing double time. But yesterday when I logged on to see the boards I follow, I nearly vomited. For crying out loud people, there's other things than 45 different ways to wear your hair down and curly. Also, pinning 35 somewhat different but mostly identical onesies for a kid you don't have is overkill, IN MY OPINION (of course). Things like ADORABLE animals (which you are free to judge me on because yes, 169 pins of cute animals IS a problem). That's why I pin things like this and this oh and of course this and this. Obviously you can just unfollow those boards too, I get that. I just like to bitch about things sometimes, k?

I don't like when people ask me if I like my phone. Because it's inappropriate how passionately I talk about how much I love it when I answer them.

I know the following thought makes me sound like a complete idiot, but I'm going to say it anyway. Because this is my blog, and if you don't like it you don't have to read it. But given that almost all my readers are my friends, chances are you won't. I'm over all this politic hoopla already...and you guys, it's only January. THIS GOES UNTIL NOVEMBER. And it's not that I hate it in a "twirling my bleach blond hair between my fingers, chomping my gum, furrowing my brows and stating, "I just don't get it" way. I hate it in a "since when did we allow a bunch of CHILDREN to run for president. Stop tattling on each other, put on your big boy pants and quit calling each other names. Tell me what you are going to do, not what the other person did." way. Also I don't like that Romney looks like a robot and Newt seems to have a twitch in his eye that says, "I may go postal at any given moment." But that's neither here nor there.

Yesterday while volunteering I helped with math homework...in Spanish. My three years & near fluency in sign language from college did nothing to help with this situation. I dug way back, I mean WAY back into my brain to call on high school Spanish. And I'll be dammed, it worked! Together, me and that 5 year old finished her Spanish math homework. I'm not sure who beamed harder with pride when we finished that worksheet and got to play, her or me.

The boys I watch while volunteering LOVE to play Old Maid. Turns out, it's a lot funnier to an 8 year old boy to be called the Old Maid than a 28 year old single girl. Stings in a whole different manner. I suggest Uno any chance I can.

Things I've learned...

After spending four years coaching high school cheerleaders and being "friended" by many of them on the 'book, I can tell you there are some lessons I've learned from them. Because I know not all of you spend that much time with high school girls (nor should some of you) I've decided to share with you some of what I've learned.

First and foremost, the most important lesson I'll be taking away from all this time is that my daughter (probably my son too, but my experience is strictly with young women), will be allowed to have a facebook profile with ONE condition. I am allowed TOTAL access to any and all information. Her wall, her photos, her friends, EVERYTHING. I can't even tell you how many times I've been looking at the 'book and said to myself, "Woah, if her parents only knew." I can say this because I know most of their parents. I've met them and interacted with them and am pretty confident they'd DIE to see that picture of her wasted. To know she's not "sleeping at her friend's house" and instead is in the shortest skirt I've ever seen (they might have just been underwear) at some house party in Madison. So yes, future daughter, you can absolutely have facebook like all your friends. But you may not be a drunken whore (or at least look like one) in what can best be described as a bathing suit with some guy who looks no less than a decade older than you. At least not without me seeing it!

Did I do "naughty" things in high school? Of course, who didn't? (My mom, that's who. She's notoriously the goody two shoes of the family.) Fortunately for me, there was no facebook in high school. Unfortunately for me, my crafty parents let me get drunk when I was a junior in high school on our spring break trip and I spilled the beans. ALL THE BEANS. Then when I thought I was done, I spilled some more.

But I can honestly say a few things. One, my dad NEVER would have let me out of the house in what the "kids these days" are wearing. I'm 10 years older than most of them and even I don't own clothes that "grown up". Seriously, sometimes for fun I show him pictures of my cheerleaders to see his reaction. He'd have locked me in my room for the remainder of high school. Two, my mom taught me how to put on make-up and that the goal was to look natural. And by "natural" I don't mean "naturally a raccoon." There is such a thing as too much eyeliner. Just saying. T

I know I'm aging myself by saying all this "kids these days" stuff. But seriously, it's lessons I'll take if I ever have a teenage daughter (heaven help me). It makes me thankful dad told me put more clothes on. I'm glad mom told me to wear less make-up. Of course I hated it then, but I'm thankful now.

I know not all girls are like this. I have some former cheerleaders who are stand-up young women and I couldn't be more proud of who they've become. They are smart and respectful not only to others but to themselves. They give me hope that I can raise one of the "good ones." But seriously, is there anything scarier than a teenage daughter?

Besties Book Club

Or "That time I went to a book club at a stranger's house with a bunch of strangers and had the BEST TIME EVER."

So I'm on the Twitter and have been for a while. And it is always surprising me with it's awesomeness. Via Twitter I heard about a little book club that was getting together and as I've been known to do, I weaseled my way into it! (Same as I did with my college friends and my work friends.) And, as it has in the past, it worked out better than I could have ever imagined.

And quite honestly, I'm probably a little bit too proud of myself about this one, but I'm going to stay that way. Right before we were supposed to meet I panicked a little bit. I knew NO ONE there. I mean, yes, I had spoke to a few of the ladies on Twitter before but I had never MET them, met them. I almost backed out. I thought of a few reasons I could give and they'd be totally believable. Instead I sucked it up and gave it a whirl.

It was SO much fun. Seriously, I laughed more than I ever have when talking about "books." By the end we called it "reading" for "book club". Most of us had just skimmed through the book and after we bitched about it for a while, we moved on to everything else in life. We talked work (the rest of the group all works at the same company but it's another large scale corporation in the area so we had a lot in common to talk about), relationships, kids, and everything else. All of a sudden I realized it felt like I was just hanging out with friends chatting it up.

I'm already looking forward to the next "book club" and hopefully getting to know this group of women even more! +5 points to me for not panicking and actually going! Sometimes ya gotta take a step or two outside of the comfort zone.

Update to the Haters.

After talking to Kyle, who also grew up in Milwaukee, moved to Minneapolis for school and now lives in NYC, he admitted to me he occasionally talks bad about Milwaukee. My initial response of "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" was then following by probing to figure out just WHY someone would do such a thing.

And it was just as I suspected. People, if you moved away from Milwaukee before you were an adult to another city - you should not be allowed to give reviews of Milwaukee. OF COURSE your new city is more fun, more active, more intriguing. You were FIFTEEN when you were here. That's like me saying, "One time when I was 8, I visited Chicago. But if you ask me the bar scene is pretty lame, dating is tough, and really there's not a lot of quality adults in the area." You hardly had an experience with the city. And the few times a year you come back to visit family doesn't count. (Sukie, I'm looking at you and telling me that Duke's was full of less attractive people. DUH. Any Milwaukeean could have told you to avoid Dukes - and Water St. for that matter - like the plague if you're no longer 21 and / or are not a hood rat. FYI.)

There's a reason when you're taking a vacation to a new city you try and talk to people who have been there or even better LIVE there. They know the city, they've tested things and places out. They can tell you that really loud and fun looking restaurant near your hotel is actually just a tourist trap, the pizza sucks and if you really want a good meal you should hit up that little corner spot in that off-the-beaten path neighborhood. When I go and visit Minneapolis, I let my friends who live there tell me where we should grab dinner, which bar has the best beer. If I didn't do that it's likely I'd have spent my visits over the last 6 years at Blarney's. Not because it's the best place in the city - but because it's what I know. (Which I've learned over my 6 years of visits, is VERY little. I know Dinkytown and sometimes Uptown. My years in college didn't take me exploring very often.)

I love showing off my city. I have a group of visitors who has been coming down every summer for the last 8 years and I believe if you ask them, Milwaukee is a pretty great place. I thrive on finding new places to take them, new adventures to go on. I mean, they have been coming back for 8 years and I'm pretty sure it's not just for Debbie's cooking (although, that's probably their favorite Milwaukee attraction.)

So I guess I'm modifying my rant from yesterday - don't hate on Milwaukee unless you've given it a fair chance, as an adult. When you leave this city you are an ambassador to all that exists here. Unless you believe you've experienced enough to consider yourself an educated ambassador, let those of us who know it talk about it. And finally, if anyone ever wants to know more about this fair city, you now have an open invitation to ask me. I will gladly make recommendations or play tour guide any time you come to visit.

And you really should come and visit :)

My City

"This city is my city
And I love it, yeah I love it
I was born and raised here
I got it made here
And if I have my way, I'm gonna stay"

I had an interesting conversation this morning with a friend. And now, a few hours later I can call it interesting. This morning I would have had other choice words for it. And I will make a little disclaimer that my friend & I agree it was nice to banter. I'm not mad at her and appreciate her viewpoint. (I always have appreciated a good chance to form an argument.) If you follow me on Twitter you may have seen the following tweet:

Really want to piss me off and turn me into a ranting and raving lunatic? Take a jab at Milwaukee. I love my city.

And this, my friends, is true. I love my dear city. My Twitter profile tells you, "My heart belongs to Milwaukee and my mind wanders everywhere else." It's the truth. And if there ever comes a time, I will always come to my fair city's defense. My frustration with someone dissing good old Milwaukee was heightened because this particular friend is FROM here. She grew up in the same small town I did. Since then she's bounced around for school, for grad school, for life. She's moving back across the globe soon.

I have a profound amount of respect for the well traveled. My parents instilled this in us from a young age and made sure that while we grew up in a small city we had all the experiences we could get from a large one. This is NOT a bitter post from someone who's never left her home town. I moved away for school, I've traveled around the world but I have chosen to make my life and plant my roots here in Milwaukee. I think Milwaukee is an amazing place. It's the biggest little town in the world. It's got a larger city feel while still feeling small enough to manage. There are communities within the City that are tight knit and friendly. There's fine dining, great social scenes and culture to boot. So you can imagine my frustration when we started talking about dating in Milwaukee and this was the comment she made...

"Milwaukee lacks a lot of large, prominent corporations that bring really sophisticated, grounded men there."

*face palm*

I'm sorry, what was that? Then I built my case. I sent her to this site. I listed as many corporations I could that have their headquarters in Milwaukee (including my own. A company with 136,000 employees globally whose sales reached $40 BILLION last fiscal year). She then pointed out that while she does love Midwestern men (and married one from Milwaukee), they aren't always the most cultured and sophisticated. That while Milwaukee does have it's benefits, it's not the same as Chicago or New York City.

Milwaukee Men, I stood up for you. I explained that while due to it's sheer size by comparison, no it absolutely does not have as many corporations. (Duh.) But that the men here are a quality bunch. They have as much exposure to culture as any city and quite frankly when compared to other cities its size, they've got MORE. And in case it wasn't clear, I reaffirmed that some of the biggest douchebags I've ever met have hailed from the mentioned pillars of culture that are New York City and Chicago (because that's how I roll). Eventually she admitted, while she grew up near here, she hadn't ever really dated IN Milwaukee. So she conceded she might not know much about the "dating culture".

Milwaukee may not be a huge city, but it's my home. It helped shaped me into who I have become and will continue to impress me into who I will be. There are so many wonderful cities all over the world. Minneapolis still holds 4 of the best years of my life and has pulled me back for many trips since then. I have a love for London I never imagined could exist for a city I've only been to once. Annually I feel a deep seeded need to visit Chicago for a weekend. Everyone is free to come and go as they please, explore the world, but don't forget about Milwaukee. And sure as hell don't bash it once you've left.

*steps off soapbox*

Snowmageddon 2012

As per usual, in the Midwest and specifically Wisconsin, we like to throw big ol' "HOLY FUCK THE WORLD IS ENDING" fits when the first be snowfall happens each year. Weatherman get all crazy warning us of the feet of snow we're about to be pelted with and it's all everyone and their mother can talk about for DAYS leading up to it. As if it's the first time we've ever had it happen and we're all OMG WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!? (Answer: the same thing we've done since the beginning of Wisconsin time, we'll bitch about it, over exaggerate what's coming, talk about how it isn't nearly as bad as we expected, shovel a bunch and get on with it.)

Typically these snowmageddon type madness has already long come and gone by January and we're all settled in comfortably to remembering this is winter in Wisconsin and trucking along. Until March that is, when we all go bat shit stir crazy from being snowed into our houses and the snow is all black and gross and totally lost its appeal.

Well last night we were in SNOMG full force. (I know, all the names Snowpocolypse, Snowmageddon, SNOMG, they're terrible but I love them dearly.) I had a networking meeting after work that I needed to be at because I was helping run the thing. I spent pretty much all day looking out the window freaking out because of the snow coming down and the shit conditions of the road. Here's the thing, I don't mind snow. In fact, as long as I don't have to drive in it, I kind of like it. But ever since I damn near totaled my Jeep in college due to some rain that turned ice in a matter of 4 minutes and I slid across 3 lanes of freeway only to be stopped by a cement median at 6:00 in the morning, I'm a little skiddish to drive on bad roads (and little is an extreme understatement. I want to cry about it just thinking of it.)

But last night I ventured out for the treacherous drive home from Milwaukee to Waukesha at 7:00 p.m. My silver lining was that since it was later, the roads wouldn't be bumper to bumper and should have been pretty well cleared by the time I was on them. NOT the case. You know how when you know a snowfall is going to last a long time figure, "meh, might as well wait for it to finish so I don't have to shovel twice!"?* Yes, it is my understanding all plows in the ENTIRE city of Milwaukee had that thought process last night. It was as if the roads had been untouched by salt or the edge of a plow EVER. I basically slid all 20 miles home. BUT, I made it. I likely shaved 3 years off the end of my life from stress, but really, how much fun was I going to have in those last 3 years anyway?

*Let's be honest, I have heard people have this thought process. Save for the maybe the one time in college where snow fell on the unlikely date my name was on the calendar the last time I picked up a shovel was for fun when I was a kid "helping" my dad (and by "help" I of course mean "making a bigger mess and slowing down his progress.") I have snow elves (read: a landscaping company I pay for via my condo dues) who come and remove any and all snow on any pathways my feet or tires might hit between my front door and the road. And I intend to stay there until I have a husband who is required by vows to shovel for me. That's how it works, no?

Blogaversary!

Last Friday marked a special date for this little blog of mine. January 6, 2009 I wrote my very first post. Which means, last Friday hit three years of me writing posts here. As I predicted there, it would be an interesting recap for me to look over come 2010. And has also done so in 2011 and 2012. At the start of each month I go back and look at what happened in that month in '09, '10 and '11. It's really interesting to go back and remember what was happening at that time one, two and three years ago.

It hasn't changed much. It hasn't exploded with readership. It's not a money maker. I'm certain I break a number of "rules" professional bloggers live by on a daily basis. But it lives just as it was intended to in its creation three years ago. A place to put my thoughts, document my life, remind me of the little details, the ins and outs of the hours of the days that some how wind up making an entire year of time that has passed. Friends keep updated on my life, strangers learn about me, mom hears a written version of the stories I've already told. It served and continues to serve exactly the purpose I wanted it to. Entertainment and remembering what the hell happened in my life. Even in the posts where I'd probably rather forget something that happened, it has helped to remind me where I was and how far I've come.

So thanks, dear readers, for making me feel like I tell an entertaining story, coming back from time to time to see what is happening in my life, and for letting me tell you about my life!

And Happy Blogaversary It is what it is.

Random Thoughts

Seems like a good day for some random thoughts and things from my brain.

• I finally caved and started reading the Hunger Games series. And...I can't even. I just can't. I was late to lunch with my dad on Saturday because I was reading. I spent pretty much ALL waking hours on Sunday reading. Occasionally I have to set the book down because I just can't handle it. It's a sickness and I can't fight it.

• Last week, after I went to bed way past my bedtime because I was reading, I punished myself by making the rule that I could only read the book (that night) if I was working out. Which is also how I ended up on a recumbent bike for over an hour on a Thursday night.
  

• I'm halfway through book 2 and have decided I can no longer read it in public. Given the frequency of me yelling out "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME."
  

• I watched Twilight for the first time this weekend. (Related: why yes, I am in fact 15 years old). Gotta say, I've been in a very strong anti-Twilight stance since my coaching days (spend 4 years w/ 45+ high school girls when it first came out and you would be too.) So I went in with a bitter taste. I get why people like it (kinda). I do NOT think Edward (or anything about what he does) is sexy. I found most of it creepy. Oh and when he flies through the woods with Bella on his back like a monkey? Yeah, right. I kept a straight face.

• I did promise to watch the second one as I believe I'll have a stronger liking for Jacob. But I don't have high hopes.

• I'm on this John Mayer bender that just won't quit. I've got John pandora stations on both of my phones (in case one dies? I'm not sure why) and have listened to them pretty much the last 5 days. I hope it eases up soon, it makes me sad he's such a douche.

• I really want to see Sherlock Holmes 2. And have had a craving to re-watch Ironman 2. I think I have a thing for Robert Downey Jr. I'm okay with this.

• A friend and I are booking tickets this week to go and visit another friend down in Houston. Which means, I'm going to Texas y'all. I anticipate this will bring back a strong desire to re-watch all 5 seasons of FNL. I'm also okay with this.

• I have really been wanting to go back and watch the entire series of the OC. But I'm a little afraid I'll be tragically disappointed in how bad it is. Like if I just leave those DVD's in their boxes I can go on pretending it was a masterpiece from my past. (plus I mean I did watch the whole thing like a million times back in college. We didn't have cable in our rooms ok?!)

• Sometimes I wonder if posting things like this will come back to bite me when a future suitor finds this blog and is all, "woah, woah, woah. What do you mean you've seen the entire OC series more than once. And just what do you mean by 'obsessed' with Friday Night Lights? You use the recumbent bike at the gym? But you only had to walk up three stairs, how did you hit your head so hard? Why do you tell people you talk to your animals so often?"

Good for today, no?

Comfortable.

I'm on a John Mayer kick lately (why, oh WHY did he have to turn so douchey?!). I have always loved his music, he's an amazing musician - seeing him live nearly blows your mind with how good he is. Plus there's a little nostalgic appeal to him because some of his songs provided the soundtrack to my high school and college years. I still rather vividly remember buying Room for Squares at Best Buy. (Side note: really brain? We can clearly remember that but there's no room for what I was talking about an hour ago?!)

So I'm sitting at my desk streaming my John Mayer station on Pandora (how did people make it through workdays before Pandora?) and the song "Comfortable" came on. First of all, this song breaks my friggin' heart. I can't even tell you. It actually hurts to listen to and if it wasn't so damn good and all romantical and such, I'd turn it off. It's like the most romantic song about a break-up ever. But I totally "get" it.

"Our love was comfortable,
so broken in."

I'm on a little bit of a negative kick about dating. (Unless you ask Kyle, Tori or my mom who I talked to yesterday when I was in a BIG negative pout-rant about dating. They'd probably dispute the "little bit of negative" claim.) I know all you people in relationships* will continue to tell me things like "Isn't it SO exciting that he's just out there somewhere? He could be anywhere?!" or "There's some awesome and super amazing man just WAITING for you!" or one of my other favorites, "You're so lucky to just be out there meeting all these people and going on all these fun dates!"

To which I say this, No it's not exciting. Where the fuck is he? and WHY THE HELL IS HE WAITING?! Finally, Lucky? Is that what we call being able to detail the most boring date in the world? Or how about the one with the married guy?! I get it, it takes time, you just have to wait, it'll happen when it's right, when I'm not looking, yup yup yup. GOT IT. And it's not that I'm DYING without a boyfriend. I actually kind of like the freedom and I love the shit out of living by myself. But dating? Not so much. I don't like it. I think that song is so romantic because I adore being in that kind of relationship. The comfortable place. Where you know the other person, like REALLY know the other person. And naturally, I like any place where you someone appreciates sweatpants.

I will LOVE dating when I'm dating one person. And we've been dating for a few months. And I know about them and their imperfections and their quirks that I think are absolute perfection. When I'm not waiting for the other shoe to drop about some stranger I know approximately 3 facts about. I love the first few dates, first kisses, meeting the friends, the families, etc. That is all beyond exciting and amazing and some of the most magical times in a relationship.

But dating strangers to find one acceptable for a second date with? Quite frankly, it blows a little bit.

*Regardless of how negative I am or what kind of pout-rant I am on, or how much I scream when "you people" say these things to me, I do appreciate them. They make me feel hope and even when I'm pissed off and angry, a little piece of me hopes you're all right!

2012: The year of Angie.

Okay, maybe that's excessive. But I am feeling quite good about this year. I know people have varying opinions of resolutions and I do believe in setting goals for yourself throughout the year. I think waiting for the start of a new year to set a goal you're most likely going to give up on is setting yourself up for failure. However, because my birthday and the start of the new year have always been so close, it's a total clean slate feeling for me, so I like to reflect on the past year and figure out what kind of changes need to be made for the upcoming one.

Instead of setting one or two large lofty goals for myself I wanted to focus on some habitual changes that I'd like to incorporate over the course of the year. I am eventually going to set some fitness related goals, but since there was a little falling off the wagon happening in December, I'd like to get in the swing of things first and then set up some appropriate physical goals. In the mean time, I'll be going to the gym at least 3 times a week. (So far, so good.)

Originally my plan was to choose 12 habits I either wanted to break or pick up and focus on one each month. They said it takes about 30 days in a row of doing something for it to become a "habit." I was going to spend one month per habit and hopefully at the end of the year be a much improved version of Angie. But, in true Angie form, I couldn't wait. So I have started two habits for the month of January.

1) Make the bed every morning.
This makes me happy. Not in the morning so much when I'm rushing out the door and am trying to make the bed around a 20 pound lump of pug, but when I get home at night and I'm making my way to bed. I LOVE turning down the sheets and snuggling into a made bed. And it just looks nicer too.

2) Wash all dishes before bed each night.
Same idea here. I may not thoroughly enjoy going to bed with all the dishes done, but I can't tell you how happy it makes me to wake up in the morning and have a sink NOT full of dirty dishes. Actually, I can tell you it probably makes me an inappropriate level of happy. Maybe I talked to the animals this morning about how nice it was..maybe.

Here's some of the other habits I'll be working on over the course of the year. Some of them are more profound and impressive than others. (Actually most of them are the "others" but together they'll join forces to make a Super Angie.) This gets long...and it's mostly for me to reference later. I don't expect anyone to really care that I plan on picking flossing back up at some point.

Volunteer at least 3 times a month.
I already have a steady habit of 2-3 times a month since about May of last year, but I want to keep this up and up it to 3 steadily. Given that "volunteering" equals "playing games and play-doh with kids" for me, I think I can handle it.

Floss.
For about 6 months I KILLED it at flossing. Every single night before I went to bed I flossed. Then I bought shitty floss and it all just went to hell. So I'm going to buy new, better floss and pick this one back up.

Hang up clothes / keep closet floor clean.
I have a terrible habit. And if I knew my Dad read this blog I wouldn't even put this on here because he'd be so disappointed. (He actually removed my closet doors in high school because of this terrible habit.) I believe closet doors are there for a reason and that reason is to hide mess. So when I come home at night instead of putting my clothes somewhere, they're for the most part strewn about my closet. Some "hung" in some strange way, others thrown on the floor, some folded on a shelf. The ridiculous part is that I have HUGE closets. With organization things in them. So I have the space and tools to NOT be a closet slob. When I bought my house, my dad pointed out to me how clean the guy kept his closets.

Empty car.
This habit has vastly improved over the years. My dad used to ask every time he got in my car or looked in the trunk, "So where does the transient live?" as if to suggest I had enough shit in my car for a person to actually live there. To be fair, in high school, I actually did. So I don't have nearly as much shit in there now, but I'm guilty of just leaving random stuff in there out of laziness. I brought a different pair of shoes to change into, leave the first pair in there. That coffee mug? Nah, I'll just use a different one tomorrow. Oh THAT'S where that fleece is. Those kind of things. So my plan is to take EVERYTHING that doesn't belong in the car with me each night when I get home.

No snooze button.
Oh god. This one freaks me out. It's likely I'll save this for December because I'm too scared of it. I love my snooze button dearly. I've been known to snooze in 9 minute increments for over an hour. It's stupid and makes me even MORE tired than if I just would get up at the first alarm. I need to break this habit but I don't know how to quit my snooze button. It's a deeply rooted, long lasting love affair.

And that's what I've got for now. There's more that will come up over the course of the year I'm certain. And I've got some other general goals I'll talk about some other time, like "Don't date douchebags."

I'm a work in progress people.

Happy 2012! / Go to hell 2011.

I have two posts kind of wrestling around in my mind for who gets to go first. Both of which are pretty much the same thing you've read everywhere else. A recap of 2011 and a looking forward for 2012. Except with my own personal twist on them, of course.

Now that 2011 is over I feel like I can finally talk about it without fear of repercussion. And with that confidence, I'd like to say loudly peace the F out 2011. Now before you get all "wow, she obviously doesn't appreciate what she has" on me. Let me explain. 2011 was not BAD. But it wasn't great. I had a TON of awesome things happen in 2011 including the most visits to MN I've ever had, more time with friends and family here than I have ever had and lots of ridiculously fun things happen in general. But I've been desperate for a clean slate. I know you can have one whenever, but there's nothing quite like a new calendar year to get a jump start on it. No matter how many awesome things happened in 2011 it was still the year of the Great Break-up of 2011. The year my life flipped around and changed on me. In general it felt like a year I wasn't really the driver of. I am proud as HELL of myself for what I've done for me. I've busted through that break-up like a champ, pulled myself up by the bootstraps and trucked on through what was left of 2011.

And good things did happen. I went to Vegas and killed it at my first major event I was responsible for. My beloved Packers won the Super Bowl and in doing so became World Champions. I got to watch the Royal Wedding, ridiculously early in the morning with one of my very best friends. Then we threw a Frat party. I spent a weekend in Chicago just me and my mom. I took part in the 8th Annual Summerfest Weekend. I got to see my future husband David Gray AND celebrate a Rodeo in one weekend. I suffered from a pretty serious obsession with FNL and one Tim Riggins. I went to adult summer camp...and lived to tell about it. I accidentally took an African Dance Class. The Brewers went farther into the season then they have since I was born. I got to celebrate Homecoming with my best friends from college. I fell and bonked my head the hardest I ever have. I had an all time high number of Saturdates with Siobhan at the Irish Pub and loved everyone of them. I met new friends, new men and new coworkers. I saw friends get married, engaged and have babies.

So now? I get to have 2012. No great break-up, no ridiculous Ex to have to deal with. Plus, it's an even number and I love even numbers. So given that it's 2012 and I just turned 28 you can imagine how pleased I am with this year so far. Given it's evenness. I get to have repeats of some of my "best ofs" from 2011. And new things from 2012. I'll keep meeting new people, having fun with the ones I've already got.

I am fully prepared to ROCK THE SHIT out of 2012.