Christmas at the Zoo.

I decorated my house for Christmas this past weekend. It is by intention that my Christmas tree is coordinated as much as it is. It's my adult tree. When you have kids you have to have a tree with all their "cute" art projects on it. Until then, I get a grown-up tree. It's most likely by subconscious but constant love for the U that three's color scheme is maroon and gold.

Now all I want to do is be in my living room / kitchen. Also, I've deemed this holiday season Christmas at the Zoo. I tweeted about a hundred things about the pets and their reactions to the decoration. Kitten likes to investigate the tree. She sniffs the branches so close to her little nose it makes her sneeze. Then I giggle because it's the cutest sneeze you've ever heard. Then Bella decides she's guard of the tree and chases Gracie out from under it. At one point Gracie got 1/3 of the way up the tree. The guard went crazy. No ornaments were broken...that's because I knew enough from last year and didn't place any breakable ornaments anywhere on the lower half of the tree. This lesson was learned the hard way last year during Gracie's first Christmas. The time I saw the tree moving a little bit, walked over to it and at EYE LEVEL saw two beady little eyes staring back at me. The time I pulled a kitten out from the middle of a Christmas tree.

Gracie wants to be by the tree at all times. This conflicts with her desire to be at my side at all times. So anytime I'm upstairs, she meows until we go downstairs and she can be by me and Bella AND the tree. She sleeps under it, runs around the bottom of it, sniffs it and bats at the ornaments until I yell at her. No matter where she is, when Bella hears me yell at her, she runs at full speed towards the tree barking at Gracie. (Which is more nerve wracking than Gracie playing with the tree. If you've ever seen Bella run at full force, she's not the most graceful creature and often resembles a bull in a china shop.)

If you look through the pictures on my phone you'll notice something (non-Christmas related) I'm mildly obsessed with. Trying to take a picture of the zoo mates snuggling. Ever since the kitten joined the family (over a year ago now!) I was totally in love with the idea of her and Bella being best friends and snuggling. They are not best friends, though I think that they pretend to dislike each other more than they actually do. They love playing Wrestlemania together. But any time they're even remotely close to snuggling, I try to take a picture (so I can pretend like they do it all the time.) Here's the closest they've come...multiple body parts were touching. It happened kind of by accident because Gracie was laying on me and when I moved she slid down and landed on Bella, both of them too damn tired to care.

Seriously. Could these two be any cuter? And also, it doesn't look like that close but in person they were TOUCHING.

And because I'm also all about proving how crazy my pets are (through no fault of my own). Here's the outtake of the snuggle picture. Notice the look of fear in Bella's eyes. It's like she can sense lasers.

**Look Sukie, pictures!

How to Love an American Man.

There are no words to convince you how wonderful this book is. I can't even begin to tell you how engrossed in it I was. I started it on Friday morning and by Sunday morning I had read through every page. I have a list of little nuggets of advice and wisdom that I scribbled down as I was reading. It's the best book I can remember reading...ever.

Originally suggested to me by Jenna the minute I read the description I knew I had to have it. With the extra time off and relaxation in store for Thanksgiving weekend I convinced my mom to give me her Kindle since I knew she'd want to read this after me. This book is inspiring on a number of levels. The author paints so vividly a picture of what so many people feel and suffer from when they're trying to figure it all out. It reminds you of where you need to be before you can depend on others. The wisdom and experience of generations before us. And above all else, what you truly need to be happy.

When I started this book I was sitting in a Starbucks on Black Friday. Curled up in the very back of the store I was ready to dive in. However, (as you saw via my tweets on Friday morning) I had to read a couple of pages, then set it down. Gather myself and then start again. This happened a few times. The first chapter was so touching I was in tears within PAGES of the start. The poor little boy sitting next to me with his Gameboy was probably terrified of the sad lady in the corner.

Here's the book description from Amazon:

An endearing and unforgettable memoir of love, self-discovery, and enduring, old-fashioned values

Kristine Gasbarre made a New York career of dating driven, inaccessible men. When she realizes her love life will never result in happiness if she continues on the same path, she makes a big decision—relocating to Italy to discover her roots and find out what defines her adoring grandpa. But upon receiving the news of his sudden passing, she is lured away.

With nowhere left to go, Krissy returns to her small hometown for the first time in a decade to help care for her grandmother—a refined, private matriarch suffering from early dementia along with the loss of her husband. In her reluctant agreement to share the nearly lost love stories and transformative lessons from her rich sixty-year marriage, Krissy’s grandma becomes the one offering comfort as she coaches her granddaughter through the fear of loving. Grandma’s unapologetic femininity and secret giving spirit opens Krissy’s eyes about relationships, teaching her the single most important requisite for loving a man: first a woman has to learn the power of her own inner beauty.

As I mentioned, I have a list of snippets from this book, that I will review probably daily for a while...and while I don't want to post them all (because I just KNOW you're all going to read the book), some of my very favorite are below:

"Relationships aren't just a blessing, they're a necessity. The trials of the individual are never enough reason not to love."

"A woman is too precious to compromise her good time or her happiness because things haven't gone her way with a man."

"A partner should make us want to improve ourselves constantly, and urge us to maximize what we contribute to the world."

If you're looking for something to add to your Christmas list, or a heart warming story to curl up next to the Christmas tree with - I have to insist you add this to your must buy list. You won't regret it!

Long time, no talk.

Been a while. Things have been busy but I've got some time this morning to catch you all up on my life. There were strong intentions of making this one cohesive thought. Then I didn't.

Last week my family and I went to see the Avett Brothers for my mom's birthday. Yes, please read that sentence again and let it sink it. It helps in making you realize how seriously awesome my family is. It was the first time the Nikolas Nucleus (Nikleus?) has been together in a while. As much as I love when other people get to join us (especially when said people are under 3' tall), sometimes it's nice to just be the 4 of us. The show was amazing. They played almost ALL of my favorite songs, introduced me to new ones that I'm now in love with, and had a KILLER opening band that I actually enjoyed! And, even though I found out yesterday that they covered "Angie" by the Rolling Stones at Saturday's show, I'm still happy I was at the Friday show. We all enjoyed it, it was awesome. I got to sit next to my brother and he had me roaring in laughter for the whole damn thing. It was as pretty close to perfect as it gets.

This week I have a ridiculously fun social life. I haven't eaten a meal alone since last week Thursday and it looks like that won't be happening until next week. That is amazing. I've had dinners with friends, lunches with coworkers, a great lunch with a new friend, dinners with out of town friends, and a few in there with the above mentioned awesome family. It's been amazing, my sleep is suffering but it's totally worth it. The only friend I haven't been frequently seeing is my good old friend, Gym. I fell off that wagon HARD this week, I'll be snuggling up close with Gym next week. I miss you Gym.

Yesterday my co-worker told me, "I love sitting next to you because you're always so happy and cheerful." This is one of the best compliments I can get. Made my entire day. He also calls me dear and I enjoy that too.

Knowing strangers read your blog is weird. I understand that's the whole point, and that inevitably when you put something out on the interweb, someone might read it. But for the last 3(ish) years, I've been pretty convinced it was my mom, my MN friends and Siobhan who were reading this...now that I know, I feel like maybe I shouldn't say fuck so much? Perhaps tone down the crazy cat lady? Stop sharing escapades of falling and hitting my head because I was wearing high heels? Then again, those original readers who knew me in person first know it's highly unlikely somehow at 28 I'll develop a censor or filter on my thoughts I share. And seriously, while I can control the f bombs when necessary (when grandmas or small children are present) it's also unlikely that's going anywhere either.

Hope y'all have a fantastic Thanksgiving celebration. Hug your friends, tell your family you love them, eat more than you should, nap longer than necessary and enjoy the time spent thinking about what you're thankful for. As much as this is not at all where I thought life would take me, I have thought many times over the last few months at how ridiculously blessed I am. There is more love in my life than most people ever get to experience. I've got amazing friends, an incredible family and two of the cutest damn furkids you've ever seen in your life in a house that I get to call mine. A house I get to go to after a job I really enjoy doing. There's so much I'm thankful for sometimes I think it's not fair. But I'll take all these blessings I've got, be thankful for them every chance I can and give back whenever the opportunity presents itself.

And of course, thanks to you all for reading about my sometimes ridiculous, sometimes boring life through my random thoughts and posts. It warms my heart to know people are entertained by it all.

Smell the roses.

Sometimes, when you get all caught up in life and focus on all the wrong things it can be overwhelming and down right exhausting. Other times you just have your period and blow everything out of proportion - that is also exhausting.

Whatever it may be, life has this way about it. A way of slapping you right across the face with good stuff and great people and all of a sudden you're totally reminded to stop and enjoy it. I've been slapped, hard. I know I wasn't super upset about anything but I was in a little bit of a funk, during what I called the perfect storm. The funk has cleared. For many reasons, some of which I'm going to share. Others I'm going to keep to myself. (Well Mom & Kyle also get to know because they're gchat all-stars who brighten my day with random comments and stories. Lucky them.)

• There are 10, TEN Christmas trees currently being put up around our office today. And lights and garland and bows. HELL YES. Christmas is here.
• I drank last night and feel like a million bucks this morning - hangovers be warned, I'm beginning to outsmart you!
• We're almost to Thanksgiving which means, Christmas is almost here!
  
• Tonight I get to go see the Avett Brothers with my family. That's how cool we are. Jealous?
• It's been a LONG time since just the nucleus fam got to spend time together - looking forward to the original 4 hanging out.
  
• Then after I get done seeing an awesome show with my fam, I'm going to have some really awesome visitors from MN waiting for me at my house!
• Tomorrow I get to hang out with the MN visitors, take my nephew to Happy Feet 2, go celebrate the last few days of singlehood of a friend, and then spend even MORE time with those MN friends.
  
• I am working on an awesome project at work. It's all new stuff, I feel like a total rock star for being able to figure out so much stuff I've never worked on before. It's a huge campaign and I am literally doing flips inside for how excited I am that I get to work on it.
  
• My boss and I have hit this total stride where we're getting each other, getting along and really at a great place. It's awesome.
  
• Christmas is almost here! (Did I mention that?)
• I tried out a sweet new color at my pedicure last weekend and I'm STILL loving it each time I see it. (It's the little things people!)
• Next to Normal is coming to Milwaukee. Mom & I saw this in Chicago and I loved it. I'm dying to see it again.
• Someone, a stranger who doesn't know me and isn't my mom, read my blog and complimented me on it. It entirely made my day. (Not that I don't love when people who DO know me tell me they like it! But you all already know my style.)
• My brother made me laugh so hard today on the phone at work I had people concerned about my ability to breath. We were talking about windbreakers.

Looking forward to riding this wave of goodness right on through the weekend. Happy Friday y'all - have a good one.

Random Thoughts (Again).

The number of random thoughts posts I do should give a pretty good indication of how often I have cohesive thoughts vs. how often my brain is randomly shouting out things. I had a moment with my mom last weekend where I asked / stated about 5 things in a row, answered my own question and changed the subject. All in about 30 seconds. And followed it up with, "you'd be amazed how often that exact sequence happens in my head on a daily basis." It's true - and sometimes it happens out loud via this blog. You're welcome.

Even with a reduction, there are still things that my boobs are too big for. Button down shirts are hit or miss depending on fit and where their from. I found a couple at Target that I thought worked. Until I realized AFTER wearing it all day at work, I was offering a little between the buttons peep show directly into my cleavage. This morning I thought I fixed it with double sided tape. Lesson learned: The pull of my boobs is stronger than double sided tape. Creepy male co-workers, you're welcome.

I might be the crazy girl at work. I've been using my headphones a lot more lately - helps me truck on through work. However, no one has any idea what's happening in these headphones of mine. I love using the quick mix station on Pandora. However this leads to some REALLY random mixing. Here are some of my stations: Broadway, Tupac, Christmas (there's 2 of those actually), Adele, Jason Aldean, etc.This leads to utter ridiculousness as I go from Kenny Chesney to Mariah Carey to Tupac to music from Rent. And it is next to impossible for me to listen to music without at the very least mouthing the words (at most all out dance party - seriously, check me out when listening to Bieber. It's borderline sick.) So I'm sure I look super cool at my desk. Also, I discovered this today - which has had me literally LOL-ing in my cube at some of the things Ryan Gosseling says ("Hey Girl, I'm still LOLing over that cat video you sent me." I died.)

Last night my nephew and I talked about Target at least 5 times over the course of dinner. He informed me we could get Christmas movies there, Santa gets his toys from there and also asked if I got my new phone at Target. Seriously, I'm imparting my love on this kid. I beam with pride that he wants to talk Target with me.

Instead of dragging my vacuum downstairs last night, I used the handheld vacuum. On the ENTIRE first floor. That's irrational to think it was less work.

I realized yesterday it's been 9 months since the Great Breakup of 2011. Sometimes time flies. Also, in high school whenever anything happened for 9 months my friends and I would say, "you could have had a baby in that time." I'm pretty happy that much time has passed. And that I did NOT have a baby.

I'm trying to teach my nephew that a picture of Clay Matthews on my phone is "Angie's boyfriend." So there's that.

I have friends coming to stay with me this weekend. Last night when I went to assess the current clean situation of the house I realized it's in pretty good shape. This realization led to two others. 1) I'm pretty much a grown-up now given that my house is clean more often than needing to be cleaned. 2) Living by yourself makes it 50% easier to keep the house clean. Also I really only use 3 rooms in my house that has 7. (1 bathroom, kitchen & bedroom.)

I informed my brother last night of my theory that dating sounds like SO much work. And that I kind of like NOT dating. He agreed and reinforced the theory. Related: we might be those weird siblings who live together at like 40 with no significant others. At least we'll have the nephew for entertainment.

I heard on the radio this morning that there's a scene at the end of Breaking Dawn Part I AFTER the credits and that if you go to see it you HAVE to stay for that scene. I've never seen a Twilight movie and have no intention of seeing this one. But for some reason I am feeling strongly compelled to spread this message and have some pretty serious concern that a lot of people are going to miss it. Another irrational thought.

The Zoo.

I'm watching my parents' dog for a few days this week. Which in case your keeping track - means the 4 legged creatures are currently outnumbering me 3:1. And the pugs have an even stance against kitty and I (my parents also have a pug).

I had some theories on how this would go but I was most curious to see if it would be Pugs vs. Kitten or Insiders vs. Outsider. Turns out, no one is teaming up and they're all just assholes against each other. This comes as very little surprise to me as I'm quite familiar with the fact that both my dog and my kitten are assholes on their own.

So the entire time I'm home with the three of them it goes something like this. Bella spends all her energy on getting all animals riled up and boxing out Lucy. No matter where Lucy wants to go or have, Bella boxes her out. And because she stands a good 5" over Lucy, she can do that. Gracie has only hissed at one thing the entire time I've known her, Lucy. Let it be known Lucy is NOT a threat to Gracie. If she can kick Bella's ass, she can TOTALLY take on Lucy. Any time Lucy gets within a 2 foot radius of Gracie, she's arches her back and hisses until Lucy runs away scared. Seeing the asshole trend yet?

When I got home last night I tried to figure out how we were going to go potty. I thought perhaps I could put Bella on her leash and Lucy could just go free. We tried that. Lucy was afraid to climb down the two steps on the deck and Bella was pissed she was on a leash. Also, this is random, there were some kids out playing some sort of makeshift laser tag dressed like ninjas (you can't make this shit up). Bella kept barking at them, which made them a little scared so they all just stopped and stood still. And no matter how many times I told myself they were just kids with fancy flashlights...it freaked me out! (They were DRESSED LIKE NINJAS. I know enough not to fuck with ninjas...even small ones. And what if they weren't just flashlights?!) So then I took Bella around front and guess who was there - THE NINJAS. This time I could see them in the light though...and they were in fact small children with fancy flashlights. Bella eventually peed, brought her back inside, took Lucy out - she freaked. Brought her back in, put her on a leash, she peed. SUCCESS.

Much to my surprise last night, we were all able to find a spot on the bed, relax and actually get some sleep. (After much whining, chasing, biting and wrestling. Them, not me. Okay, I probably whined a little.)

It totally threw off my morning routine. But it doesn't take much to do that. I have a VERY meticulous morning routine that I do the same damn near every single morning. It's in the same order and the same things happen. So throwing in one more temporary furkid to the mix is enough to change things up.

All things considered, it went better than I anticipated. Lucy has adjusted to being on a leash to go outside. Bella has gotten over the fact that she's on a leash around Lucy. (They're typically only together at my parents and because they have a large fenced in yard, they're never leashed and have free reign). Bella responds to the command "potty". Lucy responds to "tink". So you can picture me, this morning with my pugs on leashes (Bella boxing out, Lucy panting heavily) repeating over and over and over, "Lucy, Tink. Bella, Potty." And then a lot of "No, leave her alone. You go over there. Don't get tangled. STOP following her. Let her pee!" Thankfully, this morning I didn't have any neighbor interactions - or they definitely would have labeled me "over the edge." (And probably also, "single for life" by the addition of yet another animal.)

Each time I get home, my mom calls to ask if there's still three animals there. I think we're only half joking.

You can't make everybody happy.

I'm working on this. By no means am I pulling a humblebrag and claiming to be a total people pleaser who is just always trying to make others happy. I'm not. But sometimes I think everyone has those times where they're a little wrapped up in people pleasing and forget about number one. Because no matter what type of person you are, you should always remember you are the ONLY person who is solely responsible for putting you first. Not in a selfish way, but in a look out for yourself kind of way. It's a fine line, I fully admit. And I know that at some point in my life, I'll have kids and then I'll be responsible for their happiness...but for now, it's just me (well, me and a cat and a dog. But trust me, those two are PLENTY happy.)

When I went through the Great Breakup of 2011 and felt like the Ex (and some of his family) were going batshit crazy I kept reminding myself the following: Your actions and emotions are the only ones you can control. You can try with all your might to control other people, and sometimes you might even get to for a little bit, but at the end of the day the only person you can fully control is yourself.

Sometimes situations are out of your control. People will react how then want, when they want. You can't make everybody happy. And if you're emotions and actions are the only ones you can control, then you need to do what is best for you, right? Now obviously, I understand there is some small print associated with this theory. You should look out for yourself and make yourself happy first as long as it's not causing harm or severe hurt towards anyone else (or their emotions). You can't constantly only make yourself happy because eventually the people in your life will think you're an asshole and eventually part ways with you.

The best part about this is that the people who really truly matter, the ones who care with every fiber of their being, WANT this for you. They want you to be happy. They understand what you want and need might not be what they think you want / need. But they support you and whatever it takes to make you the happiest you you can be. And those people? They're the ones whose thoughts and opinions truly matter. Thankfully, I have a shitload of these people in my life.

I guess my point of this somewhat scattered rant is that I'm growing tired of worrying about how someone else might feel to the point that I forget about how I might feel. I need to make Angie happy. This could legitimately be the last long period of time where I'm a single entity. I don't have roommates to be concerned about, a boyfriend's plans to take into consideration or a kid to alter what I need / want. It's just Angie.

The Perfect Storm.

I mentioned on Twitter earlier today that I've got this post that's been haunting me all week. I wrote it, rewrote it, broke it into pieces, reworked it, put it back together...no matter what I do with it, I don't like it enough to publish it. I believe that's because in the back of my head I keep reminding myself what I've been reminding myself ALL WEEK LONG.

"You have your period. You're funking from getting back from MN (happens every time). It's the perfect storm of crazy emotions. DO NOT make any major decisions or public statements of opinion."

So I'm not publishing that post (but as Kyle pointed out, I've put it down and let it out - even if y'all never get to read it - and that made me feel better.)

So instead you're getting sort of a random stream of consciousness.

• A Twitter friend suggested letting my twitter followers suggest some words I need to weave into a post. So I did. So far I have carpetbagger and zombies (that's going to be a promising post).
  
• I made a new friend at work (who's NOT on my immediate team) and we're going out to Happy Hour next week. For some reason this makes me feel substantially more grown-up than it should. (I own a home...happy hour with a new work friend should not be the definition of a grown up. Related: My mind is an interesting place.)
• I've cried more times than appropriate (even for me) this week. I've got all sorts of crazy running around in this body. I blame the period (sorry any male readers, I said the "p-word" twice now), head trauma and dog fight. That's too much for one week. Oh and Parenthood and Grey's Anatomy. Damn those shows, damn them right to hell. (But seriously? The birthday cards on Parenthood? I died.)
• I've been listening to Christmas music all week and I'm considering making this a year long "thing." You cannot be in a bad mood when you hear Christmas music. Just try it. (P.S. If you can be in a bad mood, you're the grinch. Just FYI.)
• Three different holiday related volunteer opportunities came in this week and I said a resounding YES to all of them. I'm beyond excited. AND, I get to do all 3 of them with my mom :)
• One of them is this event. This will be something like my 11th year doing it. I'm beyond excited. I could cry just thinking about it. (Seriously, I have a leak or something.)
• I found an extra vacation day today! I thought I used 'em all up but I didn't!
  
• I will be off more days than I'll be working in December. Does anyone still wonder why I love December so much?!
• Mom just gchatted me to tell me radio stations started playing xmas music...and there was a lot of !!! after it. Am I her daughter or what? Then she said my dad is the only man she knows who rushes into Christmas as much as she does. No questions of adoption around these parts.
  
• My nephew says, "Let's bounce" when he's ready to leave somewhere. He's 3.
  
• Kyle told me today he has been checking for a new post daily this week. And then I died via flattery.
  
• Last night I came the closest I ever have to dying due to cuteness. The kitten and pup really turned it up last night and I almost couldn't stand it. (Related: this could be why I'll be single forever.)
  

That's probably a long enough visit to my brain for a Friday afternoon. Oh! And feel free to put suggestions in the comments of this post for things you'd like me to weave into future posts. Or post suggestions in general. If you don't, it's likely you're going to continue hearing about my petting zoo.

Disclaimer: I had no idea (until reading this whole post to proof it) how many times I say "seriously" and site reasons I've "died"...which in this post were apparently from cuteness, flattery and sad situations on a TV. Yup, I've got a good, solid grip on reality!

The one where I bonked my head.

I shortened up that working title a little bit. It's the same idea really. (Also, sorry for the back to back novels...I'll write shorter posts soon.)

Last weekend I headed up to Minneapolis for my 6th trip to Minneapolis this year. It was one of my best friend's b-days and since in the past few years I have never gotten to celebrate with her, it just made sense to head up there to celebrate ringing in her 27th year! The best part was we surprised her with another guest she didn't expect! Amy flew in from Alaska and we totally planned the best surprise ever (over beers and fajitas...which is how we ended up with 5 different versions before we got to the right one.) It worked, she was totally surprised. She cried, then I did. (Who's shocked?) We spent Friday at Sukie's house drinking wine and having appetizers. (Thankfully Danielle brought the conceptualization of taco dip, or as we're now calling it Danielle Dip). Surprisingly, given this was our "low key" night of the weekend there was a number of spills and one shattered wine glass. As Sukie put it, it was just like being back in the sorority house (except with 16 bottles of wine). Eight sorority girls on one couch (not meant for 8) all talking over each other and laughing uncontrollably. It was just perfect.

Saturday we woke up for Spin class (read that again, it's worth reading twice). It felt really good to start the day that way and extra fun to get to work out with friends! I'm used to doing all my stuff here by myself so it was fun to have friends to go with! Followed that up with a little Chipotle and shopping. All in preparation for Sae's Birthday Extravaganza!

We met for dinner at Pairings. Because Sae is so lovable we had a group large enough to reserve the party room and it was literally the perfect place for a group dinner. The restaurant has a great concept. You order your food, then you can go to the attached wine store and they'll recommend which bottle will match your food best. Beyond having a room we could fill and be loud and obnoxious in (without disturbing the peace of other diners), because you order your food at a counter there is no figuring out the bill at the end of dinner! BEST PART EVER. And I had macaroni and cheese so of course it was good.

Following dinner we made our way to Pyscho Suzi's were there were drinks on fire and tiki decorations galore. Joe and I developed the Wisconsin Hand Hug, Jeremy tried to take it down with the Minnesota Mummy. This is where the recap of the weekend moves from cohesive activities to the little blips I can remember (things moved quickly). We moved to Gasthof's. Which apparently plays polka music until midnight and then switches over to hip hop.

Sae snuck us a ride. We tried to give directions in Spanish. Instead of sharing a mixed drink (made from 13 different bottles) that's served in a mug larger than I'd order a beer in Danielle and I drank our own. There were enough straws in it for a soccer team to share. Eventually our arms got tired and we raced to finish what we could of the last 1/3. (It was as good of a decision as you're imagining.) We did the Cupid Shuffle. I made friends with a Security Guard and told him it was okay for him to use his size. Sae snuck another ride. We lost Amy & Jer. We found Jer and lost Amy. We managed to get back to Sukie's house with 5 in the car and 4 in the trunk.

And then...because I'm me (and because I'm my mother's daughter), I fell. It happened quick and I can honestly say it wasn't because I had been drinking. I was wearing heels (which for me, on stairs, is more dangerous than alcohol). I had a few bags in my hands, made it to the top of the stairs, lost my footing and then went backwards...and the first thing to hit the sidewalk was my head. My biggest concern though was that I had to pee so bad I was 99% sure if I didn't immediately get up and pee I'd do it right there in front of EVERYONE. Thankfully my friends care more about thinks like being paralyzed than peeing in your pants so they made me stay still and no one could touch me until Jeremy (1/2 of my major medical team) checked me out and ok'd me to get up and pee.

My major medical team. That is my puke bucket on Jeremy's head, you know, in case you were wondering.

I happen to be the luckiest girl in the world because I had not one but TWO certified medical professionals at the after bar with me who literally sat with me for hours making sure I wasn't concussed or dying. And beyond being helpful they were entertaining and provided fantastic security from those who were...less helpful. Jammer did come and perform some bedside tweets for me which I greatly appreciated. #getbonked #concussedquotes

Major Medical Team congratulating each other on saving the patient.

Sunday morning we woke up and naturally ended up at Perkins (seriously, it was college). Following our breakfast (and Booth Bieber Dance Party), Amy and I got on the road to head home. Thankfully, once again she was my hero and drove the ENTIRE way home. Seriously made my life by doing it.

So that was my weekend. I still have a little bit of a headache, but as Jeremy informed me a number of times on Saturday night, "You'll have that when you hit your head on cement." So there's that. I have the best friends in the whole world. We have so much damn fun. Another great weekend goes into the books.

Kyle, you're welcome, it's a novel and I didn't split it up into multiple posts. :)

I also need to welcome my newest fan, Danielle, who was a big part of this weekend. And we also decided we're glad we get to be friends now.

He's really friendly.

I do plan on doing a little recap post of this past weekend (working title: That time I kicked off the after bar by falling down the stairs and bonking my head), but this just happened last night and I'm still worked up about it so I'm blogging this now and will sneak in the weekend recap later.

A few things shall be made clear before I even start telling the story.

1) I like my dog more than some people enjoy people. My brother has expressed semi-serious concern that I may like my dog more than future kids I have.

2) I hate having to take the dog out for the "right before we go to bed potty break." It's dark, and now it's cold, and I create all sorts of scary things that live in the swamp across the street. So there's that. (I've almost retrained my brain though, because now I look for airplanes. My neighbors may all think I'm crazy as I stare at the night sky while the dog finds her perfect pee spot, but it distracts me from thinking about the swamp thing.)

So last night, I actually woke myself up, got out of bed and went to take Bella out. I muttered under my breath as I found shoes, zipped up my jacket and got her to stop moving long enough to get a leash on her. And we made our way outside. It was strange from the start. There was some asshole screaming fuck from his deck and then howling like a wolf. (followed by some drunk chick LOUDLY shushing him. Why is there always a drunk chick with the asshole?!) So I was weirded out from the start.

Then comes along crazy neighbor. This woman is legitimately bat shit crazy. Like, see it in her eyes, walk to the other side of the street (if you don't straight up turn around for fear of having to talk to her and hear her crazy lady babbling) kind of crazy. I avoid her like the plague. So you can imagine my excitement as I see her being dragged by a pit bull who weighed slightly less than me and screaming, "he's really friendly!" Bullshit. He's not friendly, you're saying that to try to mitigate the straight up FEAR in my eyes as he's barreling towards my dog...who is roughly the size of his head. So "Sargent" comes straight towards Bella and before I can pick her up their leashes are tangled and he's attacking her. (Should have just risked the pee on the carpet and went back to sleep.)

I finally said screw the damn leash and went in to grab Bella. (Having no fear of Sargent and his gnarly growl and bite). Bella*, who has no freaking clue of how small she is or the fact that the 5 teeth she still has are rounded and cause very little damage, if any (ask the cat) is trying to fight back the ENTIRE time I'm trying to grab her out of Sarge's mouth. All while screaming "HE'S BITING HER! HE'S BITING HER!" and kicking him in the chest. Not hard of course, but enough to get him to release my dog's leg from his mouth, where he's gnawing like it's a damn chicken wing! Crazy neighbor lady finally has to THROW HER ENTIRE BODY on top of him to get him to release Bella.

At this point I'm not sure who's more scared, me or Bella. We literally sat there both shaking while I tried to figure out if she still had four legs in tact. I took her in the house where she ran around trying to get back outside. (Seriously. I just risked my hands so you could keep your hind legs, the fight is over.) I went back out and told crazy neighbor lady she's fine and her response was, "Well yeah, because he bit my finger instead." You can imagine the sympathy I had for her. She did profusely apologize (which meant nothing to me) and scolded her dog in a kind of, somewhat, sort of mean voice (which meant nothing to him.)

I later discovered (thanks to stains on the bedspread) she did get nicked a little by his teeth right in her ass. So she was bleeding a little but she seemed totally un-phased by it. (I on the other hand, want to vom when I see blood. So it took me a bit to get over the fact that there was blood anywhere.) So around 11:00 the ordeal ended with the bedspread in the washer, Bella calmed down and my head hitting the pillow.

Here's where I step up to my soapbox...

I love dogs. And it breaks my damn heart when people classify dogs as "mean dogs." I don't believe any particular breed is mean, people abuse the attributes of certain breeds and MAKE the dogs mean. They TRAIN them to be mean dogs based on the fact that they've got big teeth and their bodies are the size of mine. (i.e. pit bulls and rottweilers). This woman has NO BUSINESS with a dog that big who she can't control. Dogs that size need substantial training because they are that strong and do have that kind of capability.

This is also where I point out that I am ridiculously aware of how NOT TRAINED my dog is (though she can give knucks and sit when she wants to). However, my dog is also only 19 pounds and has the aforementioned 5 rounded teeth. Fortunately even though she isn't trained, there's very little damage she is capable of (again, ask the kitty when we brought her home at less than 2 pounds and she kicked Bella's ass...repeatedly). If you can't control your dog on a walk and he is literally dragging you around, you shouldn't have him. And the solution of just screaming, "HE'S FRIENDLY!" clearly isn't working.

Secondly, if you are going to get a dog, please read a book, maybe even two, about dogs instead of thinking you're smart enough to just instinctively know about them. Even the friendliest of dogs can get aggressive when they feel threatened and are on a leash. This is why they STRONGLY suggest not leaving your dog on a leash at a dog park. It makes them feel restricted and if another dog comes and makes them feel threatened, they may get aggressive. So if you're dog weighs more than you, is stronger than you, and is on a leash...maybe, JUST MAYBE, you don't let him charge towards a pug the size of his head. Because if you can't control him as he walks, you SURE AS HELL aren't going to be able to control him as he's trying to eat her. FYI.

Also, I think the cat enjoyed this all. My entire petting zoo is made of assholes. The cutest assholes ever.

*For those keeping track at home, this is the THIRD time Bella has thought she could defend herself against a dog weighing over 100 pounds and the first time it didn't require staples.

Android vs. iPhone

I recently drank the koolaid and joined the iPhone army. I had been contemplating the jump since Sprint announced they'd be carrying the iPhone but had been hesitant because for the most part I avoid change like the plague. But after I dropped my android for the second time, the cracks to the screen were too much to tolerate. (After the first drop - both times it landed face down - I was able to get used to it, they were small cracks up in the corner and while it looked ghetto, it was still readable and worked so I kept it.) When I took my phone in to be repaired / replaced, I was informed that it would be $50 cheaper to get the iPhone4...So after much back and forth I finally decided to take the plunge. (FYI, because I know you're all dying to know...there was a rather long waiting list for the iPhone 4s and the only thing I dislike more than change is waiting, I couldn't wait around for a new phone. It had to be immediate. Naturally.)

Now that I've had the iphone for a few weeks I feel comfortable enough to make some commentary about the two.

First, the number one thing I miss from my android was a feature in the alarm clock. On the android, when you set an alarm clock and saved it, there was a little banner that popped up that would say, "This alarm will go off in 8 hours and 4 minutes." Occasionally that little notification would stress me out (i.e. any time the number was less than 8 hours. I'd cry a little to myself about how few hours of sleep I was getting.) But for the most part, it saved my life. Or at least my ability to show up at work on time. Because when I accidentally would be setting an alarm for the a.m. or for a Saturday morning, it would say, "This alarm is set to go off in 4 days 8 hours and 24 minutes" and I was able to immediately know, "hey, that's not right!" So while it seemed minor with the android, I learned quickly of it's importance when I accidentally set my iphone alarm for pm and was almost late to work. (Yes, I know, I can just be more careful when setting an alarm. I'm working on that.)

Second, I thought I missed my notification light. Since my 2 versions of Blackberry before the android I've been quite accustomed (read: trained) to having a notification light that told me when anything happened with my phone. Mail, text, phone, etc. I was pretty sad about missing the notification light on the iphone. Until recently I realized how quickly apple has retrained me. Yesterday, while sitting at my desk, I was absolutely annoyed by the notification light blinking on my work blackberry. Touche, apple. You win. I feel much less chained to the blinking light.

Third, one of my favorite things about the iphone (techies be warned, this is NOT something you're going to consider a "big deal") is that my text conversations are grouped, easy to read, and most importantly, all in one bubble. The android only let you text 160 characters per message. This drove me insane. I found myself trying to break up texts so that I wasn't sending a part 2 message that just said, "ing." (Or any other random ending to a message.) This is very pleasing to me that I can be as long winded as necessary and at least on my end, it's all in one bubble.

Finally, I get the "cool" apps. No more 2nd rate substitute for instagram. No more hearing about cool iphone apps only to discover android hasn't gotten it yet. In terms of development, it seems like iphone wins and I can have all the cool apps I want. So there's that.

I still love my android. In fact, it's the first phone I haven't tucked away in a drawer somewhere when its replacement came. I have a bunch of apps my three year old nephew LOVED on there (and that kept him entertained while waiting around anywhere). So I keep it charged and in my purse and when I see him now instead of asking for "Angie's phone" and telling me it's "in Angie's purse" he asks for "Angie's old phone, Joey's phone...in Angie's purse." So it lives on. And he's quite happy with it...cracks and all!