Thankful.

Say yes we live uncertainty
And disappointments have to be
And everyday we might be facing more
And yes we live in desperate times
But fading words and shaking rhymes
There’s only one thing here worth hoping for
With Lucifer beneath you and God above
If either one of them asks you what your living of
Say love, say for me love

I swear, I am going to go do a Houston re-cap post. I have pictures now and will write that soon. But in the mean time we have this.

My brain was on overdrive this weekend. I'm not exactly sure what caused it. I had a relaxing weekend with very little plans planned and maybe the time alone to think started it. I watched 50/50 on Friday night (and drank a bottle of wine) so perhaps that sparked some of it. I started talking to a new stranger friend,  and much of the "get to know" you conversation makes you think about life. My brother lost a close friend from an overdose on Sunday and that threw all the previous thoughts of the weekend into this crazy amplified arena. So here we are on Monday and I need to put all these thoughts somewhere. They might not all make sense together and most of them happened at random points throughout the course of the last 60+ hours. Also, I feel like I have to knock on wood throughout this WHOLE DAMN POST because it feels like I'm jinxing stuff. So if you don't mind, before you read on, can you give a little extra knock for me?

I am happy. I've shared this a couple times over the last few weeks in various posts. But it's been creeping up on me and I've been a little leery of screaming it from the rooftops. (Like if you admit to seeing it happiness will just run away??) I finally admitted it out loud to my friend Siobhan on Saturday night. I'm always, generally speaking, a happy person. But I have actually stopped what I'm doing on numerous occasions in the last few months and been taken aback by just how happy I am. Things are awesome, I'm blessed and lucky. And the fact that I've made it happen on my own (of course with a hell of a supporting cast) is just icing on the happiness cake. 

Healthy and here. My family has faced some wicked hardships in the past couple years. (Though, I clearly get my happy tendencies and overall smiley nature from my parents because you sure as hell wouldn't guess it from interacting with them!) I know things have taken their toll and on occasion we've gotten down. But what really matters is that we're all healthy and we're all here. As long as that remains, we're capable of facing the rest. Words can't do justice to how thankful I am about that.

Life is fragile.  My brother lost a close friend this weekend to an overdose. No one saw it coming, no one even knew he was using what he was. It hit me hard for a number of reasons. 1) he was my brother's age. I can't imagine living life without my brother and it completely overwhelmed me to even consider it. 24 is too young to die no matter the circumstances. 2) I hate seeing my brother sad. I'm a complete crybaby and everyone knows that. Tears form almost immediately when I see anyone cry ever. But when my brother is sad it rips at my heart in a way that I can't even describe. 3) It scares me that people can have such deep secrets and hardships without anyone every knowing. 

You just never know. You don't know what other people are facing, so be nice to everyone. Nothing is guaranteed so make sure everyone you love knows you feel that way. Hug a little longer and talk more often. Put aside petty things now while you can and not when it's too late. We don't get forever so take advantage of what we are given. Be thankful for what you have, don't focus on the have nots. Enjoy the people who make your life better and spend less time and effort on those who don't.