Friday, August 10, 2012

Summer Balance

Last weekend was the first weekend in a long time where I didn't have any major plans. It occurred to me on Saturday, after I finished up the ONE thing I had to do for the entire weekend that I was without plans. And this overwhelming sense of freedom came over me. I was pumping gas on my way to Trader Joe's (which I was able to go to - it's 45 minutes from my house - because of all the free time I had). I realized, I could do whatever I want. I could get coffee. I could read at the dog park. I could take the longer more scenic way home. I could get a movie or sushi or go to Target or just sit in my house. I could do any or all of those things and I could do them all without a time frame. If I wanted to take 3 hours to grocery shop I could.

It's an interesting balance I'm trying to strike with my calendar. As a single person without anyone depending on my schedule I am free as a bird to plan whatever events I want, whenever I want. Which is both a blessing and a curse. See when you have even one other person living with you - you can blame anything and everything you need to on that person. "oh, I'd love to do dinner, but we have plans" or "I think that might work, but I better check with him / her" and then you can say no and it's totally perceived it's the other person's fault.

So here's the thing - when I was coaching, my calendar was mostly work and the rest was cheer. I had something after work almost every day and most weekends during competition season. I had very little spare time. Then I retired and had more time than I knew what to do with. I'd get home at 5:30 and just wander around the house thinking of what I was going to do with the WHOLE night ahead of me. At the time I had a live-in boyfriend. Then when that ended, I had all this time and if I sat at home I felt like a total hermit. So over the course of  the last year I started branching out. I met new friends, got involved in new things, started volunteering, etc. I started a new job so now there's new co-workers AND old co-workers. All of a sudden I'm so far from a hermit. I'm busy. I have plans with kick ass people doing ridiculous fun things. And the thing is, I don't want to NOT do those things. But I also like things like sleep and a positive balance in my bank account.

This summer has served as a lesson in balance. I went balls out at the beginning and pretty much never said no. It was awesome. Then I went total extreme opposite and with Mel adopted "No Obligation August" which I'm doing quite well. This is also awesome. Someday maybe I'll find a balance in between. Where I've got some plans, but other times I can be a hermit and hole up at home. It's probably necessary so I don't get SO excited over nights where I'm in bed at 6:00 in pajamas with sushi and wine. Excited enough that I'm anticipating a repeat performance the following weekend.

But realistically, no amount of sleep or rest or money could make me trade in the summer I've had. I've spent time with old friends, reconnected with others. I've made new friends, tried new things, went new places and enjoyed every minute of it. And not a second goes by where I don't realize how amazingly lucky I am to have so many wonderful people in my life to spend time with. And how thankful I am that they don't get mad when I tell them I can't hang out because I'm going to sleep or clean or sit at home and do nothing.

No comments:

Post a Comment