Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Resolutions, my left foot.

I have to start with a very random story that came into my head from the title of this post. I used to say "My left foot" instead of saying, "my ass." I have no idea why I chose the least offensive swear of all time to cut out of my vocabulary. I will gladly blow out a "Shut the fuck up" but for some reason, I needed to replace, "my ass" when showing I didn't approve of something. Hey, I never claimed logic. Anyway, in high school we had to read this book called, "My Left Foot" and it was about a guy who lost his arms maybe? Anyway, he painted these gorgeous works of art with his left foot. Any time I would say, "my left foot" to project me NOT approving of something, my friend Emily would always bring up the author of the book. And generally (if barefoot) demonstrate her inability to do anything artistic with her left foot. Seriously, I can hardly type it without giggling. (I've actually laughed out loud a few times already thinking of her with a pencil between her toes). Ah, good times.

ANYWAY. That was not the point of this. The point is I am disapproving of resolutions at this point. I read Amy's recap of where she's at with the goals she set for herself back in January (and honestly, felt a little better about resolutions in general. I like company in failing, sue me!) Then, after feeling better, I thought to myself, "hey, did you set goals this year?" Which is generally a great sign when you're thinking about checking in with said goals. Not remembering is a good indicator of where I am at with them. Turns out I did not set goals. So, look at me! I'm right on par with my resolutions for this year! Go me.

Actually, what more realistically happened is that before I actually had my life turned upside down, I anticipated it coming. Then my reality hit. And then, if we're being completely honest (which I do pride myself on being with y' readers), the progression probably went something like this:

1. Goals? Fuck goals.
2. My goal is to NOT drink every night this week and incorporate food other than mac & cheese.
3. Get your ass back in the gym before it turns into the consistency of mac & cheese (that is SICK to think about...)
4. Hey, the gym feels nice, keep that up.
5. Quit pouting.
7. Fine, pout a little, but then it's time to put the big girl pants on.
8. Put on your big girl pants.
9. Keep ass in gym to keep metaphorical "big girl pants" from turning into literal BIG girl pants.
10. Find something else to do with your time.

Those are a good wrap up of the 10 goals I may have set for myself in the last couple months. I set very short term goals. I don't call them goals, they're more or less my weekly themes. But, the good news? I have completed my goals to this point. And now, with my (shrinking) big girl pants, I look forward to setting some more "normal" goals. And maybe keeping a few of the old ones just for good measure.


  1. That's why I like the word goals instead of resolutions! In my original post back in January, I totally admitted that it's partially semantics, but goals to me seem to stretch for the whole year and resolutions are something that are given up by the end of January. I like having something to strive for which is why I set goals every year. I actually set monthly and weekly goals too, because I am a huge nerd, but that's beside the point...:)

  2. Amy, NOT a nerd at all. I have created a template for my weekly to do list (both at work and home) with little check boxes so I can create lists and physically check off my baby goals throughout the week. I think there's so much to be said for making the small goals, makes the big ones seem more attainable!