Tuesday, September 22, 2009

To be sixteen again.

I coach a high school cheerleading squad. Specifically, I'm the head JV coach. The majority of the 18 girls on my squad are freshman (I have 4 sophomores). Sometimes I find it endearing the naivety of some of the girls. It's cute the "problems" they're going through. Cute in an entirely NOT condescending way. I remember high school and I remember some of the exact phrases coming out of my mouth. "What if I don't get a date for the dance?" "So and so bought the same dress as me" "Johnny and I are going to be together forever!" It's cute because I recall those feelings and in that moment, that shit is REAL.

However, there are other times, when they've got more complaints than problems and somewhere (must have been VERY fine print in the contract) it seems to have stated that their complaints are now my problems. Let me point out - if there were legit complaints or problems, I have no problem figuring it out and creating a solution. In 4 years of coaching, I've gotten very good at that. However, here are some of the complaints from the anonymous (read: say whatever you want - they won't know it's you) (stupid idea on our part) bitching they did via pen & paper.

"Our coaches sometimes are late to practice"

Listen here ladies. I drive my butt 30 mins from work to school in crazy
traffic. I am almost ALWAYS there in plenty of time, and when I'm late
another coach is already there. If someone wants to pay me a full time
job salary to coach - I'll quit my day job and show up an hour and a
half early each night.
Til then, deal.
You're stretching for the first 20 mins anyways.

"The coaches single out one girl and tell her what she's doing wrong."

Yes ma'am I do. It's called criticism and you can get used to it.
Your parents, boyfriend, husband, children, boss are going to be
doing this for the rest of your life.

P.S. Your parents have entrusted me w/ your life - when you're
effing around and being all dangerous w/ a girl6' in the air,
you bet your ass I'm going to call you on it.
Be thankful that's all I do!

"We don't like to practice at the same time as Varsity."

Apparently high school math has failed you miserably.
Let me lay it out for you.
There are 5 week days.
There are 2 squads who share a practice space.
We each practice 3 days a week.
Currently we have one day w/o them there for practice.
You have games once a week.
If you can find those magical additional days somewhere in there
we'll have practice on them.

P.S. If you so much as mention a Saturday or Sunday
you're off the squad.

"Some of the girls drink & do drugs."

Are you freaking kidding me?! I was no angel in HS,
but I am positive I was not drinking and getting high
at 14. I think I may have still been wearing leggings
(probably not, but maybe!). Maybe their parents should
spend less time e-mailing me about what Suzie said
to you at practice last night and more time
keeping you off the sauce!!
You're 14 and getting high often enough to be "known for it"?
Where are you going to be come your 20's?
R-E-H-A-B. What does that spell? Rehab.


For the most part, I really enjoy coaching. This is my "senior" season and for the past 3 years I've greatly enjoyed the position. However, without fail, these high school girls never cease to amaze me (and their parents can be even worse!)

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